Wait, I don’t understand. Why didn’t they just use this photo? How is this an outtake?

Some unused shots from Megan’s photo shoot for her NYT magazine pics “accidentally” hit the Internet, a phenomenon that occurs more often with Megan Fox than with any starlet ever before her. Megan Fox’s team needs to do a better job of keeping a lid on her hyper-sexualized photo outtakes or they’re just going to keep causing a sensation on the Internet over and over and over again. And nobody wants that, right?

I’ve gotta say, though, one of Megan’s more redeeming qualities is that she doesn’t pose for pics like this and then run around in interviews like “Why does everybody sexualize me? It’s not fair!” I mean, she owns it, and I gotta respect that. I also don’t think I could do that with my leg, so I respect that, too.

“If I could do exciting genre films like this and be covered in blood and vomit for the rest of my life, I would be really happy. It was so cheese-tastic and so gross and so cheap, I loved it. It was so like how I used to dress when I was in high school because I had no money.”

–Megan Fox, describing how both her past and her future include cheapness and vomit.

Rolling Stone cover girl Megan Fox took part in a smoking hot photo shoot for the magazine, and of course, only the very best shots were used. Now several of the outtakes from the shoot have been released and trust me when I say that if this is this chick’s “bad work”, then it really doesn’t matter that she’s borderline retarded. Megan Fox cooking bacon in her undies, seductively chewing on her finger, hanging out all spread-legged and laughing wickedly… Does any of that appeal to you? Check out the gallery below…

I don’t know if you’ve heard of the Spike TV Scream Awards. It bills itself as “honoring the best in fantasy, sci-fi, comics, and horror,” but that’s a load of crap because the winners are decided based on internet votes. And everyone knows the internet has great taste.

The awards show was taped yesterday in L.A. which means there was a lot of iconic media geekiness walking the red carpet. There was also a lot of terrible fashion. In particular, I’m personally disappointed in my girls Katee Sackhoff (Battlestar Galactica) and Kaley Cuoco (Big Bang Theory) for showing up looking like they should be working the register at The Limited… in 1992.

The awards show doesn’t air on Spike TV until Tuesday, October 27th. So, if you actually want to be surprised about who wins what…you’re probably not reading this site in the first place. But if you are, you should stop reading this post now.

The votes have been tallied, and who did the internet choose as the Best Sci-Fi Actress of 2009? Of course it was Megan Fox, that shining cudgel of brilliant Shakespearean acting ability, and tits. She won over Katee Sackhoff and Lena Headey (Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles).

Isabel Lucas, who was on screen for a forgettable 5 minutes in the same shitty giant robot movie as Fox, won an award for Best Breakout Performance for playing a “sexy” robot who tries to seduce The Beef.

But before you go thinking the voters were all 15 year old boys who chose the award winners based on Google image search wankability, you should know that there are more than a few voters with vaginas out there who own a fair share of the blame. Twilight won Best Fantasy Film (in a category that also included Watchmen, Coraline, and the latest Harry Potter installment) and Robert Pattison and Kristen Stewart won Best Fantasy Actor and Actress awards (other nominees in those categories included Brad Pitt & Hugh Jackman for Best Fantasy Actor and Emma Watson & Anna Friel for Best Fantasy Actress).

Whatever, internets. Whatever.

“It is just weird. It is a woman. With a woman’s smell – soft and floral-y – and maybe the pheromones are different. Something about it felt uncomfortable for me…When you are done with the scene, you just think, ‘Oh God, I can do anything.’”

–Jennifer’s Body co-star Amanda Seyfried tells Britain’s InStyle magazine about doing girl-on-girl scenes with Megan Fox.

“I used to have to dress up as a banana…I had the option of apple or banana. I always went with banana because it was thinner.”

Megan Fox in Nylon’s October issue interview.

Please, oh please let a picture of Megan Fox working at a smoothie bar surface.  I need to see her dressed as a Chiquita.  Also, is anyone working on a coffee table book of Megan Fox quotes?  Because I really think it would be a best seller … especially if you can get your hands on that banana pic.

She’s amazing.  Of course, when I say “amazing” you know that I mean “imbecilic”.

An autograph session and fan event for the film Jennifer’s Body was held at the Hot Topic store in Hollywood recently. This constitutes an act of cosmic irony, because in my mind, the Hollywood Hot Topic is exactly where Megan Fox should be working. (I’d like to refer to her as a trailer park blow-up doll filled with hot air, but I consider that an insult to trailer parks and blow-up dolls.)

At any rate, she commented on her frequent inelloquent quotes in the press, saying, “Ninety-eight percent of the things that come out of my mouth are intended to be harmless or even charming. They’re not ever intended to be offensive or controversial.”

I imagine you’ll remember her charming comments on Transformers’ director Michael Bay that called him socially awkward and compared him to Hitler.

Well, a few crew members that worked on the Transformers movies have gotten to together and written a typo-laden diatribe in response to Fox’s criticisms of the director.

This is an open letter to all Michael Bay fans. We are three crew members that have worked with Michael for the past ten years. Last week we read the terrible article with inflammatory, truly trashing quotes by the Ms. Fox about Michael Bay. This letter is to set a few things straight.

Yes, Megan has great eyes, a tight stomach we spray with glycerin, and an awful silly Marilyn Monroe tattoo plastered on her arm that we cover up to keep the moms happy.

Michael found this shy, inexperienced girl, plucked her out of total obscurity thus giving her the biggest shot of any young actresses’ life. He told everyone around to just trust him on his choice. He granted her the starring role in Transformers, a franchise that forever changed her life; she became one of the most googled and oogled women on earth. She was famous! She was the next Angelina Jolie, hooray! Wait a minute, two of us worked with Angelina – second thought – she’s no Angelina. You see, Angelia is a professional.

We know this quite intimately because we’ve had the tedious experience of working with the dumb-as-a-rock Megan Fox on both Transformers movies. We’ve spent a total of 12 months on set making these two movies.

We are in different departments; we can’t give our names because sadly doing so in Hollywood could lead to being banished from future Paramount work. One of us touches Megan’s panties, the other has the often shitty job of pulling Ms. Sourpants out of her trailer, while another is near the Panaflex camera that helps to memorialize the valley girl on film.

Megan has the press fooled. When we read those magazines we wish we worked with that woman. Megan knows how to work her smile for the press. Those writers should try being on set for two movies, sadly she never smiles. The cast, crew and director make Transformers a really fun and energetic set. We’ve traveled around the world together, so we have never understood why Megan was always such the grump of the set?

When facing the press, Megan is the queen of talking trailer trash and posing like a porn star. And yes we’ve had the unbearable time of watching her try to act on set, and yes, it’s very cringe-able. So maybe, being a porn star in the future might be a good career option. But make-up beware, she has a paragraph tattooed to her backside (probably due her rotten childhood) — easily another 45 minutes in the chair!

So when the three of us caught wind of Ms Fox, pontificating yet again in some publication (like she actually has something interesting to say) blabbing her trash mouth about a director whom we three have grown to really like. She compared working with Michael, to “working with Hitler”. We actually don’t think she knows who Hitler is by the way. But we wondered how she doesn’t realize what a disgusting, fully uneducated comment this was? Well, here let’s get some facts straight.

Say what you want about Michael – yes at times he can be hard, but he’s also fun, and he challenges everyone for a reason – he simply wants people to bring their ‘A’ game. He comes very prepared, knows exactly what he wants, involves the crew and expects everyone to follow through with his or her best, and that includes the actors. He’s one of the hardest working directors out there.

He gets the best from his crews, many of whom have worked with him for 15 years. And yes, he’s loyal, one of the few directors we’ve encountered who lowered his fee by millions to keep Transformers in the United States and California, so he could work with his own crew.

Megan says that Transformers was an unsafe set? Come on Megan, we know it is a bit more strenuous then the playground at the trailer park, but you don’t insult one of the very best stunt and physical effects teams in the business! Not one person got hurt!

And who is the real Megan Fox? She is very different than the academy nominee and winning actors we’ve all worked around. She’s as about ungracious a person as you can ever fathom. She shows little interest in the crew members around her. We work to make her look good in every way, but she’s absolutely never appreciative of anyone’s hard work. Never a thank you. All the crewmembers have stopped saying hi to Ms. Princess because she never says hello back. It gets tiring. Many think she just really hates the process of being an actress.

Megan has been late to the sets many times. She goes through the motions that make her exude this sense of misery. We’ve heard the A.D’s piped over the radio that Megan won’t walk from her trailer until John Turturro walks first! John’s done seventy-five movies and she’s made two!

Never expect Megan to attend any of the 15 or so crew parties like all the other actors have. And then there’s the classless night she blew off The Royal Prince of Jordan who made a special dinner for all the actors. She doesn’t know that one of the grips’ daughters wanted to visit their daddy’s work to meet Megan, but he wouldn’t let them come because he told them “she is not nice.”

The press certainly doesn’t know her most famous line. On our first day in Egypt, the Egyptian government wouldn’t let us shoot because of a permit problem as the actors got ready in make up at the Four Seasons Hotel. Michael tried to make the best of it; he wanted to take the cast and crew on a private tour of the famous Giza pyramids. God hold us witness, Megan said, “I can’t believe Michael is fucking forcing us to go to the fucking pyramids!” I guess this is the “Hitler guy” she is referring to.

So this is the Megan Fox you don’t get to see. Maybe she will learn, but we figure if she can sling insults, then she can take them too. Megan really is a thankless, classless, graceless, and shall we say unfriendly bitch. It’s sad how fame can twist people, and even sadder that young girls look up to her. If only they knew who they’re really looking up to.

But ‘fame’ is fleeting. We, being behind the scenes, seen em’ come and go. Hopefully Michael will have Megatron squish her character in the first ten minutes of Transformers 3. We can tell you that will make the crew happy!

-Loyal Transformers Crew

The crew requested that Michael publish the letter on his personal website, but Bay is a bit more diplomatic than that. Instead, he published a post that reads:

I don’t condone the crew letter to Megan. And I don’t condone Megan’s outlandish quotes. But her crazy quips are part of her crazy charm. The fact of the matter I still love working with her, and I know we still get along. I even expect more crazy quotes from her on Transformers 3.

In other words, she’s making him money and getting him free publicity, so he’ll keep her around for now.

“My temper is ridiculously bad.  I’ve had to say to Brian, ‘You have to go and stop talking to me, because I’m going to kill you. I’m going to stab you with something, please leave.’  I’d never own a gun for that reason.  I wouldn’t shoot to kill. But I would shoot him in the leg, for sure.”

The always charming and stable Megan Fox in a Rolling Stones interview, talking about her on-again boyfriend Brian Austin Green and how she’d like to shoot him.

I’m VERY VERY jealous right now, because my good pal Laremy Legel over at our sister site Film.com is currently at the screening of Jennifer’s Body, and he failed to invite me. (His weak response after my freak-out today: “I didn’t invite you? I thought I did.” NO LAREMY YOU DID NOT.)

I am soooo excited for the Diablo Cody-penned flick that stars Megan Fox as a high-school cheerleader who kills boys and Amanda Seyfried (the eldest daughter on Big Love) as her BFF. And today Laremy sent me a link to the “red band” trailer, which I guess in filmophile speak is the trailer that is NOT suitable for all audiences. It’s even better than the previous trailers I’ve seen for this flick. It’s not embeddable, but you can watch it here. The screen-grab of a naked Megan Fox is above. Don’t say I never do anything nice for you guys.

“God, I really wish I could go loose on this one. He’s like Napoleon and he wants to create this insane, infamous mad-man reputation. He wants to be like Hitler on his sets, and he is. So he’s a nightmare to work for but when you get him away from set, and he’s not in director mode, I kind of really enjoy his personality because he’s so awkward, so hopelessly awkward. He has no social skills at all.”

- Loquacious sputum bag Megan Fox waxes poetic about Transformers director Michael Bay.

As part of her promotional duties for her upcoming film, Jennifer’s Body, in which she plays a hot, evil cheerleader who kills her male classmates, Megan Fox stars in this adorable PSA. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I don’t like horror flicks, but I’m excited for this movie. It feels like it’s going to be just campy enough to be wonderful.

Normally I don’t go for horror flicks, but I think I’ll have to catch the upcoming Megan Fox flick, Jennifer’s Body. Megan plays an evil lesbian cheerleader who kills boys. Amanda Seyfried is trying to stop her. Need I say more? Trailer above.