Madonna Has Put a Kabbalah Bracelet on Her Goddamn Infant
Monday, October 30th, 2006
Archive for the ‘Madonna’ Category
Weekend Round-Up
Monday, October 30th, 2006Rapper Snoop Dogg is arrested on suspicion of illegal drug and gun possession. At an airport. If he were smart like Paris Hilton, he’d keep his damn weed in his teddy bear when traveling. [CelebSlam]
With a Teen People camera crew following her, Brooke Hogan spends $900 at LF in NYC. After the cameras leave, she sends a flack to return most of it. [Page Six]
Aw, Mischa Barton is crying. That means she’s hungry. [Celebrity Smack]
The extended trailer for the sixth season of 24 is online, so you can have some brand new imagery for your Jack Bauer fantasies. [Tabloid Whore]
Check out side-by-side pictures of Madonna in 1979 and daughter Lourdes this year. My guess is little David will not bear the same resemblance. [WOW Report]
Steve Irwin’s widow is not happy that the guys from South Park are already poking fun at his death. [HGW]
Won’t You Stay for a Link?
Thursday, October 26th, 2006Dude, Naomi, mellow out a little. Light up a joint, cut a line, just relax. Supermodel Campbell is arrested — again — for assault, this time for scratching up the face of her drug counselor. [Staralicious]
A run-down of your favorite TV show theme songs, complete with video clips. You don’t know how wonderful it is to listen to the 90210 theme over and over again until you’ve tried it. [Pajiba]
I think Howard K. Stern paid this woman to file court papers claiming she’s the real mother of Michael Jackson’s children, because she makes Anna Nicole look like Isaac Asimov. [Glitterati]
In case your TiVo malfunctioned, Hollyscoop has a good summary of Madonna’s Oprah interview. [Hollyscoop]
Cute new pics of Madonna adoptee David Ritchie (nee Banda). [Just Jared]
A game of mad libs as played by Rachel Zoe and Wes Anderson, respectively. [The Gilded Moose]
America loves Karen Walker. Megan Mullally? Not so much. [Jossip]
Weekend Round-Up
Monday, October 23rd, 2006
Burkegate trudges forward, with new revelations that Grey’s Anatomy star Isaiah Washington has a history of violence and general on-set assholery. [TMZ]
Madonna will appear on Oprah on Wednesday to defend her kinda-sorta-legal adoption of Malawi orphan David Banda, and, probably, to plug her upcoming adoption. [Hollywood Grind]
Studio 60 is taking a one-week break from mildly amusing a viewership rich and liberal enough to know they should love Aaron Sorkin unconditionally, as NBC “quietly” slips a drama about Texas high-school football into the timeslot. What could possibly go wrong? [Defamer]
If there’s anything Kate Moss and Pete Doherty need right now, it’s a goddamn infant in their care. [MollyGood]
For being a billion years old, Sharon Stone still has some really nice nipples. [Yes But No But Yes]
If you thought I’d gotten all my classlessness out of my system with a Sharon Stone nip-shot, you were wrong. Wanna see up Nicole Richie’s skirt? You only get to laugh condescendingly at me until you click the link. [Faded Youth]
Check out Pink’s new video for her next single, “Nobody Knows.” [Perez Hilton]
Madonna to Adopt Her Three-Year-Old Malawian Twin
Wednesday, October 18th, 2006
In case you weren’t tipped off by the rock-hard body and Kabbalah-inspired name change to “Esther” and on-stage urging of her fans to put a certain cylindrical part of our President’s anatomy in their mouths and apply pressure (hint: it’s not a finger!), Madonna does not half-ass anything. The singer, who has two biological children, and recently adopted a Malawi infant, is coming back for more.
Loathe to let this adoption-related publicity die down, Madonna is already talking about adopting a three-year-old girl from the same Malawi village where she found her last human-interest story. Says Madge: “I looked at this child with questioning dark eyes and the saddest smile. I thought, ‘She looks just like me.’”
Now, I have not seen a picture of this child, but I am going to go out on a limb and guess that there exists not a single three-year-old Malawian orphan who looks — in any way — like Madonna. Also: “questioning dark eyes and the saddest smile?” What? Is it possible we are edging closer to the ultimate Madonna reinvention, at last unveiling the angsty, brooding, piano-heavy Madonna that the gay community is so, so hoping will tour with Tori Amos? Oh, let it be so!
Madonna, Your Order Has Shipped
Tuesday, October 17th, 2006
The totally adorable and pseudo-legally adopted David Banda arrived in the U.K. yesterday. The Ritchies were nowhere to be seen, but Madonna’s publicist says David will join up with them “in the next few days.”
Late-Night Link-o-Rama
Tuesday, October 17th, 2006Apparently Madonna isn’t adopting an African child so much as she’s kinda stealing one. Rule-bending in exchange for cash? In Malawi? [I'm Bringing Blogging Back]
Lindsay Lohan and Keira Knightley are going to hook up. On camera. I’m serious this time. [Pop on the Pop]
And the first interview with Michael Jackson since he left the U.S. in June 2005 goes to…Billy Bush? [Access Hollywood]
After her riveting turn making a whore of Christian Troy (like that’s hard) on Nip/Tuck, Rosie O’Donnell may get her own spin-off. [NY Post]
Today in cost-cutting: Moviefone conducts its Ashton Kutcher interview via IM. [Moviefone]
PR folks everywhere continue to realize that banning Paris Hilton from your event is a surefire way to score some publicity. I’m still totally okay with that, Esquire Show House in Los Angeles. [Hollyscoop]
ScoJo signs a deal to record her first album. The working title is Scarlett Sings Tom Waits, but they’re thinking of changing it to Hipster Masturbation 3000. [Junkiness]
