Slowest. News week. Ever. So, celeb gossip bloggers have taken to their favorite slow-news-week activity: posting outtakes and best-takes from celeb photo shoots. Check out some of my favorites, and pray that someone finally snaps that pic of Paris Hilton doing what she does best in the bathroom at Hyde next week.

Shakira at the Latin Grammys [Teddy and Moo]

Kristen Bell in Giant magazine. [HGW]

Paris Hilton in Seventeen. [MollyGood]

Celeb candids [celebrity nation]

Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony at a Latin Recording Academy event. [YBNBY]

Brangelina and Maddox in India. [Hollyscoop]

Grey’s star Ellen Pompeo on Friends, Kate Walsh by Roberto D’Este [HGW, more]

And, finally, a celeb nipple slip compilation video. [Celebrity Pictorials]

Christmas is right around the corner. But why wait? Get one of these for your loved ones today. After all, Kevin Federline’s album comes out on Tuesday.

[Thanks to Just *dot* Christina for the tip. Er, I mean, for the heads-up. Shit. No. Thanks for the penis. Wait. Grr.]

I don’t know if she is naked. I don’t know if they are doin’ something nasty. Use your imagination.

Thanks [Mclady Celebrities] for the hot pics. There are more where that came from…

While you all are hard at work solving my movie puzzle, you might want to take a short break to relax, have a cup of coffee, and check out Kate Moss topless and dancing. It’s mesmerizing, really.

In Touch magazine is reporting that Rick Salomon and rapper Eve were spotted getting cozy at Hyde nightclub. Is the infamous Eiffel-towered star of One Night in Paris planning to title his sequel Summer’s Eve? Or perhaps Paris Hilton’s former boyfriend has finally found a starlet willing to insert a liquor bottle into her lady parts while being videotaped, an area in which Paris was a grave disappointment. Eve does have a history of sex toys and videotape. Regardless of their individual rationales, rest assured that the real loser here is you, as you’re sure to be up all night, engaged in a Jacobian wrestling match with the God of your personal allegiances, struggling to determine which of them you actually care less about.

[via Bossip]

Where’s your God now, Joan of Arcadia?

Uncensored version after the jump.

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