Playgirl.com launched the first set of photos with Sarah Palin’s daughter’s baby’s daddy Levi Johnston today and while he looks hot in the sample pic on the front page, I ain’t paying no $29.99 to discover the rest of the waist-up shots. You, however, can feel free to take this link and do whatever you’d like with it.A spokesperson for Playgirl says that the rest of the shots should be up within the week, but don’t hold your breath because as he’s already announced, we won’t be seeing Johnston’s Johnson or anything like it.

Ed and I had so much fun making a video for you last week that we decided to do it again this week. And every week until you stop calling me a man and Ed a lesbian in the comments section. In other words: WE’RE HERE TO STAY. Kinda. Unless Sasha fires me. Hey, Sasha. Please don’t do that. I have a chihuahua to feed. Love you, gurl. This week we’re talking about Oprah, Mariah and Levi Johnston’s dick (or lack there of).

BTW, if you want more of me or Ed you can find our Twitters here and here.

Now back to the news…

Last night was the GQ Men Of The Year party and soooo many celebs were there.  Everyone from Kate Bosworth who arrived with her new beau Alexander Skarsgard, to Lindsay Lohan who appeared to have a bungee cord wrapped around her head.

Zach Galifianakis was there (you know he’s my fave) as well as Kim Kardashian, Kobe Bryant and Beet’s girl crush, Olivia Wilde.  Tons of celebs — they’re all in the gallery — shared one thing in common.  They all ignored poor Levi Johnston.  Maybe they didn’t talk to him because they think he’s a sleaze for selling out the Palin family, though I suspect the more likely reason for the snub was that they didn’t recognize him with the full face of makeup.

So, for those of you who didn’t know me before EvilBeet, I’m kinda known to some people as a blogger and some people as a Twitterer and some people as a vlogger. I used to make videos every day but that’s slowed down as I’ve gained a little bit of self control.

Anyway, my best friend Ed and I are always getting together and watching Real Housewives and talking about superficial bullshit we think is funny, so last night we talked about Real Housewives of OC, Levi Johnston (Ed bought a Playgirl subscription just so he could check out the goods) and this horrible man in a Gucci fanny pack that was mean to our friend.

You may think we’re a couple of ridiculous, self-important squares who don’t need to be on camera without make up and talking about this stuff, and you’d be right. But whatever. We do what we want.

And before you start thinking of telling me that my nose looks like a whale’s dick, I’ve already been told that, so go back to the insult well and pull up something slightly more clever.

You’d think that if your daughter’s baby daddy was showing his junk for money in Playgirl and shit-talking you on national television while disclosing family secrets, you probably wouldn’t want to sit around a table with him talking about how moist this year’s turkey is, but that Sarah Palin just won’t be put in a mold!

In an interview with Oprah that’s due to air on November 16th, Palin said she’d be more than happy to have Levi Johnston at her Thanksgiving table. “It’s lovely to think that he would ever even consider such a thing… He is a part of the family and you want to bring him in the fold and kind of under your wing. And he needs that, too, Oprah. I think he needs to know that he is loved and he has the most beautiful child and this can all work out for good.”

It’s pretty clear that Palin’s not under the impression that this would ever happen, but at least publicly she’s pretending that there’s a chance they have a salvageable relationship. “We don’t have to keep going down this road of controversy and drama all the time. We’re not really into the drama. We don’t really like that. We’re more productive. We have other things to concentrate on.” Yeah, like a potential custody battle, rumors of divorce and making sure your book winds up on the best seller list, Sarah.

In Conan’s never-ending attempts to be funny, he did a bit last night that got huge laughs from the audience.  With musical backup, William Shatner did a poetry reading that was purportedly based on Levi Johnston’s Tweets.  Pearls of wisdom such as “Where can I get some weed?” and “What’s with all the taxi drivers that don’t speak English?  Is that a law?” read in Shatner’s dramatic fashion made for an entertaining skit.  Unfortunately, Conan and NBC didn’t do their homework — the Tweets are from a fake, non-verified Levi Johnston Twitter account.  And he’s pissed.

Johnston’s lawyer, Rex Butler is demanding a retraction from NBC, especially in regards to Conan’s disclaimer that the Tweets were “all real … we did not make this up.”  In all honestly, Levi should be angry.  After all, he wouldn’t want people to think that he’s stupid, now would he?

Throughout the Levi Johnston Famewhore Tour ‘09, Sarah Palin has stayed pretty tight lipped about the whole thing. Surprising because Levi has publicly slandered her in all the right places. He went so far as to take his mother and sister to Tyra where they had a “Johnston Family Speaks Out”-type special in which numerous private details about both Palin and her daughter, Bristol. After Levi’s appearance on CBS’ The Early Show this morning, Palin couldn’t keep quiet anymore.

Levi flat-out said in his interview that Palin would refer to her son Trigg, who has Down Syndrome, as “retarded” and then followed that by saying that he has a lot more info that would damage whatever rep she has left. “You know, I mean, if I really wanted to hurt her, I could very easily. But there’s – I’m not gonna do it.”

Obviously a line was crossed over at the Palin camp because a statement was issued this afternoon by Palin who sounds like she’s not messing around, either. “We have purposefully ignored the mean spirited, malicious and untrue attacks on our family,” Palin says in a statement. “We, like many, are appalled at the inflammatory statements being made or implied. Trig is our ‘blessed little angel’ who knows it and is lovingly called that every day of his life.”

With Levi scheduled to shoot Playgirl and plenty of more publicity opportunities on the line, I bet there’s going to be a lot more chances for him to go after the Palin’s. I would suggest that he not do it, but deep down I know that I just want to hear the juicy gossip.