Here’s Matt Damon’s face, along with the voices of Michelle Obama, Cindy McCain and Mayor Bloomberg, among others, in a new TV campaign that’ll start running nationally next week.

Thoughts?

Matt Damon’s wife is currently at a Florida hospital preparing to give birth.

Matt has been spotted pacing the halls in scrubs.

The couple currently have a 2-year-old daughter together, and this baby is expected to be a girl, too.

Good luck and congratulations to the happy parents!

Update: The little girl, Gia Zavala, has been born and everyone is doing well! Congrats!

Matt Damon and wife Luciana Barroso hit up up some event for Sony Ericsson in London.

She looks like she might be preggers again.

Update: Dude, I’m so smart. Matt Damon announced this afternoon that Luciana is, in fact, preggo.

Okay, look, I thought he was sober these days. But you have to be pretty fucking high to wear that thing as a straight man.

Bob Downey and his wife Susan had dinner with Matt Damon and his stupid unfamous wife-who-should-have-been-me, Luciana Boring-oso, at Quattro Gastronomia Italiana Restaurant in Miami.

I would not want to eat at that place. “Quattro Gastronomia” sounds like an intestinal disease, not a restaurant. Here it is used in a sentence: I hope Luciana Boring-oso gets quattro gastronomia and has to be hospitalized for the rest of her life, so Matt Damon can be mine.

D’oh!*

The Bourne Ultimatum knocked The Simpsons movie out of the top box office spot with a vengeance, claiming the biggest August opening of all time ever. The film brought in $70.2M this weekend, far better than either of the previous installments of the series. I guess audiences were just dying for a good action flick this weekend.

“The reviews and audiences rated this one the best one yet,” said the head of distribution for Universal Pictures. “Matt Damon is the new James Bond.”

In third place was Disney’s live-action Underdog, which I had never heard of before reading this film, but then again my interactions with anyone under the age of 25 take place awkwardly, briefly, and usually in supermarkets.

Anne Hathaway’s Becoming Jane only took in $1M, but it was only showing on 100 screens, so that’s an impressive per-screen average. It appears there’s still a market for very, very pale girls at the box office. Take note, Paris Hilton.

*How many people who write this article will open with that same line? Would it be easier to do it by the percentage?

I’m inclined to agree with Cord on this one; these folks stopped caring about the plots of these things sometime in early 2002. At this point they’re just kind of like “We are so goddamn hot we could spend 2 hours reciting nursery rhymes and, as long as we’re alternating between wearing Italian suits and nothing at all, people will see this movie, so let’s make it.” Stills for Oceans 13 below.

Britney can’t figure out how to get her car to start and has to ask the paparazzi for help. [X17]

Mary-Kate Olsen’s body is now so malnourished it is unable to sustain the pigmentation in her hair. [Perez Hilton]

Matt Damon thinks the Bush twins ought to serve in Iraq. He and fellow four-star general Robert DeNiro were discussing the war for a segment of Hardball. [Glitterati]

Congratulations to Jillian Barberie! The Good Day LA host is expecting a baby. [Tabloid Whore]

Where has Jennifer Lopez been the past year? Well, aside from her inexplicable attendance at Tom Cruise’s wedding, she’s also been working on a Spanish-language album to be released early next year. Check out a sneak peak of the first single, “Que Hiciste.” [Just Jared]

Music producer J.R. Rotem, 31, fresh off his fling with Britney Spears, shows up at Koi holding hands with Hayden Panettiere, 17. [Dirty Laundry]