“I almost felt like it was unfair for [MTV] to come into our lives at such a young age and sort of mess with things. I don’t regret it, but I was 17 — of course I wanted to be on TV. I felt like they should have been a little bit more careful with us.”

Kristin Cavallari talks to the LA Times with the most useful thing to come out of her mouth since John Mayer’s penis. (What? Sure, he’s a jackass, but from what I hear his penis is very useful.)

As Molls mentioned earlier today, the ubiquitously hated Kristin takes over as the star of The Hills tonight. Unlike Molls, I’m not a Kristin Cavallari fan (and I think she planted those John Mayer rumors herself). That said, I will probably watch The Hills tonight for the first time in years, just to watch Audrina in a huff over whatever dumb, fake shit Kristin does. Because in the battle of annoyingness, Audrina is actually beating Kristin these days in my mind. And plus, have you seen the trailer? (It’s above.)

Something tells me this show’s gonna see killer ratings tonight. And that is going to PISS OFF Miz Lauren Conrad. I can’t wait for her statement about how she’s very happy the show is so successful without her but she’s really sad for Kristin that she has to be such a bitch all the time to stay famous. It’s coming, believe it.

It was just last night that Beet was flummoxed over the possibility that John Mayer and Kristin Cavallari might be sailing into relationship territory.  It appears that Janet Charleton was wrong.  At least, that’s what John Mayer is Tweeting.

As usual, Mayer approached the rumor in his standard, eighth-grade style.  Kristin, you dodged a bullet with this one.

Wow, Beet.  This did feel very Hills-ish.  Can we never do this again?  I suppose a cast-wide site ban would be too much to hope for.

Sigh. I’m just gonna tell you what Janet Charleton told me, and I’m not going to copy-paste it into my text as though I wrote it myself, unlike another, unnamed gossip blogger:

If you read Page Six you might remember a recent blind item they printed about secret trysts between a reality star and a well known singer. We are revealing that pair to be John Mayer and “The Hills” star Kristin Cavallari! They have been hooking up secretly at a mutual friend’s house in the Mt Olympus area of the Hollywood Hills for the past two years! Our source says that Kristin was hesitant to date John publicly because she didn’t want to be added to his long list of conquests, and they were both dating other people off and on. Recently their “friends with benefits” relationship has evolved, and they are actually considering going public.

So, like, love her or hate her, Janet Charleton’s usually right about this shit. Which just leaves my mind boggled. I mean, I almost didn’t do this post, because Kristin Cavallari is closely associated in my mind with The Couple That Shall Not Be Named, and I feel like we should ban her just due to her proximity to them on any sort of Hollywood Douchebaggery graph (the x-axis is “Time Spent on an MTV Reality Show” and the y-axis is “dignity”). But I’m letting her slide, for now, because I’m fascinated by the idea that John Mayer really would stoop so low as to date Kristin Cavallari. The sex I understand … but a relationship? Sometimes I think this kid just looks for relationships that will eventually make good songs.

Oh, and it’s especially interesting as it comes on the heels of Jennifer Aniston once again raging against the “lonely girl” epithet that’s been attached to her name with the force of the Hellenic army. Because if these numbers are right, Kristin was in the picture at the same time she was. Sa-weeeeet!

Kristin played around on the beach while filming an upcoming episode of The Hills. As is usually the case with “stars” of The Hills, I found myself wondering aloud why she’s famous. But I think if you have abs like that, you are required to be famous. Otherwise, it just wouldn’t be fair to all us normal, non-famous, schlubs with normal, non-famous squishy mid-sections.

We deeply examine a lot of critical social issues around here such as Prop 8, major elections, and the Duff sisters latest plastic surgery procedures.  So, today I’d like to lighten things up a bit.

With that mindset in place, I ask you, what’s worse?  Kristin Cavallari in this dress, or…

Heather Graham in this dress?

How much do you think Kristin Cavallari had to pay the paparazzi to photograph her getting off her flight in Miami today?

Or were they already at the airport to wait for someone else?

She probably spent the last hour of the flight perfecting that rumpled, just-got-off-an-airplane look.

It looks like that’s the case.

In a new interview with Us Weekly, Spencer says that “Kristin made it all happen. She said to me, ‘I know this girl who’s so hot and perfect for you!’”

My God, it’s a giant plot to ruin Lauren Conrad’s life.

I still love you, Lauren!!!!

Heidi also goes on and on about how she and Spencer are having “ups and downs,” ostensibly because he “cheated” on her, although she adds that “Spencer and I may differ on what it means to cheat.” Heh. Spencer probably gave a radio interview without Heidi there or something awful like that. You know this girl cares way more about famewhoring than she does about any dude.

Kristin Cavallari celebrated her 21st birthday at LAX in Vegas last night. The photos are on WireImage today.

Can we please talk about how this happened? What has Kristin Cavallari done in, oh, the past three years? Nothing. Nothing at all. So how the hell did she get LAX to host her birthday party and WireImage to be there to photograph?

I need to use her publicist.

Kristin Cavallari, who really has done nothing of note since her turn as a bitchy high schooler on the reality show “Laguna Beach,” is seen here at the Kari Feinstein MTV Movie Awards Style Lounge getting her swag on. I think all this girl does is show up at Hollywood parties and get bags and shoes. She did an episode of Veronica Mars, a failed reality show “Get This Party Started” some indie movie that nobody saw and is set to grace the silver screen in “Spring Breakdown” in 2008.

I am surprised that she keeps getting invited to these things. When does your Laguna fame end? Seriously people.

I make no secret of my adoration for Laguna Beach’s Kristin Cavallari. I think she’s just the coolest, prettiest, bestest girl around, and I sincerely hope one day to be just like her. (Hey, have you noticed that by now almost everyone else from that cast has moved past the Laguna Beach’s epithet? Even Jason Wahler is now, like, “Jason Wahler, from The Hills and jail,” but Kristin’s done nothing of value since. Bongo ads, maybe?)

Any-hoo, Kristin, age, what, 17?, has found a surefire way to make a relationship last: she got the initials of her boyfriend, Nick Zano, tattooed on her wrist. “He wants the other guys who flirt with Kristin to know she’s all his,” said a source who’s seen the tat. When Kristin was asked about it, she “got really giggly and started blushing.” Does Kristin do anything else? Kristin Cavallari is like a Furbie: she does giggly, she does angry, and she does sad, but there’s none of that subtle area in between. And once she’s up and talking, she does not stop.

I look forward to seeing what happens to that tattoo when Nick dumps Kristin for Nicole Richie.

Much to my chagrin, we still care about Kristin Cavallari. [POTP]

Naomi Campbell has been sentenced to floor-sweeping. Kinky. [The Blemish]

Hey, Joel Madden: if you want the paparazzi out of your face, don’t go to Mr. Chow’s with Nicole Richie. Honestly, people. There are restaurants all over Los Angeles. [dlisted]

David Faustino stole a marijuana clinic. Yeah, that’s right. Bud Bundy. And a marijuana clinic. [Cele|bitchy]

Adrianne Curry: still ridiculously hot. You know who’s hitting that? Peter Brady. [Celebslam]

Simon Cowell weighs in on Kellie Pickler’s new … um … shoes. Note that the interviewer here is his girlfriend. [Celebrity Smack]

Booted Idols Leslie Hunt and Alaina Alexander dish on the backstage goings-on. [ICYDK]

Chris Daughtrey manages to do an entire interview with Life magazine without saying “Taylor Hicks who?” I don’t think I would have been that strong. [GTS]