I hope you’re all getting into some debauchery tonight. Like I said earlier, it’s the one night of the year when you can dress like a slut, a freak, or a creep, and people won’t think you’re insane or hold you accountable. It’s just like living in Hollywood.

Celebs are taking advantage of the same opportunity. Katie Couric was spotted sporting this year’s ubiquitous Kate Gosselin costume while the hosts of the Today Show went the Luke & Leia route. Fashion designer Michael Kors dressed in a detailed hippie costume while designer Valentino (above) dressed up as an Oompah Loompah. Oh wait… that’s not a costume.

Would someone please tell me what the hell Martha Stewart and Mickey Rourke are supposed to be? I tried to figure out their costumes, but the best I could come up with was “tree trunk” and “Mickey Rourke.”

Someone needs to hose down the cougar — God, I hate that expression — that is Meredith Viera.  About a week ago, I was watching the Today Show and it seemed so clear to me that Meredith is fucking Matt Lauer.  You know that unmistakable body language that exists between two people who have exchanged body fluids?  They have it — big time!  I’m sure their respective spouses (Meredith’s has suffered with MS for over 35 years and Matt’s has filed for divorce a couple of times) are very appreciative.

Now Viera appears to be trying to sink her fangs into an attractive, young pilot.  I was so embarassed for this Who Wants to be a Millionaire? contestant.  How about, Who Wants Some Mace?

Seriously, Meredith, keep it in your pants.  ’Kay?

Thanks, Diane!