Robyn Gibson, wife of Mel, has finally given Mel his walking papers.  The superstar’s wife filed for divorce last Thursday in L.A. County as the final act of their twenty-nine year marriage.  It’s.  About.  Time.

You know, I remember hearing about this marriage and its troubles back in the eighties when I obtained all my celebrity gossip from The National Enquirer or PM Magazine because the closest thing I owned to a computer was my Little Professor.  And believe me, people with computers were using them for munching on pac-dots, not the Internet.  Anyway, back then, the story was that Mel was an irrational, unstable, philandering drunk.  Boy, how times have changed.  Today he’s a bi-polar, alcoholic, wayward, anti-Semitic, homophobe.

It’s always sad to see a marriage end-especially when children are involved.  The Gibsons have seven but only one, Tom, is a minor.  My own personal philosophy is that even the most tragic of happenings have a silver lining.  And the positive in all this?  This bi-polar, alcoholic, wayward, anti-Semitic, homophobe doesn’t have a pre-nup.  In California, that translates to a 50/50 split of assets acquired since 1980.  Something tells me Robyn Gibson has earned.  Every.  Single.  Penny.

First George Clooney, then Brad Pitt, now Mel Gibson?

What’s with the moustaches, guys???

Seriously, does anyone actually enjoy kissing a guy with facial hair?

I take one look at that face and I think “chafing.”

Actually, that’s a lie. First, I think “bigot.” Then I think “chafing.”

A construction worker at one of Mel Gibson’s homes hung himself either Tuesday night or Wednesday morning. The body was discovered Wednesday morning.

No one from Mel’s family is currently living in the Agoura Hills house.

Okay. So.

A couple months ago I met a girl who shall remain nameless. Without divulging too many details, I’ll say that she is very close with the Gibson family, and she was also a very good friend to me at a time in my life when I needed a very good friend.

She took issue with what I did for a living, and begged me not to talk shit about the Gibsons in the future. I agreed. And now I’m kicking myself for it, because there are so many funny and rude things to say about this shit that I now cannot say.

I hope you guys will pick up the slack in the comments section.

Mel Gibson was speaking to a film class at CSU Northridge last night when he reminded us all what a total prick he is. After the presentation, the crowd asked questions. An associate professor of Central American studies asked Gibson if he had read about the Mayan culture before shooting Apocalypto, and Gibson told her he had. The woman insisted that many of the film’s representations of the Mayans — like their participation in sacrifical ceremonies and the violent tendencies — were incorrect and racist. Gibson’s response: “Lady, fuck off.” Further, when emotional audience members of Mayan descent complained about how the film portrayed their culture, they were escorted out of the room, and Gibson screamed at them to “Make your own movie!”

Gibson’s publicist’s best excuse? “This person was a heckler who was rude and disrupted the event, so much so that the event organizers had to escort her out.” Which is totally, totally reasonable. First off, this woman really sounds like a “heckler.” “Boooo … you suck!!!!” Yeah, that’s exactly what she was all about. And, I mean, people who speak at universities are almost never challenged. Universities are, if nothing else, designed to be bastions of intellectual conformity — ideas and the presentation of ideas are never to be challenged in academic settings, and it’s quite typical for university speakers to cuss out those who dispute their work, rather than engage in a point-by-point discussion of the issue at hand. Hey, it’s pretty much exactly how Ann Coulter rose to the position of respect she holds among our nation’s great thinkers. Completely reasonable, Mel. We all would have done the same.

Ron Goldman’s family takes another stab at suing O.J. Simpson. Har har. [A Socialite's Life]

Kim Cattrall says the Sex and the City movie is back on. [Hollywood Backwash]

Mel Gibson learns he may have a 29-year-old daughter as the result of a one-night stand in the ’70s. Much to my chagrin, she’s not Jewish. [Defamer]

Britney Spears desperately needs PR representation to help her better craft her lies. [Cele|bitchy]

Joel Madden removes himself from Nicole Richie for long enough to help ex-girlfriend Hilary Duff drop the restraining order against her stalker. [Pop on the Pop]

Lindsay Lohan hopes your Christmas is adequite. [The Gilded Moose]

Pictures of Christina Aguilera trashed out of her head always have an endearing quality to them. Britney ought to take lessons. [Yeeeah!]

Entertainment Weekly has pulled an interview with Mr. Mel Gibson (his own self).

Overall the interview is well done and somewhat thoughtful. I’d never claim Mel isn’t smart, I’d just claim that clearly he should lay off the fire water. Here are a few of the choice bits though:

Do you feel you’ve done enough apologizing for your anti-Semitic remarks?
“Those were the ravings of an inebriated, angry person. I don’t know. I think publicly I have done enough.”

Hey, newsflash, that person was you. You are angry, were inebriated, raved. I’m sick of people saying “It was the anger talking.” That anger is you fella, take responsibility and say “I’m an angry guy and that’s something I battle with.” Who is this third person you speak of?

People won’t really refuse to work with you?
“No, people aren’t like that. Those are just headlines: Mel Ostracized by Hollywood! Hollywood is what you make it.”

I can tell you based on my experience in the industry that most people don’t take moral stands. If Mel had come out the next day and said “I believe my statements were correct,” he’d still have work. He owns a production company for God’s sake, he has an Oscar. There is one thing Hollywood values above your personal life and views. Money. Cold hard cash, and Mel has a history of delivering it. Thus, short of raping a goat in front of the Hollywood sign, someone will always want to work with him, no matter the religious affiliation.

Here’s some sympathy from Mel:

“I felt like sending Michael Richards a note. I feel really badly for the guy. He was obviously in a state of stress.”

He should feel bad for Richards. Richards is proper fucked, unlike Mel. Why? He hasn’t delivered the money in eight years, and even then it was with an ensemble. Now producers can take a moral stand because it’s fiscally prudent (channeling George Bush I). I now return you to typical Hollywood softball mumbo-jumbo:

Can you teach anybody to act?
“Yeah. It’s about breathing.”

For the record I have no problem separating the art from the artist. Bad people make great films sometimes, sweethearts can make stinkbombs. Braveheart was a great film. But you should be aware that Apocalypto is not a good film. Uber not-goodness. What it is an extremely heavy handed metaphor wrapped up in a very weak story. Boring, silly, pointless. Other than that I loved it. Make sure you see it.