Archive for the ‘Madonna’ Category

Madonna Wants To Masturbate Celebrate With You

Tuesday, September 1st, 2009


Here’s the video for Madonna’s song “Celebration”.  Token boy toy dancers?  Check.  Make out with a DJ scene?  Check.  Copious crotch touching?  Check.  Simulated sex acts?  Check.  Covering her rectum as she falls to the floor?  Check.  Enjoy!  Oh, and good morning.

Madonna Takes Kids On Boat Ride

Monday, August 17th, 2009

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Madge put on her best granny bloomers with lace overlay and took the kids out for a boat ride in Portofino, Italy yesterday, in celebration of her 51st birthday.  

Lourdes is looking so grown up and David and Mercy look like they’re adjusting well to their new and exciting lifestyle.  Jesus Luz has completed his primary education and is looking forward to … oh, sorry.  Oops.  Um, Madonna’s boyfriend Jesus Luz was also there.

New Madonna Single!

Thursday, July 30th, 2009


Madonna’s greatest hits album is set to drop on September 29th.  Madge’s “Celebration” will have two new songs, one of which is aptly titled “Celebration”.  Take a listen and let me know what you think.

Oh, and I can’t wait for the video.  Lourdes is debuting in it!

Madonna’s Stage Collapses Killing One

Thursday, July 16th, 2009

This is really sad!  A stage that was being constructed in Marseilles, France collapsed today.  Seven workers were injured and one was killed.  There has been no confirmed word on how the accident happened.  Some reports claim that the roof was two-thirds complete when it became unsteady and collapsed.

Madonna was quick to release a statement:  “I am devastated to have just received this tragic news.  My prayers go out to those who were injured and their families, along with my deepest sympathy to all those affected by this heartbreaking news.”

Sunday’s Marseilles concert has been cancelled.

The Madge Clan Does Paris

Saturday, July 11th, 2009

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The latest stop on Madonna’s tour is Paris, and she’s brought all of her kids along for the ride. Lourdes, Rocco, David and Mercy hit up Montemartre and Cathedral Notre Dame this week … with two nannies and a bodyguard. I guess Madonna was busy prepping for the show. But, damn, Mercy’s been a part of Madonna’s family for less than a month, and that little girl’s already seen more of the world than I have.

Madonna and Family Leave Paris

Friday, July 10th, 2009

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Madonna — and I’m convinced she gave up Botox, because there’s some actual emoting happening — departed the Ritz-Carlton in Paris today with all four of her children in tow.  Her newest, Mercy, is really a very beautiful child.  I feel so bad for David because he’s being raised to be a Yankees fan.  Can we get CPS involved somehow?

Lourdes and Rocco — “The Bios” — brought up the rear.  There will be more jet-setting as Madge continues the European leg of her “Sticky & Sweet” tour.

Madonna Pays Tribute

Monday, July 6th, 2009

Madonna performed last night at o2, the same venue that Michael Jackson was slated to begin playing at on July 13th.  She gave a shout out to the King of Pop as a Michael Jackson moonwalked and yeeeee-haaaa-haaaaed around the stage.  

There must be so much demand for MJ impersonators now.  May you all dust off your gloves and Jheri curl and get to work!

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