Yes, Mickey Rourke is fucking his movie daughter, Evan Rachel Wood.  The two met on the set of The Wrestler and obviously hit it off.  Naked.  Sweet Jesus, Wood is obviously into really weird and unattractive men.  Homely dudes are the best in bed; it’s an overcompensation thing.  Unfortunately, since I got LASIK, taking out my contacts to get through ugly sex is no longer an option.

Despite all the denials, on the night of the SAG Awards they were making out at after-parties and went up to his room at the Four Seasons.  I guess that isn’t solid proof of sex; maybe they were up there being just friends and eating overpriced cashews.  Who am I kidding?  They are so having sex.  This picture says it all, doesn’t it?

Word on the street is that the Grossness That Is Mickey Rourke has nabbed the role of the villain in Iron Man 2, alongside Sam Rockwell.

A very tight lid is being kept on the script, but it is known that Rourke would play a tattooed Russian heavy named Ivan who becomes Whiplash, a man with deadly, technologically enhanced coils.

Rockwell would play Justin Hammer, a multibillionaire businessman and a rival of industrialist Anthony Stark, a.k.a. Iron Man, a role being reprised by Robert Downey Jr.

Gwyneth Paltrow is also returning as Tony Stark/Iron Man’s executive assistant, while Don Cheadle is replacing Terrence Howard as the hero’s best buddy. Another part — one for Stark’s assistant Natasha — is still open.

I really don’t care whether or not he’s a good actor. The guy just grosses me out. I hate hearing about him.

So Mickey “Class Act” Rourke — you may remember his from his role as the bad guy in the Enrique Iglesias “Hero” video — got wasted (NO SURPRISE THERE) and, when asked by the paps about rumors that he was dating Evan Rachel Wood, spouted off about “that faggot who said all that shit in the papers.” The video (which you can watch here) quickly went viral.

Now he’s all like “Whoops, that was dumb,” and issued this apology:

“I want to sincerely apologize for the derogatory word I used,” he says in a statement. “It was insensitive and inappropriate of me and I am deeply sorry that I may have offended anyone.”

Okay, Mickey. Thanks for the apology. You can go back to not mattering now.

The fun starts around 1:05, where Mickey Rourke finds a very eloquent way of denying allegations that he’s dating Evan Rachel Wood. In his words: “She’s a good friend, that’s it. And tell that faggot who said all that shit in the paper I’d like to break his fucking legs.” Classy, that guy.

Oh, and you know what fucking makes me crazy? The leggy blondes who act sooooo annoyed by the paparazzi when you know they are loving this. Like, come on, sweetie, you’re not walking around with Mickey Rourke because he has such fantastic skin. You’re there because he’s famous and you want to be with famous people and you want the whole world to know you’re with famous people. And since the best you can land is Mickey Fucking Rourke, you’re thrilled that, for just one day, the paparazzi actually give a shit about him. So don’t yell at the paps, sweetheart. It makes you look even more pathetic.

Evan Rachel Wood, age 21, just broke up with 39-year-old Marilyn Manson.

So who’s her new love?

She reportedly flew to Vegas this weekend with 56-year-old Mickey Rourke. Ewwwwwww. She was supposed to attend an event at Tao with him, but canceled at the last minute, ostensibly to avoid drawing attention to the fact that she’s porking a 56-year-old.

Daddy issues much, Evan?

She did, however, make it to an awards show in Hollywood on Sunday night, looking very — um — Dita Von Teese-ish, ahem.

On a scooter!!! Here’s the best part: since he’s a total Z-lister, you probably never would have heard this story if he hadn’t been being a drunken jackass in such close proximity to Jennifer Lopez. The photog who got the scoop and the pics was actually on the street looking for JLo when Mickey went and got his ass arrested.

Page Two lensman Fred Montana said he was looking for preggers glamour girl Jennifer Lopez at about 2 a.m. when he bumped into Rourke walking into the nightclub Mansion with an unidentified hottie.

“They came back out two hours later and crossed Washington Avenue to go to his scooter,” Montana said. “They both got on it, and he did a U-turn to go north. He was pulled over within a block.

“The cop says to him: ‘You swerved right in front of me.’ And Mickey answered: ‘No, no, dude, I’m all right.’”

Actually, according to the arrest report, Rourke also let out a four-letter bomb when he was stopped. Cops say the actor had a flushed face and bloodshot and watery eyes and that his speech was slurred.

“I’m not drunk, I didn’t even drink that much,” Rourke said, according to the report.

Rourke allegedly failed field-sobriety tests before being taken to headquarters for a breath test.

“He could not do the walk in a straight line,” Montana said.