She’s Two! She’s Two!
Thursday, September 11th, 2008So, yeah, it’s September 11. And I went back and forth about whether to say something about it on here or let it go or what. And I wasn’t going to touch on it, but then I came across this shot of Dannielynn Birkhead on the cover of Us magazine — she just turned two — and it reminded me of what I wrote on September 11 of the first year I had this blog. I’ll reprint it:
I hate September 11. I didn’t sleep well last night, tossing and turning and waking every hour to allow angry thoughts to run circles in my head, a dizzying and infuriating cycle I’ve been caught in every year since. Gawker’s been light-hearted about it all day, and it’s nice to see that and it’s gut-wrenching to see that. I don’t have it in me just yet.
So, frankly, it sucked hardcore to wake up this morning to the news that Anna Nicole Smith’s 20-year-old son Daniel died yesterday in the Bahamas, not 3 days after she gave birth to a healthy baby girl. It felt like I’d been punched in the stomach, a visceral reaction, which isn’t at all commonplace for me in this world of celebrity comings and goings. Maybe it’s because this whole day always feels like one solid suckerpunch. But I always had a fondness for that kid — I remember watching him as a teenager on The Anna Nicole Show, and he came across as strikingly grounded amidst the insanity of his life, aware of the absurdity of it all and able to observe from a distance. To be in it but not of it. I was, just vaguely, interested to see who he’d grow up to be. I’m genuinely sorry that I won’t have that chance, and I’m sorry that Anna won’t, either.
This was all right before Anna Nicole herself died, and the crazy paternity battle and the custody suit and the fucking maelstrom of near-tangible insanity that enveloped this girl during the first months of her life. These events are melded in my mind now: September 11 and the death of Daniel, and the aftermaths of both.
And it’s nice to see, today, that this little girl looks beautiful, and happy, and is being raised by a father who loves her and who really doesn’t whore her out to the media anywhere near as much as he could. I don’t resent him for this. This cover here? This cover will put this girl through college. I think Larry has a decent head on his shoulders, and I’m glad that life seems to be coming together for Dannielynn. I’m glad that Anna Nicole’s life wasn’t an entire tragic washout — that this girl has survived, and landed in a loving home, and is perhaps even thriving.
For me, September 11 hurts less this year than it did two years ago, when I wrote that post. It’ll probably hurt even less next year. Life has a way of putting itself back together, of defying the chaos. I’m looking forward to watching Dannielynn grow up.








