I, for one, have had it with these two. 

Eminem has played answering machine tapes of Mariah from when they briefly dated, told a radio station that he pissed on her, and referred to her in his song “Bagpipes from Baghdad.”

See Mariah above, filming the video for her new song “Obsessed.”  Is there any doubt that she’s spoofing Em?

I’m so sick of both of them.

Last week, Wendie wrote about the supposed feud that’s been brewing between Nick Cannon and Eminem over some lyrics in Eminem’s new single “Bagpipes from Baghdad” and a few wet and wild comments he made about Cannon’s wife, Mariah Carey, on his satellite radio show. Cannon had initially posted a blog entry on his website, basically calling Slim Shady out for fisticuffs. But now he’s saying that in spite of his harsh words towards Shady, there is no feud between the two of them.

“I felt like I said what I had to say,” Cannon said. “I didn’t take [the post] down, like, ‘Oh, somebody instructed me to do it’ or anything like that. It was just one of those things, like, I said it.”

As for the real reason he took the post down, Cannon said it had to do with the traffic to his Web site, which “pretty much crashed my site. There’d be thousands and thousands of comments and people couldn’t leave comments on other posts or any of that stuff. So that was the only reason why I took it down.”

And while noted that he doesn’t have any regrets about what he said — “I feel exactly the same way by it and stick by everything, but I think it’s one of those things where it becomes that it’s not really that big of a deal, you know?” — he did say he has no beef with the MC.

“I never even considered it as beef,” he said. “It’s not beef. It’s just, Hey, I heard the record. I said what I had to say.”

So, if it’s not beef, what is it? Tofurkey? I can’t imagine that if some guy says horrible things about your wife in one of his songs and then claims to have pissed on her you would just let that drop.

I mean that literally, of course, as Mariah opted to wear sunglasses — at night — to a boat party in Cannes. She’s obviously saving her actual eyes for her beloved. She and Nick, who’ve been married for over a year now, still looked as lovey-dovey as ever. I find myself rooting for this couple. They do seem to be so in love, and Mariah’s had a long and painful relationship road, and she deserves something good in her life. Nick Cannon is a good guy. I hope these crazy kids make it. I hope they have the common sense not to do a reality TV show about their marriage.

I know that Eminem says he’s sober, but I dunno.

Last month he got things stirred up when he released his new single-an ode to Mariah Carey, whom he briefly dated in 2003- “Bagpipes from Baghdad” which had lyrics that went something like, “Nick Cannon better back the f*** up. I’m not playing, I want her back, you punk. Nick Cannon, you pr**k, I wish you luck with that f***in’ whore.”   You can imagine how much Mr. Mariah Carey liked that.  He’s vowed that there will be “repercussions.”  I think that’s code for, “I’m sending her back to you, Em.”

Eminem must not feel too threatened by Nick Cannon since he isn’t done yet.  While taking calls on his Shade 45 satellite radio station, Em said, “We’re taking callers right now (from) any woman who wants to be peed on.”   When asked what he would say if Mariah called in, he replied, “I already did that.”

So, Mariah, does returning Marshall Mathers’ call six years ago get filed under Biggest Mistake of Your Life, or what?

You know that I love making my little celebridictions around here.  My newest?  Mariah Carey is pregnant.  Sure, these rumors have been milling around about Mariah at fertility clinics and Mariah buying baby furniture and Mariah acting like a moody bitch…oh, wait…

Anyway, my vision is now supported by the photographic and therefore rock-solid evidence of Mariah Carey’s bruised arm.  This is a classic sign of a woman who has been pincushioned by those vampire nurses.  Scoff if you wish, but wait.

Even though I fully plan to take one hundred percent credit when this pregnancy announcement is made, I have to give a shout out to Amanda, who gave me the heads up on the arm action.  I don’t know Amanda personally but she’s obviously someone I need to meet-anyone who spends significant time looking at the inner arms of celebrities?  I call that person “friend.”

At this point, everyone in Hollywood is always pregnant all of the time. I’m so tired of writing about people being supposedly pregnant because they put on a couple of pounds. But here’s the latest:

Mariah Carey is supposedly pregnant with Nick Cannon’s kid, because she canceled plans for a tour. Rumor has it that she’d already hired costume designers and dancers, who were devastated to be laid off in this economy.

Abbie Cornish is rumored to be pregnant with Ryan Phillippe’s kiddo, because she’s put on weight and went home.

Katie Price and Peter Andre are reported to be expecting another … just because.

The gruesome twosome hosted a Halloween Eve bash at at Marquis last night, and looked every bit as much in love as always. It actually makes me really happy to see how happy Mariah seems lately. They even did a costume change midway through. Please make sure to check out the adorable pics of Nick Cannon DJ-ing in his milk carton costume. Loltastic.