Aw, how sweet.

Lynne Spears and Alec Baldwin aren’t the only Hollywood parents airing their family’s dirty laundry in an upcoming book.

Leighton Meester’s mother is apparently shopping a book about what a train wreck her family was back when Leighton was born.

The book will reportedly tell Connie’s life journey from drug ring co-conspirator to suburban real estate agent to author and, of course, to the rearing of her TV star child.

After an FBI bust in 1985, Connie began serving over a one year sentence at a Federal Prison in Fort Worth, Texas. Her stint was briefly interrupted in April of 1986 when she was released to give birth and nurse Leighton for 12 weeks. Mama Meester ultimately returned to the clink where she served until November of ‘86.

The elder Meester is still looking for a publisher for her opus.

Any takers?

So, Mary-Kate Olsen and Leighton Meester chatted on the phone the night before the New Yorkers for Children charity ball, and Leighton was all like, “I bet I can look more ridiculous than you by putting my small, bra-less tits into a shapeless dress,” and Mary-Kate was all like, “I’ll take that bet, bitch.”

Who won?

You decide.

Gossip Girl’s villainess launches Sunsilk’s “Life Can’t Wait” campaign in New York City.

Because life’s not worth living if your hair doesn’t look good.

Seriously, might as well just kill yourself. Put a gun in your mouth and blow that frizzy, fine hair — along with fragments of your scalp and brain and teeth — against the wall. Because life will just pass you the fuck up if your hair’s not awesome.

Who the fuck thinks this shit up?

Gossip Girl’s resident bitch hits the red carpet at the InStyle Diamond Fashion Show Preview Luncheon.

How cute is she?

It’s an interesting choice for a dress, but I like it.

My hottie girlfriend shows up to support the HELP Group’s 11th Annual Teddy Bear Ball.

I’m not super-happy about the winged eye look on her. It works on some girls, but I just don’t love it for her. I don’t love the dress, either. I think it was my Christmas dress when I was 5. But I still love her.

Anyway, co-stars Leighton Meester and Chace Crawford showed up, too, although Chace was careful not to be photographed alone with Leighton, who he’s reportedly banging after ditching Carrie Underwood.

It looks like Carrie Underwood’s lost yet another dude.

Chace Crawford — the total hottie from Gossip Girl — was spotted sucking face with his co-star, Leighton Meester, who plays Blair. The two were making out at the Beatrice Inn in NYC last week.

Whatever, as long as he keeps his hands off my Blake Lively, this is fine with me.

Okay, so I know I made a big formal announcement that Blake Lively was my new lesbian girl crush, and there was a great deal of hullabaloo surrounding the event, including stern reminders from my mother that my grandfather does, at times, read this blog (Seriously, Mom? Which of us gave him the URL? Fuck that, Mom: which of us taught him how to use a computer? It wasn’t me; I knew better.*), but I think I’ve had a slight change of heart. Or an addition of heart?

I have to say, I am none too impressed with Leighton Meester on Gossip Girl, but when I saw these photos of her with Blake at the launch of Tiffany & Co’s Blue Book Collection, I took a second look at her. She’s adorable. She’s just edible. And I think more highly of her as an actress, too; she’s totally dropped the bitch act in these photos, and seems like a whole different person.

I mean, Blake is still totally my fave, but I’m starting to think that the Serena/Blair one-two punch in the lesbian bedroom of the voice I use to write this blog would be fucking killer. Orgasmic. Bring it on.

*Grandpa, if you are reading this, I just want to state publicly that you are absolutely the coolest, bestest, hippest grandpa a girl could ever ask for, and I don’t worry about writing these things that you may read, because I know you can have a sense of humor about all this, because I got mine from you. Thank you for that.