Kelly told us this weekend about how Lindsay Lohan’s house had been burgled … again.  Well, stalker Daddy Lohan is inserting himself into the situation getting involved.

“I am coming into town to work with private investigators in order to gather evidence which will be turned over to LAPD and the detectives assigned to the case,” Lohan told E! News.

“This time, these evildoers will be caught.”

And with Papa Lohan on the case, no one seems to have higher hopes for swift justice than, well, Papa Lohan himself, who apparently is both mad as hell and not gonna take it anymore.

“If we are fortunate, we just might find out who the culprits were from the other thefts as well,” he said.

“My children are not going to be subject to violations of this or any kind any longer. Especially when they always give to others, and it seems some of these very individuals are the ones behind these crimes.

“Dina and I are finished with this nonsense.”

Oh, to be a fly on the wall of the LAPD when Michael Lohan comes bounding into town like a modern-day Zorro, ready to assist in the investigation.  Isn’t Michael Lohan … a felon?  He needs to go back to helping Jon Gosselin get a pilot and stop this charade of trying to appear like he cares about his daughter.

The good news is that I expect his involvement in this to go much the same as when he vowed to have any and all druggies that were around his daughter arrested.  In other words, a whole lot of hot air and absolutely no action.  I just wish Dina and Michael Lohan would bottle up all this passion they have for thwarting evildoers and direct it toward getting their kid healthy.

Lilo returned home from her stint as a guest judge on Project Runway to find that her house had been broken into. Police are currently assembled at the house, but there are no suspects in custody. According to Dina Lohan, “the safe was ripped out of the wall, and the door was off the hinges and door handles removed.”

Lindsay is understandably upset. Dina is helping her pack her things so she can move to a “safer place” immediately.

A few months ago, an attempted burglary was caught on Lilo’s surveilance cameras, but no suspects were arrested in that case either.

In both incidents, Lohan was out of town for an extended period of time.

When Lindsay Lohan absent-mindedly left her cell phone on the counter at a deli in Little Italy, a store clerk kindly ran after her to return it. He knocked on the window of her cab and asked if the phone was hers. When he requested she verify the number on the phone, to make sure that the phone was indeed hers before handing it over, Lindsay attempted to snatch the phone from the guy’s hands, yelling, “I’m calling the police! I’m going to arrest you for not giving me my phone!”

A friend of hers dialed 911, and when the cops showed up, the guy handed the phone over to them. The cops themselves verified the number before giving the phone back to Lindsay.

The clerk commented, “I was just trying to be honest. Now I have police and trouble already,” adding, “Who is she? Is she a star?”

Lindsay Lohan has missed out on her fair share of work over the past couple of years, but even now that she’s supposedly off the drugs, keeping busy with her lady friend and shilling for her own skin oranger (tanning spray, whatever), the girl’s past is still haunting her.

Lohan was recently up for a role in the movie adaptation of the book Undiscovered Gyrl, but the author herself, Allison Burnett, put the brakes on that casting decision saying that Lohan was “too jaded” to play the part of the teen blogger the plot surrounds. She went on to say “(Lohan) is a wonderful actress, but her fame and baggage would only work against her.”

It’s hard to feel bad for Lohan who surely should know that it’s time to buckle down and really clean up if she ever wants to work in this town again, but to be put on blast publicly by those who won’t hire her probably isn’t helping any headway she has made.

In case you were wondering, it seems that there is still something going on with Samantha and Lindsay.  How did I live previous to the incarnation of Twitter?  It’s like having kids; I can’t remember my life “before”.  

So, today Samantha Ronson lamented early bedtimes.  Lindsay — and pay attention because she finally got control of the name Lindsay Lohan on Twitter.  I think she’ll be switching over in the next couple days — replied almost immediately offering herself up.  And this is why I know Lindsay is a drugged up waste right now.  Because there is no edit.  It’s not refreshing honesty like you’d expect from Kate Winslet or even crazy couch-jumping proclamations like we saw with Tom Cruise.  It’s just an outright, cringe-worthy, 140 characters or less pussy proffering for all the world to witness.  It’s probably the biggest reason why I can’t be an actual Lohan hater.  Sure, she’s patchy and unemployed, but also so obviously in need of attention:  I suspect medical and mental.

Lindsay took some time off from her endorsement work for the Kim Zolciak wig company to attend a screening of — can you believe how many screenings there are for this movie? — Inglourious Basterds.  Personally, I think she’s just willing to attend any event that’s paid for by Grey Goose Vodka.  

Beyond the really long poly-hair and the really short skirt, Linds continues to have issues with patchy tanner — If you are an ’80s kid you may remember the two-tone jeans that were light denim on the front of the legs and dark on the back?  LL’s legs are bringing that shit back. — and neon toenails.  I worry for this kid.  I worry.

As a more positive observation, I’m happy to report that her new lips are settling in nicely.

According to Gatecrasher, Brit’s kids have little potty mouths.  Last week, while Brit was stocking up on a bunch of free stuff at an L.A. swag event, the charming little tots Sean and Jayden kept yelling, “Oh shit!”  And you know, the way it’s being reported, Britney didn’t address or even acknowledge their behavior, but people who have toddlers already know this:  Those kids could have been saying anything.  They could have been saying “Open it!” or very possibly “Want grits!” or “Daddy’s fat!”  

The media is so quick to paint Brit as this tuned-out, flake of a mother.  Quite frankly, who cares if the kids are swearing up a storm?  The fact that Britney hung out in a club with Lindsay Lohan last week is about 117 times more concerning.