I’d like to play a little game with you. It’s called “Are the Paps Stupid or has Matthew McConaughey’s Face Melted?”

These photos were labeled by one of our photo services as “New dad to be Matthew McConaughey stays active in Malibu… as the sweaty actor leaves his gym.”

So, did the paps get this one right? Is that reeeeeally Matthew McConaughey, or just some sweaty, bandana-wearin’ bro who kind of looks like him and works out at the same gym?

And if it is him… what the hell happened to Matthew McConaughey?!?

Matthew McConaughey, son Levi and baby mama Camila Alves hit the beaches of Malibu yesterday, and it looks like all three of them kept their shirts on the whole time. What a disappointment. However, between Matthew, Camila, that adorable baby and the dogs, this has to be one of the most darling set of photos I’ve seen of a celebrity family all week.

Matthew McConaughey took to his blog yesterday to wish all seven of his readers a happy Father’s Day.

He also took the opportunity to announce that he and his fiancee Camila Alves are expecting a new addition to their brood.  He didn’t mention how far along she is — we can probably assume that she’s the standard three months along — but this baby will join their son Levi who is eleven months.

Congrats to the happy and extremely attractive family!

There is no better way to start a Friday than with a fierce dose of Bai Ling.  As she joins the ranks of Jessica Biel and Lindsay Lohan as a member of the “Remind Me Again Why You’re Famous” club, let’s enjoy the rest of the marginally famous people who attended last night’s 37th Annual AFI Lifetime Achievement Awards.

A couple observations I’d like to share:  1)  The years and white zinfandel have not been kind to Kathleen Turner.  2)  The years and pills have not been kind to Melanie Griffith. 3)  I think it’s really nice that Christopher Lloyd brought his granddaughter to this event.  Except that’s his date.  4)  I think Matthew McConaughey got some free samples of Sevin Nyne and used them.  All at once.  5)  Catherine Zeta-Jones is hot.  Period.  6)  My life goal remains unfulfilled — just once, I want to see Eric McCormack look genuinely happy and not look like he’s doing me a big flipping favor by appearing on the red carpet.  And still, I wait.

Last night was the Ghosts of Girlfriends Past world premiere.  The basic premise of the movie is that Matthew McConaughey’s character is visited from past girlfriends.  Sigh-did I really even need to tell you that?  And it makes me wonder how good a movie is when you can glean the Christmas Carol-like plot just from the title.

Anyway, in addition to McConaughey and his hot girlfriend Camila Alves appearing, his co-star Jennifer Garner was also there looking post-baby fab.

Michael Douglas and Anne Archer both have roles in this flick.  It’s nice to see those two together again without a bunny boiling in a pot close by.  It also appears that Michael’s transition to being Kirk Douglas is nearly complete at this point.  It’s amazing what happens once you decide to stop coloring your hair.  Five short years ago I thought Michael Douglas was kind of a hot older dude that I wouldn’t mind doing and now I just want him to make me some hot cocoa and tuck me in bed.  Like I said-what a difference.

WHAT A CUTIE!!!

Matthew McConaughey and Camila Alves wrapped little baby Levi up in a white blanket and a beanie and took him along to the MaliBLUE Art & Music Festival benefiting the Surfrider Foundation.

What a ridiculously adorably little family. I’m unspeakably jealous. I want this life. I also want the ginormous, gorgeous ring Camila’s sporting. I WANT THAT TOO.

Camila Alves and Matthew McConaughey looked very much the happy couple at the grand opening of the Malibu Lumber Yard in (of course) Malibu.

Also there: The rarely seen Lacey Chabert (Claudia Salinger!!!), Mena Suvari (who’s ditched the shaved-head look in favor of some long extensions), Rick & Kathy Hilton, Garcelle Beauvais, Holly Robinson Peete, Kelly Carlson and Vanessa Minnillo (sans Nick!).

Hopefully you guys do, because every photo agency in LA followed this chick’s famous ass up and down Zuma Beach on Sunday, as she completed a Malibu triathlon in 2 hours, 23 minutes and 28 seconds.

Matthew McConaughey also completed the tri (yes, there are pics of him too).

To cheer them on were Marc Anthony and Camila Alves (along with little Levi). Marc and Jen look soooo cute here! It’s nice that he’s so supportive. I remember when I ran my first 10K — the Camp Pendleton Mud Run, which I would not recommend for your first 10K — and I’d been training for months, but my boyfriend at the time just stayed home, got really stoned and laughed at me, like, “Wait, you’re actually going to try to do this? You’re going to run six miles? You? Oh, sweetie. That’s cute. I’ll believe it when I see it.” So I ran it on a team with four of my (ultra-athletic) girlfriends who believed in me, and when I thought I was absolutely going to die and couldn’t go another foot, they pushed me ahead and cheered me on and hung back with me and refused to let me quit. Not only did we all finish, we placed toward the top of the female teams in our age range. When I called my boyfriend after to tell him the news he was like, “Seriously? Woah. I thought for sure I’d be hearing from the local hospital before I heard from you.” Grrr. It makes me mad now, years later, just thinking about it.

So it really struck a nerve for me to see Marc there to cheer Jen on, and it’s a good reminder that I’m single these days because I have much higher standards in men now — as I deserve to.

Kay McConaughey has just released a new book titled I Amaze Myself!

And, uh, apparently she talks about how her husband died having sex with her.

“On Monday mornings, he and I often said goodbye by making love,” Kay says exclusively in the latest issue of Us Weekly. “But one day, all of a sudden, it just happened.

“I knew that something was wrong, because I didn’t hear anything from him. Just nothing,” she says. “But it was just the best way to go!”

And when her man couldn’t be revived, she made sure he was taken from the house in the buff.

“I was just so proud to show off my big old Jim McConaughey — and his gift,” she says.

Matthew, I’m sorry for all the times I’ve made fun of you for being weird. You actually turned out just fine considering the circumstances.

Matthew McConaughey and Camila Alves took little Levi for a stroll in Malibu on Thursday.

Dayum, check out Camila’s dress! I mean, check out Camila’s body in Camila’s dress. That kid is like five seconds old and Camila’s already back to looking awesome. I mean, she has a tiny bit of pudge still in her tummy, but, hell, I have that anyway, and all my babies are non-human and thus never lived in my tummy.

And the photo agency says Matty’s carrying gifts for Levi on his head. But whatever. You know he’s just trying to be extra weird for the cameras.

Here’s a first look at Levi Alves McConaughey on the cover of OK! magazine.

OMG!

He looks just like … a baby!!!

I have never understood why these photos go for so much money. You can’t tell a thing about the kid at this age. They all just look like generic tiny babies. You can’t tell who he looks like or if he’s gonna be a hottie or anything. I think pics of the babies at, like, age three should go for more than the newborn shots.

Seriously this video looks like the Sharks and the Jets all over again.

A bunch of teenage surfers caused a scene on a Malibu beach this weekend, when they attacked some paparazzi trying to get photos of Matthew McConaughey surfing. It actually gets pretty brutal toward the end.

I mean, far be it from me to stand up for the paparazzi (I just pay them), but these kids come off as total tools here. They yell at the photogs to “get a real job,” but when a photog asks them what they do for a living, one of the kids responds “I drink beer and party! Woooo!”

Total. Fucking. Douchebags.