A huge congratulations are in order to Lisa Marie Presley and her husband Michael Lockwood.  Their publicist released a statement today announcing the birth of healthy twin baby girls.  No names were released but they weighed in at 5 pounds 2 ounces and 5 pounds 15 ounces.  That’s a lot of baby!

There is no happier moment in a woman’s life as the moment after she’s given birth.  Sure, it’s great to see your child and all…but pregnancy is hell and birth day signals the end of hell.  There will never be a “next time” for me but if there were, I’d require an epidural at conception.

Her MILF of a mom, Priscilla “62 Fucking Years Old” Presley, accidentally confirmed it to a photog.

You know, when they showed that close-up of LMP in this video, I was like “Lisa Marie? That looks like Britney Spears!”

God, this woman just bores me to death.

But Priscilla?

I love Priscilla. I want to be just like her when I grow up.

These ladies look like they’re gonna bite!

A pregnant Lisa Marie Presley and her mother Priscilla Presley glare at the cameras at the Elvis 68 Comeback Special in Hollywood.

Okay.

Honestly? When I saw the thumbnail of this pic, I thought Priscilla was Riley Keough. She looks about 17 years old. Priscilla is actually 62 years old. I need the phone number of that woman’s plastic surgeon.

Yup, it’s true: Lisa Marie Presley, at the age of 40, is knocked up.

Lisa had eldest daughter Riley when she was just 22 — Riley’s 18 now, and has had a successful career as a model and as Ryan Cabrera’s girlfriend. Lisa’s also got a son, Benjamin, who’s 15. Both those kids came from a previous marriage to Danny Keough.

This time around, the baby daddy is Michael Jackson.

Naw, I’m kidding, you know those two never had sex. On account of her vagina.

The father is Lisa’s current hubby, music producer Michael Lockwood. He’s the guy in the picture above. He’s supposedly 46, but he looks about 17. He looks like that douchebag who wears the top hat to prom. He looks like he’s going to prom.

Anyway, Lisa’s also supposedly got an album coming out in 2008.

Congrats to the happy couple!

At the Marc Bouwer show.

What would you title the Lisa Marie/Jenna Jameson porn flick? Extra points to anyone who works in a Michael Jackson reference.