Ugh.

Why do people keep giving this grade-A asshole jobs?

I can’t wait until Dustin Diamond releases his Saved by the Bell tell-all. It’s sure to have some juicy tidbits about Mario’s disgusting womanizing ways. He’s a horrible person and I wish he’d stop getting work.

Anyway, looks like ratings at Extra are down, and the network wants to pump them up by firing has-been Mark “15:00″ McGrath and Dayna Devon, and replacing them with Mario Lopez. Who are all these people who love Mario Lopez so much? And why? Everything about him is so disgusting to me, but maybe that’s just because I care about things like the fact that he cheated on his fiancee at his bachelor party, and then proceeded to cheat on every girlfriend he ever had after that. Minor detail, I know, but it’s the little things that get to me. I also dislike invasive surgery, head-on car collisions, and eating food that someone has peed in. You know. Just the little things.

Page Six has an interesting bit today about Diva Mario Lopez and his fellow co-star in Broadway’s A Chorus Line.

Last month, Mario Lopez and co-star Nick Adams clashed when Lopez refused to wear his character Zach’s trademark costume of a long-sleeve tan sweater. As first reported by The Post’s Michael Riedel, Lopez wanted to show off his biceps, so he wore a short-sleeve brown shirt in order to display his “guns.”

Lopez also requested that Adams, who plays assistant choreographer Larry, cover up his navy-blue tank top with a baggy hoodie whenever he danced next to Lopez. When Adams does wear just the tank top, it’s in the show’s opening dance number, where he’s banished to the back of the line and can barely be seen by the audience.

Divalicious!

But now Nick Adams has his revenge: he’s beat Lopez out as the star of a new ad campaign for men’s underwear company 2(x)ist.

“Mario was originally No. 1 on our radar as we planned the campaign,” said an insider. “We were ready to call him with an offer, but then we saw Nick. He’s younger, sexy, more interesting. On top of that, his body was crazy. We set up a meeting, and when he walked in, that was it. We never even looked at anyone else after that.”

And says the company’s creative director:

“Nick’s very masculine, sexy, modern. It’s totally all about his body. Mario is a good-looking guy, but Nick had it. He’s up and coming, the new face of sexy. He’s original. He’s hot.”

Take that, Mario.

I’ve hated you since you cheated on Ali Landry at your bachelor party.

Jailbait Miley Cyrus cuddles up to 34-year-old womanizer Mario Lopez at a taping of America’s Best Dance Crew on the Sony lot.

Run, Miley! Run as fast as your inappropriately dressed legs can take you!

In Beverly Hills today. Longoria will host the awards, which will be presented June 1 in Pasadena. The ALMA ceremony “celebrates artistic excellence through the outstanding achievements of Latinos in motion pictures, television, and music. The program promotes diverse, accurate, and proportional portrayals of Latinos in the American media to a national prime-time television viewing audience in the United States.”

You can find a full list of the nominees here.

Can you believe I got these things up before 10 pm?? GO ME!!!

Jennifer Hudson needs additional media training. [Defamer]

Mario Lopez and Dancing with the Stars partner Katrina Smirnoff are doing the horizontal tango, if you know what I mean. [MollyGood]

Reese Witherspoon(’s breasts) look amazing at the Kennedy Center Honors. [Yeeeah!]

Jen and Vince’s reps join forces to put the final nail in the Vaughniston coffin: “Jennifer and Vince mutually agreed to end their relationship.” The reps admit the two broke up in October, after Jen visited Vince in London. So, you know, right around when the blogosphere said they did. [Dirty Laundry]

Paul Walker has no need for talent. Good thing, too. [Celebrity Smack]

Scarlett Johansson: “Please masturbate to me. I want you to. I need you to. Do it three, four, five times a day. Before bed, in the morning, at the office, at your children’s day care, between rounds of golf, in front of your girlfriend, at your mother’s house, in the boss’s office, in the cafeteria, onto the mashed potatoes, anywhere, everywhere, I don’t care, just as long as you’re masturbating to me.” [Agent Bedhead]

Lance Bass says that he and Reichen are still trying to work things out. He made the statement via MySpace, which is totally Hollywood’s hottest PR agency right now. [ICYDK]

Photos from Johnny Depp’s first wedding in 1983. [popbytes]

Britney Spears and her new extensions score with the Vegas casinos and possibly Mario Lopez. Some other bloggers may refer to Lopez as a star of Saved by the Bell and, more recently, Dancing with the Stars. I will, now and always, refer to him as the jackass who married the Doritos girl and then cheated on her three days after the wedding. Come on, Brit. You can do better. [Faded Youth]

Kimberley Stewart denies having a liver disease, agrees with me that her father crossed the line by a good solid mile. “I love my dad but sometimes he has a big mouth, and not just when he’s singing. I don’t have a liver disease.” [Celebrity Smack]

Why bother getting raped when you can just pay to have sex with Mike Tyson? Heidi Fleiss says she has hired the boxer as an “employee” of her planned Nevada brothel for female clientele. [Tabloid Whore]

I know I give her a hard time, but I’ll be honest: Katharine McPhee looks killer in these recent photo shoots. [Pop on the Pop]

Okay, it’s over. I have been putting off saying this for a really long time — even though I saw it coming — because it’s saddening to me, and it feels like the end of a truly glorious era. But it’s happened, and there’s no more denying it: Pamela Anderson looks old. [Teddy and Moo]

They are remaking Dirty Dancing, and Mario Lopez is on the short list of celebs to star in the Patrick Swayze role, and still I wait, patient and hopeful, for my Lark Voorhies comeback. [ICYDK]

The Anna Nicole saga continues. This week, she’s worried her son is sad in the afterlife, because “he doesn’t know anybody.” [Junkiness]

Courtney Love is finding it hard to get laid in sobriety. [MollyGood]

Check out the first single from AmIdol’s Chris Daughtry, “It’s Not Over.” Honestly, an AmIdol fourth-placer is calling his first single “It’s Not Over.” I can’t even pick a joke. [Tabloid Whore]

The Los Angeles Galaxy wants to sign David Beckham if he doesn’t renew his contract with Real Madrid. [BBC Sport]

Is Nick Lachey planning to propose to Vanessa Minnillo on his birthday this Thursday? For the sake of Friday’s blogging, please let it be so! [Hollyscoop]