In case you were wondering, it seems that there is still something going on with Samantha and Lindsay.  How did I live previous to the incarnation of Twitter?  It’s like having kids; I can’t remember my life “before”.  

So, today Samantha Ronson lamented early bedtimes.  Lindsay — and pay attention because she finally got control of the name Lindsay Lohan on Twitter.  I think she’ll be switching over in the next couple days — replied almost immediately offering herself up.  And this is why I know Lindsay is a drugged up waste right now.  Because there is no edit.  It’s not refreshing honesty like you’d expect from Kate Winslet or even crazy couch-jumping proclamations like we saw with Tom Cruise.  It’s just an outright, cringe-worthy, 140 characters or less pussy proffering for all the world to witness.  It’s probably the biggest reason why I can’t be an actual Lohan hater.  Sure, she’s patchy and unemployed, but also so obviously in need of attention:  I suspect medical and mental.

Lindsay took some time off from her endorsement work for the Kim Zolciak wig company to attend a screening of — can you believe how many screenings there are for this movie? — Inglourious Basterds.  Personally, I think she’s just willing to attend any event that’s paid for by Grey Goose Vodka.  

Beyond the really long poly-hair and the really short skirt, Linds continues to have issues with patchy tanner — If you are an ’80s kid you may remember the two-tone jeans that were light denim on the front of the legs and dark on the back?  LL’s legs are bringing that shit back. — and neon toenails.  I worry for this kid.  I worry.

As a more positive observation, I’m happy to report that her new lips are settling in nicely.

According to Gatecrasher, Brit’s kids have little potty mouths.  Last week, while Brit was stocking up on a bunch of free stuff at an L.A. swag event, the charming little tots Sean and Jayden kept yelling, “Oh shit!”  And you know, the way it’s being reported, Britney didn’t address or even acknowledge their behavior, but people who have toddlers already know this:  Those kids could have been saying anything.  They could have been saying “Open it!” or very possibly “Want grits!” or “Daddy’s fat!”  

The media is so quick to paint Brit as this tuned-out, flake of a mother.  Quite frankly, who cares if the kids are swearing up a storm?  The fact that Britney hung out in a club with Lindsay Lohan last week is about 117 times more concerning.

Lilo doing an “homage” photo shoot in her Calvins. By “homage” I mean that this isn’t for an advertisement, or a promotion, or a magazine article, or for anything in particular. She was just bored.

Is it just me or does being topless make Lindsay Lohan seem even more ridiculous? I’m as straight as the shortest distance between two points, but that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate seeing the occasional picture of a hot woman topless. This, however, does nothing for me. Except I now have this curious desire to donate money to lots and lots of charities.

A pointedly bra-less LiLo did some shopping at the WeHo American Apparel on Monday, trying on their scarves like a Grey Gardens character. Actually, I believe American Apparel calls those sashes. I know because their ad for it says “The Sash” in big letters on the top, and that’s what my college boyfriend used to call me, so I totally love those ads. Also: it was pointed out to me that the girl in those ads looks a lot like me. So whatever. I’ve basically been on Lindsay Lohan at this point. Score.

Hey, guys!  This is video of the Elle U.K. photo shoot in which $400K worth of jewels disappeared.  You get to see Linds in action — not stuffing necklaces in her bag, but modeling — and one thing is evident:  She really likes biting herself.

I thought LL would be more interesting on video rather than the photographs that we usually see of her sitting on Sam Ronson’s doorstep.  I was wrong.

The photographers seemed to think highly of her with the exception of the ridiculous amount of hair tossing.  Still pictures in the gallery of Lohan biting — well, you know …

In case you missed it, La Lohan is blonde. And has been for a few days. Lindsay was spotted leaving Sam’s house yesterday afternoon with her newly deep fried locks cracklin’ in the wind like the hayfields of the Oaklahoma dust bowl. A few moments later, Samro exited carrying an empty pizza box and trying to avoid the paps.

The question I have for you is this: Do you care?