Archive for the ‘Kristin Cavallari’ Category

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Brief Interruption

Tuesday, November 7th, 2006

I’m going to interrupt Britney Spears Day, just for a sec, because I’ve just received word that Kristin Cavallari is probably sleeping with Jason Wahler. I know what you’re thinking: “Isn’t that old news?” No, no, LC used to sleep with Jason Wahler, not Kristin. “But, wait, I thought Kristin already slept with LC’s ex.” No, LC already slept with Kristin’s ex, Brody Jenner. “I thought Nicole Richie did that.” She did, too. “Does Stephen Colletti figure in here at all?” No. “Thank God.”
And as long as we’re interrupting:

Check out Faith Hill’s freak-out when Best Female Vocalist went to Carrie Underwood at the CMAs.

Also, the Hiltons and the Olsens are swapping men again.

Posted in Jason Wahler, Kristin Cavallari, Lauren Conrad | No Comments »

So Much to Tell You

Wednesday, October 4th, 2006

Posted in Brandon Davis, Britney Spears, Ivanka Trump, Kristin Cavallari, Lance Armstrong | 3 Comments »

Are You Done Yet, Kristin Cavallari?

Monday, September 18th, 2006

NYC scenesters say that the former Laguna Beacher has been working it hardcore at NYC Fashion Week, showing up everywhere that’ll have her. I hope this signals the decline of the Kristin Cavallari reign, and a possible return to the golden days of the Pax California, where you actually had to be the child of someone famous to get famous for absolutely nothing.

Let’s take a look at what Kristin’s done since her Laguna Beach wrapped in 2005:

  • Dated Brody Jenner (WHO IS BRODY JENNER???)

  • Lost Brody Jenner (WHO IS BRODY JENNER???) to Nicole Richie.

  • Wore obnoxious t-shirt to express her apathy.

  • Started tooling around town with DJ AM, Nicole Richie’s ex. Aforementioned apathy seriously in question.

  • Hosted “Get This Party Started,” a reality series about the devastating impact global warming is having on our planet’s arctic regions, a topic dear to Kristin’s heart. No, I’m kidding, it was about partying, and it was canned after two episodes. Girlfriend, if Tara Reid can’t make that premise work, your amateur ass shouldn’t even be trying.

  • Landed two B-grade movie gigs: Fingerprints, a no-name thriller in which she appears to have a bit part, and Spring Breakdown, a comedy whose IMDB page doesn’t even list a character name for her.

Kristin, sweetie, here’s a tip for you. If you want to stay in the papers, take a look around you. What are all the other famous-for-nothing girls doing? What sells magazines? What do rubber-neckers worldwide love to see on a cover?

That’s right, honey: Anorexia. It’s the obvious next step.

Posted in Kristin Cavallari | 1 Comment »

Kristin Cavalleri Has a Sassy T-Shirt…

Wednesday, August 30th, 2006


…and it is news. Last month, Cavalleri ended her romance with Prince of Malibu Brody Jenner, and since then, Jenner’s been photographed almost daily with Eating Disorder of Malibu Nicole Richie. Cavalleri saves face by courting the photogs in a shirt that says YOU CAN HAVE HIM, which she undoubtedly purchased at Kitson along with her TEAM JOLIE shirt (oh, you would be Team Jolie, wouldn’t you, Kristin? I know you.) According to Us Weekly’s source, Kristin “has had that shirt forever and finally had a reason to wear it.”

Hey Kristin: I have this shirt that says “Asexuality: It’s Not Just for Amoebas Anymore.” If I give you $50, will you put it on and go have lunch at The Ivy?

Posted in Brody Jenner, Kristin Cavallari, Nicole Richie | 4 Comments »

Picking up the Pieces

Tuesday, August 22nd, 2006

Clips day continues. You know it’s a slow news day when you’ve tracked down a clip of Christina Aguilera on Letterman to use on your blog. But after the Federlesion horror you endured in my last post, Ms. Xtina rocking out should be a welcome treat. I love this girl and I love this song.

The “news” I found on the floor of the gas station bathroom this afternoon:

  • Kate Moss, the inarguable Queen of Good Ideas, took it upon herself to plan a wedding to the King of Better Ideas, Pete Doherty. He didn’t show. Johnny Depp pokes his head out from his swimming pool of gazillion dollar bills and critical acclaim to laugh.
  • Osama Bin Laden plays his own sick game of Fuck, Marry, Kill. The choices are Whitney Houston, Bobby Brown, and novelist Kola Boof. Play amongst yourselves first.
  • Jessica Simpson’s new single sucks so hard that she has lowered herself to warring with Kristin Cavalleri at the Teen Choice Awards. Yeah, that’s right, the chick from Laguna Beach. Who Stephen Colletti called a slut. Who is 19 years old. And who probably banged her ex-husband. These are stars that won’t stop rising, kids.

Posted in Christina Aguilera, Evil Clips, Jessica Simpson, Kate Moss, Kristin Cavallari, Pete Doherty, Stephen Colletti | No Comments »

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