It’s called “Keeping up with the Kardashians” and it premieres October 14 on E!

The series is, I suppose, about Kim and her less-attractive sisters. Yup, Kimmy totally swam on the right side of that gene pool.

The premiere party was held Tuesday night at the Pacific Design Center in LA.

Bruce Jenner was there, along with Kim’s BFF Brittny Gastineau, but Brody Jenner was conspicuously absent. In fact, it doesn’t look like he’s really a part of the show. Hmmm. I wonder why that is. I can’t believe a famewhore like Brody would voluntarily turn it down.

For the occasion, Kim decided to take a break from her typical hooker clothes. Instead, she dressed like a hooker … in the 1940s.

Thanks for keeping it fresh, Kimmy!

From Page Six:

BOOTYLICIOUS Kim Kardashian has a new man. The beauty has been out on the town with hunky actor Terrence Howard, who is separated from his wife of 14 years. A spy spotted the star of the new E! reality show, “Keeping Up With the Kardashians,” arriving and “making out” with Howard at Tenjune and then Butter last week. “They were all over each other,” snitched the onlooker. “She was sitting on his lap and he was rubbing her butt.” A rep for Howard declined to comment.

Separated from his wife of 14 years? Someone’s taking moves straight outta the Paris Hilton playbook.

BTW, Terrence Howard plays the male lead in the new Jodie Foster film, The Brave One, which I saw last night and found to be terribly disappointing. It just didn’t work on so many levels, which is sad, because I was really excited for it. Oh well. Anyone else see it and feel differently?

I can’t really blame him. Her lips do look a lot like a vagina these days.

Seriously it looks like someone ate this girl’s whole face and then spit it back out onto her head.

Homegirl looks worked.

Backstage at the Heatherette show.

“Everyone now says I have a fake butt or butt implant. I’m Armenian; you should see all the women in my family. The women have bigger breasts and bigger butts. That’s how I was born. I can’t help it. I’m not gonna fight it. I definitely need to work out more and tone up, but I’m proud of my body … [but] I’m not against [plastic surgery].”

Kim Kardashian, to King magazine

I think I smell another C-list feud.

Kelly Osbourne and Kim Stewart were set to do a reality show together on E! next season. It was supposed to be a Simple Life replacement, except with less famous and less interesting people. Unsurprisingly, “the network just wasn’t into Kelly and Kimberly’s show.” Instead, it looks like they’ll be the mystery network airing the Kim Kardashian reality show I mentioned last week, which co-stars her gazillion brothers and sisters, including Brody Jenner, who has to win some sort of award for reality shows based loosely around his life (Princes of Malibu, The Hills and now this … even Lauren Conrad can’t top that). Poor Kim Stewart’s tried forever to get on reality TV … she was trying to be the Nicole Richie replacement on The Simple Life during the Paris/Nicole feud, but the network was like, “Um, it turns out that you’re not very interesting when you’re not toppling off motorcycles on red carpets, so no.” I guess she’s just not destined for reality TV stardom.

With The Simple Life coming to a permanent close, where are we going to get our doses of celebretard antics? Besides, you know, on all the gossip blogs?

Look no further than Kim Kardashian! Kim, her siblings and her step-siblings — including famewhore Brody Jenner — are slated to do a Brady Bunch-style show for an unnamed network (meaning it probably hasn’t been officially picked up yet — or she doesn’t want to admit that it’s VH1).

“We’re all so different,” says Kim about the show. “Khloe’s, like, hysterical and says these ridiculous things. Kourtney is such a bitch. I’m in between. Brody’s so wild. The two little ones are adorable…It’s just such a good mix.”

I give it four episodes.

Ring, ring!
Brody Jenner: Hi, Kim.
Kim Kardashian: Hi, Brody.
BJ: Gee, Kim, I sure do wish I was more famous than I am. I had that one TV show that lasted three episodes, and then I was banging Nicole Richie, and then Lauren Conrad, and now I’m just plumb out of ideas.
KK: I have the same problem.
BJ: Any suggestions?
KK: You could pee on Lauren Conrad and tape it. That works well.
BJ: That’s a really good idea, but I don’t know if Lauren would go for it.
KK: You could get a DUI or get arrested for doing something totally retarded while you’re drunk.
BJ: Yeah, but that’s so Jason Wahler. I don’t want to look like a copycat.
KK: I guess you could try feuding with someone. Spencer Pratt maybe?
BJ: See, we did that earlier in the week, and it might have been a big deal at a different time, but Lindsay Lohan got that DUI. So we blew that load for nothing.
KK: That sucks. Paris and Nicole got mileage out of that shit for like two years.
BJ: I know. It’s not fair.
KK: I’ll tell you what: I’m marginally famous for nothing. So are you. What if we showed up somewhere together? That would get some publicity for sure.
BJ: Oooh, I like that idea!
KK: Awesome. You like sushi?
BJ: Totally.

At Koi last night.

Update: I forgot these two are step-siblings. Which will make it even better publicity for them when they start dating. Thanks Anna!

When this bitch isn’t getting literally pissed on, she’s figuratively pissing on other people’s graves. From Page Six:

Kim Kardashian just loves to get naked for the cameras. The voluptuous daughter of O.J. Simpson lawyer Robert Kardashian recently stripped down for Playboy. “The photos have been already shot. I don’t know if they show everything,” a source tells us. Presumably, the snaps won’t show as much as the notorious sex tape Kardashian made with rapper Ray J. Meanwhile, Kim was partying Saturday with Denise Richards at the Playboy Mansion at a benefit for the Nicole Brown Foundation.

Who cares about Playboy. What I want to talk about it why the hell Kim thought it was in any way appropriate for her to attend anything with Nicole Brown’s name on it. For those of you who don’t remember who Kim was before she was the chick with the ass who was partying with Paris — she’s Robert Kardashian’s daughter. That’s right, she’s the daughter of the dude who got OJ Simpson off for the murder of Nicole Brown. Really, Kim? You can’t think of anywhere better to be on a Saturday night? And who the hell invited her to this thing, anyway?