It’s not that I’ve ever given you a reason to care about Sophie Monk in the past, other than the fact that she’s the chick Benji Madden was with before Paris Hilton, but we’re going to start caring about her around here, and I’ll tell you why: I’m trying to sleep with Matt Felker. Who’s Matt Felker, you may ask? Why, he’s the hot guy from the Britney Spears “Toxic” video, a longtime crush of mine who is also the producer of Sophie’s upcoming television show, Bigger Than Paris. He would like for me to plug Sophie and the show. Now, normally I would be all like, “Um, my opinion cannot be bought. I don’t much care about Sophie or her show, and I’m not going to start just because you tell me to. This is an independent blog and I say what I want.” And it’s true: my opinion cannot be bought. It can, however, be seduced.

We’d like to add that, if Matt is reading this, we would also enjoy some exclusive shirtless photos of him to go along with the plugs for Sophie Monk’s upcoming television show, Bigger Than Paris. Exclusive shirtless pics would help us to better plug the show. Exclusive shirtless pics and tight pants. We’re just saying.

Here’s Sophie — star of the upcoming television show Bigger Than Paris — promoting Hollywood Fashion Shapes in Sydney.

Rumors has it that Jennifer Aniston’s new man is none other than Matt Felker — the guy from the “Toxic” video, and also Selma Blair’s ex. What is it with Jen and male models?

Also, sources are reporting that Jen dumped John — after the third time he’d cheated on her.

Apparently, Aniston gave Mayer a “three strikes and you’re out” ultimatum — after learning about his “quickie” flings with a cocktail waitress and a promoter’s assistant for his concert tour.

That was two strikes. Another dalliance, with a groupie, was the final straw for Aniston.

Uh, dude?

This is so fucked up.

What the hell are you saying about yourself when you tell your boyfriend, “Sure, you can cheat on me, but only twice.”

I mean, I doubt this is true, but if it is?

So stupid.