Kristin Cavallari celebrated her 21st birthday at LAX in Vegas last night. The photos are on WireImage today.

Can we please talk about how this happened? What has Kristin Cavallari done in, oh, the past three years? Nothing. Nothing at all. So how the hell did she get LAX to host her birthday party and WireImage to be there to photograph?

I need to use her publicist.

Kristin Cavallari, who really has done nothing of note since her turn as a bitchy high schooler on the reality show “Laguna Beach,” is seen here at the Kari Feinstein MTV Movie Awards Style Lounge getting her swag on. I think all this girl does is show up at Hollywood parties and get bags and shoes. She did an episode of Veronica Mars, a failed reality show “Get This Party Started” some indie movie that nobody saw and is set to grace the silver screen in “Spring Breakdown” in 2008.

I am surprised that she keeps getting invited to these things. When does your Laguna fame end? Seriously people.

I make no secret of my adoration for Laguna Beach’s Kristin Cavallari. I think she’s just the coolest, prettiest, bestest girl around, and I sincerely hope one day to be just like her. (Hey, have you noticed that by now almost everyone else from that cast has moved past the Laguna Beach’s epithet? Even Jason Wahler is now, like, “Jason Wahler, from The Hills and jail,” but Kristin’s done nothing of value since. Bongo ads, maybe?)

Any-hoo, Kristin, age, what, 17?, has found a surefire way to make a relationship last: she got the initials of her boyfriend, Nick Zano, tattooed on her wrist. “He wants the other guys who flirt with Kristin to know she’s all his,” said a source who’s seen the tat. When Kristin was asked about it, she “got really giggly and started blushing.” Does Kristin do anything else? Kristin Cavallari is like a Furbie: she does giggly, she does angry, and she does sad, but there’s none of that subtle area in between. And once she’s up and talking, she does not stop.

I look forward to seeing what happens to that tattoo when Nick dumps Kristin for Nicole Richie.

Kevin Federline decides to get his kids away from all the insanity of Hollywood. The obvious destination: Vegas. [Gossip or Truth]

Much to my chagrin, we still care about Kristin Cavallari. [POTP]

Naomi Campbell has been sentenced to floor-sweeping. Kinky. [The Blemish]

Hey, Joel Madden: if you want the paparazzi out of your face, don’t go to Mr. Chow’s with Nicole Richie. Honestly, people. There are restaurants all over Los Angeles. [dlisted]

David Faustino stole a marijuana clinic. Yeah, that’s right. Bud Bundy. And a marijuana clinic. [Cele|bitchy]

Adrianne Curry: still ridiculously hot. You know who’s hitting that? Peter Brady. [Celebslam]

Simon Cowell weighs in on Kellie Pickler’s new … um … shoes. Note that the interviewer here is his girlfriend. [Celebrity Smack]

Booted Idols Leslie Hunt and Alaina Alexander dish on the backstage goings-on. [ICYDK]

Chris Daughtrey manages to do an entire interview with Life magazine without saying “Taylor Hicks who?” I don’t think I would have been that strong. [GTS]

Britney Spears and K-Fed briefly reunite to jointly issue one last depressing statement: they did not make a sex tape. [Agent Bedhead]

Somehow — somehow — Wesley Snipes has managed to compare his tax evasion indictment to rape and accuse the federal government of racism in a single well-advised statement sent via email to a columnist for the Orlando Sentinel. [E! Online]

I still haven’t figured out who this Katie “Jordan” Price person is, but she’s selling her implants on eBay. [Hollyscoop]

Will Smith homeschools his kids, because he knows everything. [Junkiness]

Kristin Cavallari has found someone even less famous than Brody Jenner to date, her Revenge of the Nerds “co-star,” Nick Zano. [Superficial Girls]