Lisa Marie Presley, who was married to Michael Jackson for 20 months, has taken to her blog to try and work out the emotions and feelings that she’s grappling with today.  It’s long, but heartfelt.

He Knew.

Years ago Michael and I were having a deep conversation about life in general.

I can’t recall the exact subject matter but he may have been questioning me about the circumstances of my Fathers Death.

At some point he paused, he stared at me very intensely and he stated with an almost calm certainty, “I am afraid that I am going to end up like him, the way he did.”

I promptly tried to deter him from the idea, at which point he just shrugged his shoulders and nodded almost matter of fact as if to let me know, he knew what he knew and that was kind of that.

14 years later   I am sitting here watching on the news an ambulance leaves the driveway of his home, the big gates, the crowds outside the gates, the coverage, the crowds outside the hospital, the Cause of death and what may have led up to it and the memory of this conversation hit me, as did the unstoppable tears.

A predicted ending by him, by loved ones and by me, but what I didn’t predict was how much it was going to hurt when it finally happened.

The person I failed to help is being transferred right now to the LA County Coroners office for his Autopsy.

All of my indifference and detachment that I worked so hard to achieve over the years has just gone into the bowels of hell and right now I am gutted.

I am going to say now what I have never said before because I want the truth out there for once.

Our relationship was not “a sham” as is being reported in the press. It was an unusual relationship yes, where two unusual people who did not live or know a “Normal life” found a connection, perhaps with some suspect timing on his part. Nonetheless, I do believe he loved me as much as he could love anyone and I loved him very much.

I wanted to “save him” I wanted to save him from the inevitable which is what has just happened.

His family and his loved ones also wanted to save him from this as well but didn’t know how and this was 14 years ago. We all worried that this would be the outcome then.

At that time, In trying to save him, I almost lost myself.

He was an incredibly dynamic force and power that was not to be underestimated.

When he used it for something good, It was the best and when he used it for something bad, It was really, REALLY bad.

Mediocrity was not a concept that would even for a second enter Michael Jackson’s being or actions.

I became very ill and emotionally/ spiritually exhausted in my quest to save him from certain self-destructive behavior and from the awful vampires and leeches he would always manage to magnetize around him.

I was in over my head while trying.

I had my children to care for, I had to make a decision.

The hardest decision I have ever had to make, which was to walk away and let his fate have him, even though I desperately loved him and tried to stop or reverse it somehow.

After the Divorce, I spent a few years obsessing about him and what I could have done different, in regret.

Then I spent some angry years at the whole situation.

At some point, I truly became Indifferent, until now.

As I sit here overwhelmed with sadness, reflection and confusion at what was my biggest failure to date, watching on the news almost play by play The exact Scenario I saw happen on August 16th, 1977 happening again right now with Michael (A sight I never wanted to see again) just as he predicted, I am truly, truly gutted.

Any ill experience or words I have felt towards him in the past has just died inside of me along with him.

He was an amazing person and I am lucky to have gotten as close to him as I did and to have had the many experiences and years that we had together.

I desperately hope that he can be relieved from his pain, pressure and turmoil now.

He deserves to be free from all of that and I hope he is in a better place or will be.

I also hope that anyone else who feels they have failed to help him can be set free because he hopefully finally is.

The World is in shock but somehow he knew exactly how his fate would be played out some day more than anyone else knew, and he was right.

I really needed to say this right now, thanks for listening.

~LMP

A huge congratulations are in order to Lisa Marie Presley and her husband Michael Lockwood.  Their publicist released a statement today announcing the birth of healthy twin baby girls.  No names were released but they weighed in at 5 pounds 2 ounces and 5 pounds 15 ounces.  That’s a lot of baby!

There is no happier moment in a woman’s life as the moment after she’s given birth.  Sure, it’s great to see your child and all…but pregnancy is hell and birth day signals the end of hell.  There will never be a “next time” for me but if there were, I’d require an epidural at conception.

Her MILF of a mom, Priscilla “62 Fucking Years Old” Presley, accidentally confirmed it to a photog.

You know, when they showed that close-up of LMP in this video, I was like “Lisa Marie? That looks like Britney Spears!”

God, this woman just bores me to death.

But Priscilla?

I love Priscilla. I want to be just like her when I grow up.

These ladies look like they’re gonna bite!

A pregnant Lisa Marie Presley and her mother Priscilla Presley glare at the cameras at the Elvis 68 Comeback Special in Hollywood.

Okay.

Honestly? When I saw the thumbnail of this pic, I thought Priscilla was Riley Keough. She looks about 17 years old. Priscilla is actually 62 years old. I need the phone number of that woman’s plastic surgeon.

Yup, it’s true: Lisa Marie Presley, at the age of 40, is knocked up.

Lisa had eldest daughter Riley when she was just 22 — Riley’s 18 now, and has had a successful career as a model and as Ryan Cabrera’s girlfriend. Lisa’s also got a son, Benjamin, who’s 15. Both those kids came from a previous marriage to Danny Keough.

This time around, the baby daddy is Michael Jackson.

Naw, I’m kidding, you know those two never had sex. On account of her vagina.

The father is Lisa’s current hubby, music producer Michael Lockwood. He’s the guy in the picture above. He’s supposedly 46, but he looks about 17. He looks like that douchebag who wears the top hat to prom. He looks like he’s going to prom.

Anyway, Lisa’s also supposedly got an album coming out in 2008.

Congrats to the happy couple!

At the Marc Bouwer show.

What would you title the Lisa Marie/Jenna Jameson porn flick? Extra points to anyone who works in a Michael Jackson reference.