Geez, ya know, when I was a little kid and my dad wanted to spend some quality time with me, he’d, like, toss me into the car and let me eat chicken wings at Hooters while he watched the game with his buddies.

Brad Pitt?*

Takes his sons to the Venice Film Festival.

It’s clear that I was not loved as a child.

* Question: Should we start calling him Brad Jolie-Pitt? I think yes.

Seriously, this has been, like, an epic event in photojournalism. I swear there are pics of Angie getting this kid from school every single day.

What’s left of Angelina Jolie picked up her son from the Lycee Francais in Manhattan on Wednesday.

I’d also like to point out, Mom, that you can see her black bra through her shirt. So the next time you want to cluck at me for doing the same, I’d just like to say: “Brad Pitt’s girlfriend did it, too.”

Now that the Jolie-Pitts have enrolled their eldest in a ridiculously ritzy school on the Upper East Side — and refuse to have nannies take him to and from — the paparazzi know exactly where they can find these folks, day in and day out.

I do think it’s funny, though, how they go as a couple to pick him up, creating a paparazzi frenzy. I mean, really, guys, would it be all that big a deal to send a nanny in to get him? Or just have one of his teachers bring him out to the tinted-windowed car? Because Maddox Jolie-Pitt — not to mention the rest of his class — is going to have the most twisted idea about what school is. Okay, okay. When your elementary school costs $20K/year, you’re definitely going to have a twisted idea about what school is. But when your walk to and from school is basically the Oscars red carpet minus Joan Rivers? By the time he’s in third grade, Mad’s going to have to start taking a publicist with him to school to tell him which reporters to talk to and remind him who he’s wearing and who did his backpack. Giuliana DePandi’s gonna be all like, “I’m loving your JanSport. We’re really seeing that come back this season.” This kid’s spelling tests are going to run on Page Six. The entire staff of the Post is going to have to learn how to speak elementary French so they can weigh in on his book reports. I’m so excited.

Because Brad Pitt may get old, but photos of this family never, ever will. There have been a ton of photos of Brad, Angie and Maddox wandering around Manhattan lately, but none of the other kids. I wonder where they’re hiding.

Also: Angelina is a toothpick. I mean, she’s really just skin and bones.

I’d been hesitant about it for awhile, but I’m ready to say it now: there’s something really wrong with her. There’s an eating disorder or there’s a drug problem or both. She’s not okay.

Now that we know where Maddox is going to school, we know where to get great photos of Angie and the eldest of her clan.

The Ultimate Mommy picked up little Maddox from the Lycee Francais in Manhattan’s upper east side yesterday, and cameras were there to capture the action.

Look at little Maddox shielding his face from the camera. He’s an old pro already!

Little Maddox, 6, has begun school at the prestigious Lycee Francais de New York on NYC’s Upper East Side. The school costs $18,000 a year, and lessons are taught in French.

Angie and Brad showed up on Tuesday for their tot’s first day of school. “They were just like normal parents,” says a source.

Are the Jolie-Pitts going to settle down in NYC for now? That’s looking to be the case.

After taking little Zahara to a toy store last week, Angelina Jolie put in some quality time with 6-year-old Maddox yesterday, taking him to the Borders in Chicago. Look at her go — teaching the tot the importance of books!! Angelina certainly knows how to score good publicity. Expect a one-on-one outing with Pax later this week, probably to some manner of museum.

[via Celebitchy]