Does Michael Jackson deserve to adulation he’s received post-mortem? Here’s my story:

“So the Jackson story’s pretty much run its course?” a friend asked me tonight. “No,” I said. “At least six months more. At least.”

He was flabbergasted. “What could they be talking about for six months?”

Well, we’ll talk about the biological parentage of his kids, we’ll talk about who gets what in his estate, we’ll talk about who whore what to court and whether they were late; people will from time to time bring up the whereabouts of Bubbles and a potential feature film, at some point Macualay Culkin will have to weigh in, and then every now and then someone will make a very, very horrible but pee-your-pants funny joke about his death and I will laugh. Like what just happened a few hours ago. No, I’m not repeating it. But seriously. This is going to last FOREVER, so hop on the train and get a seat.

It’s a fascinating phenomenon, this public outcry of grief we see when a major celebrity passes. These deaths are an opportunity for mass catharsis. It’s not that these people are crying over Michael Jackson or Farrah Fawcett specifically; they’re externalizing pain that’s probably needed a release for some time. You see a sort of mob mentality take over — the grief feeds upon the grief. In today’s society, how often do we get an opportunity to stand on the street with strangers and share a good cry? It’s not really my style, but I can see the appeal. There are certainly less healthy outlets for pain.

Michael Jackson died from an accidental overdose of the prescription pills he was abusing. He died of addiction, which is a disease. That disease doesn’t make him a bad person, or less worthy of adulation, than if he’d died of cancer. Bill O’Reilly thinks otherwise.

Dr. Arnold Klein — the rumored bio-dad of Paris and Prince — appeared on Good Morning America today, where he grinned and stated that “to the best of my knowledge, I’m not the father.”

He continues to say that “I don’t want to feed any of this insanity that’s going around,” which is FOR SURE not what he’s doing by appearing on national television and giving vague answers about the paternity of Michael’s children. Bravo, dude. Way to take the high road.

I didn’t watch Michael’s memorial service, but I did have it playing on a minimized window on my computer.  So, I heard Mariah Carey sing poorly — was it because of emotion or was she just bad?.  I also heard Al Sharpton with his totally inappropriate “Wasn’t nothing strange about your daddy,” speech and did I hear some politician talking about laws or the Constitution, or something like that?  What the hell was that about?

Well, the funeral is over.  Now things can return to normal and we should only have stories to report about the battle over Michael’s estate and kids for the next eight to ten years, or so.

Above, a clip from really the most heart-rending part of the service.  Michael’s daughter, Paris made a brief statement.

Today is the Staples Center celebrity-studded bash memorial service for Michael Jackson.  If you live in L.A., I’d like to extend my condolences to you right now.  I predict that the city will be shut down.  Speaking of the city, isn’t Los Angeles running at a deficit?  Because this cluster is costing about $3.5M.  How is paying for this?  I mean, Michael Jackson was a singer.  Dead presidents don’t get this much honor.

The morning began with a private funeral service for family members to attend — that’s happening now.  Afterward, the 10-car motorcade will proceed onward to the Staples Center for the big concert memorial service. 

Originally the Jackson family intended on charging $25 a ticket, but that plan was quickly abandoned.  Hopefully, that plan was quickly abandoned because they realized that it was crass to capitalize on their son’s death.  The cynic in me asks:  “Who wants to take bets that there will be a Jackson Memorial Tribute DVD on the market before the holiday gift-giving season?”

Anyway, today would be a terrific day for any celebs to be arrested for solicitation or to get caught cheating.  Media coverage is going to be all MJ, all day.  And I’m sorry for that.

CNN taped footage as they took a tour through the Neverland Ranch the other day.  What appeared at the entrance to Michael Jackson’s bedroom was just eerie beyond belief.  Or a shadow. 

I’d like to tell Larry King that it’s the last of his career walking out the door, but I digress.

Personally, I’m totally voting ghost here.  Only so I can say things like, “You thought he bleached his skin before?  He’s white as a ghost now!” and “He was seen at the ranch, but he was just a shadow of his former self.”

In addition to this, the first of many anticipated Michael Jackson sightings, keep your eyes pealed at Denny’s, Citgo stations, the produce department of all Piggly Wiggly locations, and at his memorial service tomorrow.  He will be seen!

I’ve heard that the heat makes some people grumpy.  Apparently, that was the case with Debbie Rowe as she exited an Indian restaurant yesterday and started throwing out threats and wagging her acrylics at overzealous paps.  With a temper like that, I hope the courts will require her to have some anger management classes before trying to raise preteens, because they do a hell of a lot worse than bump into you.

After the jump, see what New York Congressman Peter King had to say about the low-life pervert, better known as Michael Jackson.

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Madonna performed last night at o2, the same venue that Michael Jackson was slated to begin playing at on July 13th.  She gave a shout out to the King of Pop as a Michael Jackson moonwalked and yeeeee-haaaa-haaaaed around the stage.  

There must be so much demand for MJ impersonators now.  May you all dust off your gloves and Jheri curl and get to work!