Super serious and very important business woman Kim Kardashian can’t help but laugh at Star Magazine’s accusations that she got her lips and nose reduced by a size and took to her blog to say  that the whole thing is a crock. “Why would someone want smaller lips?! LOL” I wonder if she really L’d OL or if she was just saying she was L-ingOL. Man, that’s going to bug me all day.

Kim claims that the before and after pictures chosen by the rag were ones from before and after a 20-pound weight loss, so obviously her face (and the rest of her) are going to look differently. “Your face always looks different when you lose weight, plus with the contouring on my nose it gives the illusion of a thinner nose. I actually think my nose looks smaller in the first pic than it does in the second. It’s ridiculous… it’s all about the makeup and the angle from which the photo was taken!” This woman is a genius! Genius I tell you!

I’m all for plastic surgery rumors, hell, they are what keep me in business, but I have to say for once that I side with the moron with the large butt. How desperate do you have to be to take two photos that were taken months apart and in different lighting and compare them to make a story? There are much more obvious offenders than KK out there and I could read about 100 more stories on Nicole Kidman’s Frankenface before I read any more bull about what’s obviously a good make up job.

Beside, if Kim was really going to go under the knife, wouldn’t there be a “very special Keeping Up With the Kardashians” two-parter? I’m thinking there would be. These dolls can barely take a dump without having the whole thing filmed.

Kim Kardashian would like you to know that she is ready to rip the face off of the industry with her endless talent, business know-how and moxie. You may know her from getting boned and owned by Brandy’s little brother in a sex tape, her childish reality TV antics or her mediumishly-high profile relationship with Reggie Bush, but if she has her way, she’s going to be the next Donald Trump!

Kardashian speaks to all of this in an interview with Cosmopolitan that’s on newsstands now, saying  ”I’m an entrepreneur. ‘Ambitious’ is my middle name.” However, she’s the first to admit that all of her “ambition” wasn’t focused on the right things in the past, namely her romantic relationships. ”A lot of work goes into relationships. Right now, I’m figuring it out.”

Well, whenever she’s done doing that math, we all better watch out, because Kimberly “Ambitious” Kardashian is about to take the world by storm with her lines of lingerie or perfume or hair extensions or whatever these famous broads cook up and pass off as a business. Check yourself, Barry Diller. K.A.K. is coming for you full speed.

You know what I’ve noticed about Kim Kardashian?  She has an adept way of saying really bitchy things in that sweet, simply little voice of hers so that you don’t readily realize just what a whorebag she’s being.  If she lived in the south, she’d be the one who follows up every verbal slam with a “bless your heart.”  For example, her most recent statement about her pregnant sister, Kourtney:

“She’s huge. She is huuuuge!  I think she’s in denial of buying maternity clothes, because she just borrows Khloe’s clothes.”

See what I mean?  She knocked out two sisters with that little gem.  Of course, only seconds later, the backpedal.  When she said that Khloe’s clothes were “huuuuuge!” she really meant “taaaaaaaaal!”

“Khloé is going to kill me for saying that, but it’s really because Khloé is so much taller. Kourtney will take Khloé’s top and wear it as a dress…She will not buy maternity clothes. I don’t know what’s wrong with her.”

The other day I reported about how Kourtney Kardashian got pregnant by forgetting to take her birth control pill.  And I voiced concern, because if you can’t remember to take one pill a day to avoid creating a human, you probably are going to have a bit of trouble actually raising a human.

Well today’s revelation — we should just expect these daily media announcements from now until the kid graduates college — was about how she told her sister and mom that she was expecting.  Reminder:  Kourtney Kardashian is 30-years-old.

“It was so hard for me to tell Kim and my mom,” Kourtney tells PEOPLE. “Khloe and I called Kim on speakerphone, and I made Khloe tell her. I think Kim thought we were lying! Kim was excited, but I feel like her first reaction was like, ‘Why? What are you doing?’ It was really just shock. Especially since we are so extremely close, anything that happens in our family is earth-shattering to us. But she was excited. She just wanted to make sure that I had thought this through.”

Kourtney waited until she returned home to Los Angeles to break the news to her mom, Kris. “I was scared,” Kourtney admits. 

 

So with Khloe at her side, Kourtney says she told Kris, “Okay, we have to tell you something. It’s serious.” Khloe then broke the news to Jenner, who’s initial reaction was a mix of shock and joy. “It took her a minute to digest it,” says Kourtney. “She didn’t even know Scott was around since we broken up, so was like ‘Scott, who?’ “ 

Since then, though, Kourtney says her mom and Disick get along, and any issues they had are a thing of the past. 

Kourtney has some serious growing up to do which will probably happen right about the time that a seven-pound terror passes through her pelvis and she can’t get her sister to handle the pain for her.

In other Kardashian news, Kim was seen dining with Reggie Bush at a Ruth Chris steakhouse Monday night.  So maybe those two are back “on” again.  Oh, I can only hope.

For your analysis, here is a picture of Kim Kardashian on Sunday night at PURE nightclub.  They look happy, right?  Then, why on Monday did they announce their split?

The pair, who recently returned from a charity trip to Africa with Kardashian’s sister Khloe, just last May talked about “heading” toward marriage, but sources tell PEOPLE their relationship suffered from the time they spent apart – with yet another separation looming with the upcoming NFL season. 

“They never get to see each other, ever,” the source says. “It’s been a long time coming. They still love each other and are part of their lives, but Reggie spends six months out of the year in New Orleans, so it’s tough.” 

I don’t know.  This looks like they had a, “Baby, I’ve got somethin’ to tell you” conversation after the nightclub appearance.  Kim’s rep confirmed the split, so I think either a)  she got dumped or b)  he admitted to cheating on her.

Pictures in the gallery of the couple at several events over the past couple weeks, displaying some interesting body language.

Hey kids! So, I’m in NYC right now, having a blast and chasing down stories. I attended a party tonight for 3 Olives and the launch of their new bubblegum-flavored vodka. I didn’t try it, but the verdict was that it was “weird but good.” Go figure. Or just go buy a bottle.

Kim Kardashian was hosting the event, so I got a chance to speak with her. We talked about Paris Jackson’s moving speech at her father’s memorial (you can view it here) and Kim weighed in with some of her own experience. “I spoke at my father’s funeral,” she said, referring to the late Robert Kardashian, “and that was the hardest thing I had to do, and I was 22, and she’s only 11. I just thought it was really brave of her. But it was really something she wanted to do. She wasn’t scheduled to talk, but you could very much see that day that she wanted to say something to all the people. She was standing on the side saying she wanted to speak. I was so glad that I spoke at my father’s funeral, even though I was really nervous and thought I couldn’t do it, but that one opportunity to speak your mind is so important, and she lived in the moment.”

So what’s up next for Kim?

“I’m producing my own shows,” she says. “I think that’s the next step for me, getting in the background and producing. I love the whole process of making a show, creating a show and seeing it come to life. There’s a competition-type show, a reality show, there’s a few that I have in the works.”

I really wanted to show you guys what a red carpet looks like from a reporter’s perspective. These things are INSANE. So I took video of Kim & Khloe doing the carpet. The audio is relatively quiet in the video, but in person it’s just deafening screams coming from every direction yelling at every person about everything. It’s a total madhouse. Every time I see one of things things in person it just blows me away. That said, all the reporters and photographers on the carpet got along really well this time, and I met some fantastic folks from People, Star, Life & Style and E!, all of whom were covering the event as well. I made friends! And we all sat there and made fun of the celebs when we weren’t talking to them. I have found my people.

Poor Lady Gaga’s chest exploded whilst performing at the 20th Annual MuchMusic Video Awards in Toronto, Canada.

Also there was Audrina Patridge in a cheap and ill-fitting dress, my fiance Bradley Cooper and the pure Jonas Brothers.  Oh, and I’m totally willing to support Kelly Clarkson in this whole body-acceptance thing she’s got going on, but there must be compromise.  No.  More.  Scarf.  Tops.

Rumer Willis appeared with her chin and Tila Tequila was positively stumped over the one-button operation of the Flip Mino HD camera.

Finally, in an admirable effort of frugality, Kim Kardashian fashioned her dress out of one of the extra costumes used by Fergie’s backup dancers.

Kim Kardashian sported a new look as she participated in a photo shoot for my all-time favorite magazine, O. 

Ken Paves, the ridiculous stylist responsible for Jessica Simpson’s Texas hair as well as the sale of clip-on hair extensions,  styled Kim’s wig for the shoot. 

What do we think of Kim with short hair?  Her natural hair is so beautiful — not so sure what I think of this helmet of hair.

On the tail of things not workingout too well for Christina Ricci, comes news that Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush are newly engaged. 

Kim was talking earlier this month about picking out her own ring.  “It’s just easier.  Isn’t it easy if someone’s like, ‘This is exactly what I want.’ It’ll make your life so easy.”  Now, some people are dead-set against knowing what their engagement ring looks like ahead of time, but my theory is this:  Kim’s going to have this ring on her hand for the next three to five years of her life.  Shouldn’t she have one that she really likes?

Now that Kim has officially hooked her boyfriend of the past two years, it’s time for her to get her butt moving and start shopping for a size two wedding dress.  Heh.

Kim Kardashian has been flapping her gums, this time about her step-dad Bruce Jenner.  I’m sure you’ll find this practically unbelievable but twenty-five years ago, Bruce Jenner had a face-lift and nose job.  I just thought he always looked like the scarecrow from The Wizard of Oz, but no.  His perma-shock countenance is the result of surgery gone terribly, terribly wrong.

Anyway, he had corrective surgery to undo the craziness.  Above is a picture of him before….

After the jump is the after pic.  And prepare to be blown away…

Okay, what am I missing?  Bruce showed of his modified mug in June’s issue of Life & Style.  I think Kim Kardashian summed up the change the best:  “You can hardly tell he had anything done.”

Kim Kardashian in a (size 2, natch) cropped pantsuit.  Kim Kardashian in gladiator sandals.  Kim Kardashian as a blond.  Love or hate any or all of it?

“I am a huge fan of Forever 21 and I’m very happy they have expanded their line to include a plus-size range, but I am not in that size category and this article makes it sound like I am! I am a curvy girl and I love my curves, but curvy and plus-sized are two very different things. I work really hard to maintain my curves while staying slim and healthy, so to be classed as a ‘fuller-figured woman’ of extra large proportions is a little offensive.  For the record, I am a size 2, not 2XL.”

Kim Kardashian, yet another member to join Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jessica Simpson in the Size Two Club,  blogging about how offensive she finds it to be called “fuller-figured” in the latest issue of Us Magazine.