Just a quick little FYI about a change in the roster around here. Kelly will, per her request, be gracing us with her special brand of comedic genius only every other weekend. I know, I know. I’m bummed about it too, but I’m very grateful she wants to stay on board and continue to write for you guys while she pursues other careers and, ya know, a social life, which can be hard to have when you work seven days a week.

But here’s the really awesome news:

On the weekends Kelly’s not around, I’m really really really excited to announce that we’ll have the fabulous Molly McAleer on board — starting tomorrow. I will let her do a formal introduction herself tomorrow when she starts, but I will tell you guys that I have been a big fan of Molly since her days on Defamer, and have followed her personal blog, and have watched some amazing episodes of her web show. I think it was about a year ago that I started to beg her to come work for me, and I finally got her to say yes! She’s also been doing video pieces over on our sister site, Zelda Lily.

I’m really looking forward to reading Molly’s posts. I know she’s extremely creative and insightful and funny, and I suspect it’ll be a blast.

But, per usual guys, please be nice. It’s her first weekend.

xoxo
Beet

xoxo
Beet

If you haven’t noticed by now, we’ve got a little feminism/women’s issues blog in the works over at ZeldaLily.com. The site’s only been around for a month, but we’ve already got an awesome audience and a lot of interesting conversations going on over there. We stuck our little toes into the water and it was warm — so we’re looking to produce more content, and, as such, we’re looking for more writers.

Zelda Lily is hiring ONE PAID editor and TWO UNPAID interns. All positions are PART TIME and you will be responsible for contributing at least 4-5 pieces weekly to the site. Obviously we’re looking for female writers, but, ya know, I’m open to considering anyone who thinks they’re qualified, man or woman. And, unlike the Evil Beet positions, the Zelda Lily positions are open to talented writers under the age of 18.

To apply for the paid position, you MUST HAVE professional experience writing for a major publication (ie newspaper, magazine or website). Please DO NOT apply for the paid position if you do not have these credentials and links to your existing, published work, as you will NOT be considered. If you think you’d make a good contributor to Zelda Lily and you’d like to get experience writing for a larger audience, please consider applying for the unpaid intern positions to get some experience under your belt. If it works out, there will be opportunities for you to move into a paid editor role down the road.

To apply, send an email to sasha@zeldalily.com with either the subject line “ZL Editor Application” or “ZL Intern Application.” If you don’t use one of those subjects, you won’t be considered. Please include a cover letter as well as multiple writing samples and/or links to existing blogs. If you’re applying for the paid position, please detail your PROFESSIONAL writing experience (that means you were paid for it) in your cover letter.

Looking forward to hearing from you!

Hey remember how awhile back I added the Reply option to the comments on here and it was a giant pain in my ass but now you guys totally love it and use it all the time? Yeah. This was a pain in my ass, too. So use it. And don’t say I don’t love you or listen to your comments. Well, I do love you. I don’t always listen to your comments. But I try to respond to requests like this within the year. So enjoy!

xoxo
Beet

So I’ll be in and out here over the next couple of days. My BFF is coming into town tonight, and I’m so excited to show her around my adopted hometown of Seattle, and to spend time with her, because I haven’t really spent any extended time in the same city as her for years. Wendie will be around working her special brand of bloggy magic, but posting will be slower than usual because I won’t be chiming in as often. However, I’ll be sure to give you guys a full report on the Britney Spears show on Thursday, for which I am currently trying to find a pink wig. Anyone know where I can get a pink wig in Seattle?

Meanwhile, since my friend is coming in from San Diego — flying out of the sunshine and into the rain — now seems as good a time as any to fulfill my contractual obligation to plug one of the awesome sponsors that keeps this site in business, San DieGO Downtown. San Diego actually is a perfect place for a getaway right now, especially if you live anywhere near or like Seattle, where the sky didn’t seem to really read the memo that it’s spring now. Airlines are cheap, hotels are offering crazy booking deals, and restaurants are practically giving food away. San DieGO Downtown is a great resource about San Diego, specifically the downtown area, with info on hotels, restaurants, happy hours, shopping, events, free events, sample trip itineraries, and more. They have an ongoing spring campaign right now called Time to Spring-Diego where added deals are being offered now until April 30. You can use San DieGO Downtown to book a hotel now through April 30th and receive free restaurant coupons. So if you’re looking for a little SoCal sunshine, and the thought of LA makes your head hurt, consider San Diego, and check out San DieGO Downtown for info and deals.

And, with that, all my contractual obligations for the week are complete. I’m outtie, kids. See ya at the Britney show!

In happier news, I’m proud to announce that Ms. Kelly Hays will be coming on board for the weekends, starting immediately. Kelly is yet another exceptionally talented and funny writer, and I’m sure you guys will adore her, except for those of you who will bash her just because you always enjoy bashing the new kid. I’ll let Kelly introduce herself more thoroughly when she starts tomorrow morning. Try to be polite, children.

xoxo,
Beet

1) I’ve set you all up to have a default avatar, so you’ll notice a funny face showing up next to your comments. If you would like to change that and design your own avatar, go to the Gravatar website (it’s here and it’s free) and get yourself set up. I like to have a face to put with your name! Or, at the very least, your pet’s face.

2) I’m going to plug the games widget we have on the site now. It’s toward the bottom of the sidebar, under the words “Free Games.” I’m plugging it because the games are awesome and I think they could be really fun for you guys who need to kill time at work or at home while the kiddos are napping or when you need a study break or when you’re waiting for your boyfriend to get hard. Look, these people running this games business have a crap-ass business model and can’t move ad inventory, so I’m making like sixty cents a day to host these games; this isn’t about me making fistfuls of cold hard cash. I’m keeping them up because I know a lot of you are playing them and enjoying them. And I want to encourage those of you who haven’t tried them out to give it a shot and see if you like them. (My favorite is Diner Dash.) If they’re on here, y’all may as well be playing them.

That’s all for now!

xoxo
Beet

I know the site has been running slow today, and that it’s been difficult to comment.

I’m working on getting it fixed.

If you are getting errors while trying to access Evil Beet, I would really appreciate it if you could email me at evilbeet@gmail.com with the error and the browser you are using and any other information about the problem.

We’ll get this all sorted out. Thank you for your patience!

xoxo,
Beet

Yes, I know we’re having some downtime today. I’m very sorry about that, and we’re trying to get to the bottom of it. It seems to be related to the comments table, though, so please be patient if your comments take longer than usual to get approved right now. You’re not being censored, I promise! (Unless you’ve broken one of our cardinal commenting laws, particularly the one about Dave Matthews Band.) Per usual, thanks for reading, and I DO love your comments, even if they’re causing me a teeny tiny headache today.

xoxo,
Beet

Welp, today’s my birthday and, to retaliate, my body has decided to become violently ill once again.

And, no, it’s not because I was out getting all crazy to celebrate my birthday.

Rather, it appears to be a severe case of food poisoning.

Yay!!!!

I’m going to try to post some later in the day, but for now I just need to sleep and not be awake at all because being awake when you’re this sick is just plain scary. This year has just not been awesome so far, health-wise, and I’m sorry I keep taking days off because of it. But hopefully this is just a simple case of food poisoning that’ll be all better in a few hours.

And don’t forget, kids, Britney’s big TV comeback appearance is tonight! I had been considering that to be my birthday present from God, but now I’m pretty sure he just smote me instead.

If you want to hear the voice behind this blog, you can check out the interview here. The podcast is available on their website. The first six minutes or so aren’t me, but the rest of it is.