As disturbing as this sounds, according to Dlisted, K-Fed has found himself a new lady and they spent the Thanksgiving Holiday at Miss Shar Jackson’s house. You know, Shar, Kevin’s other baby mama? The girl is not cute, but has that white trash big boobed thing goin on. I guess Kevin is into the porn star look, via an article almost a year ago, Kevin was rumored to have hooked up with porn star Kendra Jade. Here is another story of Kevin’s rumored infidelity.

We wonder if she is one of the many reasons for the Brit/K-Fed split? Hopefully one of them will turn up on TV soon enough to tell their side of the story. Maybe K-Fed can go the Nick Lachey route and write some soulful ballads about how his heart was broken by his way-more successful wife?

I just hope Britney Spears stops hanging out with Paris soon. Otherwise Kevin is going to look like a model father and that is just tragic.

Perhaps Mr. Britney Spears won’t have to resort to selling sex tapes after all. While his soon-to-be ex-wife traverses the country on Paris Hilton’s coattails, Kevin Federline has reportedly been offered nearly $300,000 to appear on the U.K.’s Celebrity Big Brother.

According to an insider, “Kevin is hugely entertaining because he takes himself really seriously – even though no one else does. He’ll be great for the show because it’s all about larger-than-life characters.” Although Federline’s “real” fans should not be counted out — X17 snuck cameras into his recent House of Blues show, and caught Kevin leading an (unironically) cheering crowd in a chorus of — if I’m hearing this right — “Fuck K-Fed.” I’m not sure I completely understand the context, but about halfway through the film someone holds a Long Island iced tea up in the air, and that’s really all the explanation I need.

Check out Kimmel’s mucho funny Federline-drowning monologue at last night’s AMAs.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QO6mhwcYC8E]

Britney Spears and K-Fed briefly reunite to jointly issue one last depressing statement: they did not make a sex tape. [Agent Bedhead]

Somehow — somehow — Wesley Snipes has managed to compare his tax evasion indictment to rape and accuse the federal government of racism in a single well-advised statement sent via email to a columnist for the Orlando Sentinel. [E! Online]

I still haven’t figured out who this Katie “Jordan” Price person is, but she’s selling her implants on eBay. [Hollyscoop]

Will Smith homeschools his kids, because he knows everything. [Junkiness]

Kristin Cavallari has found someone even less famous than Brody Jenner to date, her Revenge of the Nerds “co-star,” Nick Zano. [Superficial Girls]

Oh hells no! Britney removes K-Fed from her top 12 on MySpace. That’s what you get for writing mean things about her on shower walls, Kevin. [Faded Youth]

Kate Moss and Pete Doherty are turned away from the London world premiere of Casino Royale, after someone very wise determined that perhaps Queen Elizabeth should not share a red carpet with a world-renowned cokehead. [Agent Bedhead]

Madonna confirms that she plans to adopt a baby girl from Malawi, in order to “redress the balance” in her family. Madonna says things like “redress” because she’s British. Oh wait. [Dirty Laundry]

Donald Trump is going to be a grandpa. Sadly, it’s not because Lance Armstrong knocked up Ivanka. [The Bosh]

Madame Tussaud’s unveils the new Ashlee Simpson wax likeness. What’s that? Oh, I’m told that’s actually Ashlee Simpson. [Celebrity Smack]

Okay, so, in college, some friends and I determined that Sexual Misadventures with Kimmy Gibbler would be, hands-down, the best band name ever. My reasons for mentioning this now are twofold. First, it’s still true, and someone should get on that. Second, Bob Saget actually makes reference to sex with Kimmy Gibbler in this clip of his stand-up, where he sings “Danny Tanner Is Not Gay” to the tune of the Backstreet Boys’ “I Want it That Way.” [BWE]

Are you ready to masturbate to sneakers? Reebok sure hopes so. They’ve hired Scarlett to co-create a line of footwear and apparel and star in the ad campaign. [IDLYITW]

Finally! It’s time for the Reese Witherspoon love interest rumors! Up first: Jake Gyllenhaal. [Hollywood Grind]

“Which singer had to deliver her child via Cesarean because of a raunchy STD her estranged husband gave her?”

Via Page Six today this item leads one to believe that not only did KFed leave B saddled with two kids but also a nasty case of the herps.

Stay away from boys from Fresno.

Hell hath no fury like Kevin Federline scorned. Britain’s News of the World reports that Britney’s soon-to-be ex-hubby is shopping a four-hour sex tape the two recorded at the beginning of their relationship, and that he’s already been offered nearly $33.5M for the footage by an Arizona company. He’s hoping for a pay-off from Britney in exchange for keeping the tape to himself. They also drop the bomb we’ve all been waiting for — that Brit filed divorce papers after catching Federline with another woman.

A K-Fed “pal” is quoted as saying, “This vid is dynamite and Kev knows it.” Firstly: the vid? Is dynamite? This reminds me of the drugs-are-bad videos we watched in elementary school. “Hey, man, wanna smoke a doobie? It’s dynamite! Pop in that tubular Betamax vid and we’ll ride a bogus doobie wave.” (Side note: whenever I need wacky ’80s words, I try to remember the names of the worlds on that last level of Super Mario Brothers. I don’t know what that says about me.)

Britney apparently “fears the raunchy footage will destroy her wholesome image” and “knows a full-on sex video could almost certainly ruin her chance of a career come-back.” Right, because Britney’s image is squeaky clean right now, and a sex tape is no way to launch a career. Just ask Paris Hilton.

They also report that Britney had flown into NYC to join her husband on his tour, but after he stood her up for dinner, she left the restaurant in tears and demanded keys to his hotel room at The Regency. When she let herself into his room, she found Kevin with another woman. It doesn’t sound like they were caught red-handed, but the fact that there was another woman there at all was enough to push Britney over the edge. She filed for divorce the next week.