As the big cheese around here, it’s my job to break it to you that our darling Soleil will no longer be posting on weekends. Weekend posting is a notoriously tough gig (just ask Wendie!), and Soleil did a fantastic job with it. She’s a remarkably talented writer, and her application for the position stood out to me right from the start. I know you guys got as many laughs out of her posts as I did, and I’m sad to see her go. She’s now on to bigger and better things in her professional life, and here at the Evil Beet we wish her all the best.

In happier news, I’m proud to announce that Ms. Kelly Hays will be coming on board for the weekends, starting immediately. Kelly is yet another exceptionally talented and funny writer, and I’m sure you guys will adore her, except for those of you who will bash her just because you always enjoy bashing the new kid. I’ll let Kelly introduce herself more thoroughly when she starts tomorrow morning. Try to be polite, children.

xoxo,
Beet

Two points this time:

1) I’ve set you all up to have a default avatar, so you’ll notice a funny face showing up next to your comments. If you would like to change that and design your own avatar, go to the Gravatar website (it’s here and it’s free) and get yourself set up. I like to have a face to put with your name! Or, at the very least, your pet’s face.

2) I’m going to plug the games widget we have on the site now. It’s toward the bottom of the sidebar, under the words “Free Games.” I’m plugging it because the games are awesome and I think they could be really fun for you guys who need to kill time at work or at home while the kiddos are napping or when you need a study break or when you’re waiting for your boyfriend to get hard. Look, these people running this games business have a crap-ass business model and can’t move ad inventory, so I’m making like sixty cents a day to host these games; this isn’t about me making fistfuls of cold hard cash. I’m keeping them up because I know a lot of you are playing them and enjoying them. And I want to encourage those of you who haven’t tried them out to give it a shot and see if you like them. (My favorite is Diner Dash.) If they’re on here, y’all may as well be playing them.

That’s all for now!

xoxo
Beet

Hi guys!

I know the site has been running slow today, and that it’s been difficult to comment.

I’m working on getting it fixed.

If you are getting errors while trying to access Evil Beet, I would really appreciate it if you could email me at evilbeet@gmail.com with the error and the browser you are using and any other information about the problem.

We’ll get this all sorted out. Thank you for your patience!

xoxo,
Beet

Hi guys!

Yes, I know we’re having some downtime today. I’m very sorry about that, and we’re trying to get to the bottom of it. It seems to be related to the comments table, though, so please be patient if your comments take longer than usual to get approved right now. You’re not being censored, I promise! (Unless you’ve broken one of our cardinal commenting laws, particularly the one about Dave Matthews Band.) Per usual, thanks for reading, and I DO love your comments, even if they’re causing me a teeny tiny headache today.

xoxo,
Beet

Welp, today’s my birthday and, to retaliate, my body has decided to become violently ill once again.

And, no, it’s not because I was out getting all crazy to celebrate my birthday.

Rather, it appears to be a severe case of food poisoning.

Yay!!!!

I’m going to try to post some later in the day, but for now I just need to sleep and not be awake at all because being awake when you’re this sick is just plain scary. This year has just not been awesome so far, health-wise, and I’m sorry I keep taking days off because of it. But hopefully this is just a simple case of food poisoning that’ll be all better in a few hours.

And don’t forget, kids, Britney’s big TV comeback appearance is tonight! I had been considering that to be my birthday present from God, but now I’m pretty sure he just smote me instead.

I had a blast at the Conway & Whitman show on 97.1 last night. Everyone at the studio was so sweet and easy to talk to, and we had a great time. Hopefully I’ll be making a return visit!

If you want to hear the voice behind this blog, you can check out the interview here. The podcast is available on their website. The first six minutes or so aren’t me, but the rest of it is.

Hey kiddos,

So I’m taking a break for the rest of the day to drive back to SoCal, where I’ll make a pit stop in San Diego to bother my genius PhD-student little sister during her finals (and she hates when I talk about her on this blog, so I’ll be sure to give you guys a comprehensive update on how she’s doing), and then it’s off to LA, where I’ll be hitting up the Conway & Whitman show on 97.1 to blab for an hour about whatever it is I do. I’ll be on from 10-11 pm PST on Thursday night, so be sure to tune in. If you’re not in LA, you can listen on their website.

I’ll check back in with you guys tonight!

xoxo
Beet