I think I smell another C-list feud.

Kelly Osbourne and Kim Stewart were set to do a reality show together on E! next season. It was supposed to be a Simple Life replacement, except with less famous and less interesting people. Unsurprisingly, “the network just wasn’t into Kelly and Kimberly’s show.” Instead, it looks like they’ll be the mystery network airing the Kim Kardashian reality show I mentioned last week, which co-stars her gazillion brothers and sisters, including Brody Jenner, who has to win some sort of award for reality shows based loosely around his life (Princes of Malibu, The Hills and now this … even Lauren Conrad can’t top that). Poor Kim Stewart’s tried forever to get on reality TV … she was trying to be the Nicole Richie replacement on The Simple Life during the Paris/Nicole feud, but the network was like, “Um, it turns out that you’re not very interesting when you’re not toppling off motorcycles on red carpets, so no.” I guess she’s just not destined for reality TV stardom.

With The Simple Life coming to a permanent close, where are we going to get our doses of celebretard antics? Besides, you know, on all the gossip blogs?

Look no further than Kim Kardashian! Kim, her siblings and her step-siblings — including famewhore Brody Jenner — are slated to do a Brady Bunch-style show for an unnamed network (meaning it probably hasn’t been officially picked up yet — or she doesn’t want to admit that it’s VH1).

“We’re all so different,” says Kim about the show. “Khloe’s, like, hysterical and says these ridiculous things. Kourtney is such a bitch. I’m in between. Brody’s so wild. The two little ones are adorable…It’s just such a good mix.”

I give it four episodes.

Ring, ring!
Brody Jenner: Hi, Kim.
Kim Kardashian: Hi, Brody.
BJ: Gee, Kim, I sure do wish I was more famous than I am. I had that one TV show that lasted three episodes, and then I was banging Nicole Richie, and then Lauren Conrad, and now I’m just plumb out of ideas.
KK: I have the same problem.
BJ: Any suggestions?
KK: You could pee on Lauren Conrad and tape it. That works well.
BJ: That’s a really good idea, but I don’t know if Lauren would go for it.
KK: You could get a DUI or get arrested for doing something totally retarded while you’re drunk.
BJ: Yeah, but that’s so Jason Wahler. I don’t want to look like a copycat.
KK: I guess you could try feuding with someone. Spencer Pratt maybe?
BJ: See, we did that earlier in the week, and it might have been a big deal at a different time, but Lindsay Lohan got that DUI. So we blew that load for nothing.
KK: That sucks. Paris and Nicole got mileage out of that shit for like two years.
BJ: I know. It’s not fair.
KK: I’ll tell you what: I’m marginally famous for nothing. So are you. What if we showed up somewhere together? That would get some publicity for sure.
BJ: Oooh, I like that idea!
KK: Awesome. You like sushi?
BJ: Totally.

At Koi last night.

Update: I forgot these two are step-siblings. Which will make it even better publicity for them when they start dating. Thanks Anna!

When this bitch isn’t getting literally pissed on, she’s figuratively pissing on other people’s graves. From Page Six:

Kim Kardashian just loves to get naked for the cameras. The voluptuous daughter of O.J. Simpson lawyer Robert Kardashian recently stripped down for Playboy. “The photos have been already shot. I don’t know if they show everything,” a source tells us. Presumably, the snaps won’t show as much as the notorious sex tape Kardashian made with rapper Ray J. Meanwhile, Kim was partying Saturday with Denise Richards at the Playboy Mansion at a benefit for the Nicole Brown Foundation.

Who cares about Playboy. What I want to talk about it why the hell Kim thought it was in any way appropriate for her to attend anything with Nicole Brown’s name on it. For those of you who don’t remember who Kim was before she was the chick with the ass who was partying with Paris — she’s Robert Kardashian’s daughter. That’s right, she’s the daughter of the dude who got OJ Simpson off for the murder of Nicole Brown. Really, Kim? You can’t think of anywhere better to be on a Saturday night? And who the hell invited her to this thing, anyway?

Kim Kardashian leaving Koi yesterday.

Photo credit: BuzzFoto

Ah, the transfer of power in Hollywood. First Paris Hilton helped make Kim Kardashian a celebrity in her own right. Now Kim is paying it forward, dragging Gastineau Girls never-was Brittny Gastineau onto the red carpet and back into the public eye. We saw the two brunettes together at The N’s 5-year anniversary party earlier this week, and Wednesday night they showed up together at Lorraine Schwartz Monkey Collection launch in NYC. Because with Paris in the slammer, Lindsay in rehab, and Britney being boring, I have no choice but to write about what Kim Kardashian is doing. Look, folks, I don’t like it any more than you do, but you have to admire their timing.

Also, guys, I may be developing a tiny crush on Brittny. Mostly because I like the way she spells her name. Maybe I’d like Kim better if she spelled it, like, Khimmnm. Oh, yeah. Fuck that’s hot.

Jennifer Lopez was there, too, in a super cute outfit, but she’s old now and I don’t care about her.

With Calum Best at the Maxim Hot 100 party in NYC.

Kim Kardashian was there, too, along with Kim Kardashian’s breasts, Brian Austin Green (they grow up so fast) and Kathy Griffin.