Then I had a chance to talk to Lindsey Vuolo, Playmate Extraordinaire. She was at Kendra’s wedding and they’re close friends, so of course I had to ask her about Kendra’s impending motherhood. I mean, this is a girl who can’t keep her room even remotely clean — how’s she gonna raise a baby? “She is going to be a great mom,” says Lindsey, “because she wants to be a mom. She wanted to be married, she wanted to have a baby. She looks crazy and stupid on TV, but she is really a good person and she has a great family. She’ll learn, like we all do. I mean, it’s a baby, so I think she realizes she needs to be a little more responsible, but she’ll definitely have help. Her mom and her grandmother are fantastic. I wish her the best.”

Here’s Lindsey on the red carpet:

Then I grabbed Housewife Danielle Staub for a photo and interview. I have to admit, she looked really pretty when I first saw her on the carpet and in the club, but the camera flash kind of did away with all that. (I can’t say it did me any favors either). I stood next to her for this photo and I swear her tits are made of rubber. Too funny. But you know what? I kind of thought she was awesome. She’s had scandal after scandal dug up about her — she was a stripper, she abused drugs, she’s been arrested — but she’s kept a positive attitude about it all. “I didn’t know that people would dig up things [when I signed up for the show], but I’m kind of really relived it happened the way it did,” she says. “I kind of wish people would leave my past in the past and let me tell my own story. And I’m about to do that … I’m writing a book.” But as for all the stories from her past — which she’s admitted are true — she says it’s freeing to have that all out there. “It’s almost like taking those tights off at the end of the day.”

Last, I talked to Kelly Bensimon — who divorced photographer Gilles Bensimon in 2007. I didn’t take a photo with Kelly. I didn’t want to be anywhere near a photo with Kelly. She is way too freakishly gorgeous in person. Totally unreal. So of course I had to ask her about her beauty regime. “I use body scrub every day and use a Neutrogena body oil on my skin, keeps my skin really soft,” she told me. “I drink a ton of water. And I sleep a lot. I really don’t drink that much, and I think that’s one of the reasons I look the way that I look. I’m not one of those people who is always on a diet, I just exercise and take care of myself and live a healthy life. I think of the word ‘diet’ as ‘die’ with a ‘t.’” Kelly’s launching a line of costume jewelry, so I asked her about her favorite fashion trend right now. “Shorts,” she says. “Shorts are like the new mini. You can run around and have fun in them but you still feel covered.” Kelly was, of course, looking absolutely stunning in a pair of glittery silver shorts, which I’m sure I never could have afforded, let alone looked good in. But she? Looked fabulous.

Lance Bass walked the red carpet really quickly, didn’t do many interviews, and then spent the rest of the night holed up in the VIP area texting away, Lohan-style. So I didn’t get a chance to talk with him, but I did grab him and make him take a photo with me, and he was really sweet about it, even though I’m pretty sure he was very annoyed with me:

And what would the end of the night be without a crazy non-celeb photo shoot on the red carpet? Yes, of course, my friend Kate and I hopped right on up there and made random people on the street take our photos. The fabulous end result?

All in all? Exactly what an NYC party should be like. We had a blast. And now? I must sleep.

That’s right everyone.  There are now awards for paying common respect to one another.  The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network, the people responsible for this, “recognize individual and corporate leaders who have helped propel GLSEN’s efforts to ensure safe schools for all of America’s students, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity/expression.”  I applaud the agenda and cannot understate its importance.  

Since there are now awards for everything, I want my own “You didn’t run over any old ladies this week” phallic looking award thingy.  I mean, I’m showing respect to the elderly.  I deserve it.

There have been rumors for several months now, but I think Lance Bass has made it official by dragging hottie (married!) trainer Sebastian Leal to Puerto Rico with him for the grand opening of Brother Jimmy’s BBQ in San Juan. Looks like Lance has a new lover boy.

Granted, Sebastian’s been separated from his wife, Jessica Gannon, for years now (and it may well have been a green card marriage, since he was born in Brazil), but still. Scandalicious!!!

As I mentioned earlier, I had the chance to chat last week with Danielle Fishel (aka Topanga Lawrence!), who’s promoting her new show The Dish on the Style network, which premieres this Saturday. The full interview is now up on Film.com (read it here), but here are some excerpts:

Film.com: Katie Holmes has recently been photographed wearing those peg-and-roll jeans, and the LA Times did a piece on how that look is coming back. What’s your take on that?

DF: Awful. Absolutely awful. How do we boycott this? How do we create a rally and say, “We’re not going to take it anymore!” No. I say no. I’m putting my foot down. The real women of the world need to put out a statement saying, “No. We’re not going to accept this. Change to something else. Find a different trend you want us to follow!”

See? Danielle agrees with me!

She also opened up to me about her relationship with Lance Bass, a guy she adores to this day and about whom she has nothing but positive things to say.

Film.com: … You dated Lance Bass before he was openly gay. I just have to ask you: Were you guys sleeping together? What was the physical part of it like for you?

DF: No, we were not sleeping together. We never slept together. I was seventeen. I was a really good girl. I didn’t lose my virginity until much later in life. Lance and I talked about the fact that we weren’t going to sleep together, and his reason was, you know, “I’m always on the road. We don’t get to spend as much time together as we’d like, and this is going to be a really special time in your life. I don’t want to share something that intimate and then take off and leave for a month.” Which, at seventeen years old, I completely respected. We traveled a lot together, once I turned eighteen, and we stayed in the same room, but we never did actually consummate the relationship.

Make sure to read the full interview here — we talk about her hair, her DUI and Tyra Banks — and catch Danielle on The Dish this Saturday.

1) It is, both literally and figuratively, totally gay.

2) When Reichen wakes up one day and realizes that he is not at all a homosexual, I don’t want him to be mad at me.

You can read about it here.

Let’s review all the possible meanings of “pulled a Britney.” Is it:

1) Showed the world his vagina?
2) Fought a car with an umbrella?
3) Shaved his head?
4) Checked in and out of rehab three times while you were asleep?
5) Married Kevin Federline?

No, no, kids, it’s none of the above.

As it turns out, Lance Bass once got hitched in Vegas.

“I’ve been in Vegas where I’ve gotten married for like five minutes, but no one talks about it, though.”

Bass, who was part of the boy band ‘N Sync, says he got hitched in “1999 or 2000,” and the bride was “just a friend.”

“In fact, the only reason we did it is because we wanted to get free drinks all night … and we didn’t get one,” he says. “We’re like, `we just got married,’ and they’re like, `ah, whatever.’”

Oh, and, hey, this little revelation happens to coincide with Lance hyping his new book, the title of which is … oh, God, I can’t even say it. Soooooooooo gay.

It’s not that I’m surprised Lance Bass published a memoir at the ripe old age of 28.

It’s just that he actually went ahead and called it Out of Sync.

Some equally gay but eventually discarded titles Lance considered:

1) N*BUTTS
2) Tearin’ Up My Anus
3) Pop
4) It’s Gonna Be Gay

I guess he settled on Out of Sync.

Soooooo gay.

Anyway, you can buy his book on Amazon now if you wanna.

Well, Britney knew Lance Bass was gay before you did, if you’re retarded and blind. Otherwise, you should have known Lance Bass was gay, like, the first time you saw an interview with him. One of my sorority sisters used to be obsessed with Lance. The mere mention of his name would cause her to go all red in the face and jump up and down. I was like, “Sweetheart, you do realize he is incredibly gay?” but she wasn’t hearing it.

She was Canadian, for what it’s worth.

Anyway:

LANCE Bass came out to Britney Spears before he told many of his other friends he was gay because he felt bad for her – and it was the last time they spoke. In a Q&A with Mickey Rapkin of GQ, Bass related, “It was the night of her first wedding, actually. I was in Vegas with her, her dancers, her manager, and my boyfriend at the time . . . Her manager had already gotten rid of [her first husband] Jason [Alexander] – they’d flown him home. Britney was upset about what she had done. I felt bad for her. I knew she was about to go through a lot of crap. I felt the need to share something. So I sat her on my bed, and I’m like, Well, I’m gay!” Spears was “surprised. I was always the Southern gentleman.” The two don’t talk anymore. Bass said, “I tried. She’s my neighbor in Beverly Hills. She lives next door. I tried to get in touch with her – I wanted to be that friend to help her.”

I think my favorite part of this story is the mental image of Britney’s manager approaching her new husband and being like, “Dude. It’s time for you to go.” And Jason Alexander being like, “Yeah, you’re probably right,” and getting on a plane. Like he’s five years old. Nothing like, “You know, I’m a grown man, and I’m going to stay in Vegas with my new fucking wife.” Nope, just happily getting on a plane because Britney’s manager says so. Love it.

What. The. Fuck?

Lance Bass was on hand to ring the closing bell at the NASDAQ stock exchange on September 11, 2007.

Because nothing says “We’ve recovered from a horrific tragedy of unimaginable proportions” like a gay former boy-bander and failed Cosmonaut.

I think this has something to do with the fact that Bass is currently appearing on Broadway in Hairspray, but still. It’d be nice to have someone like — oh, I don’t know — the President? — to do this.

Okay, okay. Lance Bass wrote a memoir. What is it titled? You have thirty seconds. Go.

If you didn’t guess Out of Sync, you were thinking way too hard. Of course that’s what he titled it. Because, seriously, how much gayer could a title get?

At all of 27 years old, Bass is planning to release a tell-all memoir for release this fall. The book will talk about his experiences with *NSYNC, his training as a Cosmonaut (although he never actually went to space, because MTV, who was supposed to foot the bill, pulled out), his decision to exit the closet in a very public manner, and his then-public relationship with Amazing Race star Reichen Leimkuhl.

I have to admit, although it’s easy to mock Lance for doing this, it’s a hell of lot more respectable than appearing on Dancing with the Stars (isn’t that right, Joey Fatone?). And Chris Kirkpatrick? I don’t think I’ve heard that name since Eminem was rhyming it with “you can get your ass kicked.” So props to you, Lance, and good luck with all this.

Lance and Reichen had a love that could have lasted a lifetime … if it weren’t for some dude from Real World: Denver. [ICYDK]

Mischa and Cisco had a love that could have lasted a lifetime … if it weren’t for that picture of his gigantic testicles that made the Internet rounds. [Cele|bitchy]

Breaking: Angelina Jolie is thin. [The Bosh]

Yeah, okay, so Tori Spelling’s like 20 months pregnant, but is that really any excuse to look like Kirstie Alley? [The Blog You Love to Hate]

Blah blah blah … Ryan O’Neal … blah blah son drunk … blah blah blah pregnant girlfriend battered … blah blah blah … Gloria Allred? Jesus. [TMZ]

Will Nicky Hilton face actual consequences for her participation in her sister’s bigoted video projects? Maybe. You know who won’t face actual consequences? Paris. Ever. [MollyGood]

I’ve resigned myself to the fact that no one is ever going to explain to me why Keeley Hazell is famous. But she sure is hot. [The Blemish]

Candid photos of an Olsen twin putting her mouth on someone else’s body? Never gets old. [CW]

Also in underage antics: Hilary Duff gets wasted at Hyde. [Monica Monroe]

Gideon Yago peaces out at MTV, gives audience waaay too much credit. [IBBB]