Tobey Maguire and girlfriend, Irrelevant McNotfamous, welcome a baby girl. [Hollyscoop]

Joley Richardson quits Nip/Tuck. She’s hoping to be cast in a show with more plausible plotlines, possibly something involving giant, mutant, hermaphoditic aphids who eat Koreans and occasionally find themselves in awkward love triangles including the wife of their college roommate. [HGW]

Beyonce and Eva Longoria will be getting all lesbo on the big screen. Where will you be, Paul Reuebens? [Bossip]

Someone asked me the other day how Kate Moss is still so employable, even after the whole cocaine scandal. This is a link to a black-and-white video of Kate Moss, wearing lingerie and saying quiet, mysterious things. More of you will click on this link than any other in this group, probably by a factor of three. And that, my friends, is how Kate Moss is still so employable, even after the whole cocaine scandal. [Agent Bedhead]

In a shocking twist to the Kevin Federline saga, he demands Grey Goose in his dressing room. Check out the rest of the hospitality rider. [CelebSlam]

If Brad Pitt smokes, it must be cool. [Teddy and Moo]

Actor Jack Palance dies. [Hollyweird Gazette]

Sorry I’m late on this, guys — I decided to take a break from tending to y’all last night to take a stab at a social life. We’ll see how this new experiment goes…

An in-depth review of Britney’s pre-nup shows that she filed for divorce on November 6 for a very good reason: one day later, and she would have had to pay a third year of alimony.

If there is anyone happier about this divorce than the celebrity gossip blogging community, it is, surely, Brit-Brit’s homewreckee, Shar Jackson.

In one more blow to FedEx’s pocketbook, Britney is shopping around pics of Jayden James … for free.

Rumors are circulating that Federline talked about divorcing Britney a month before she filed the papers to divorce him. A likely story.

And, finally, BRITNEY IS BACK IN THE RECORDING STUDIO! Hooray!

Kevin Federline has responded to Britney Spears’ divorce filing. In the response, he asks for legal and physical custody of the couple’s two children and requests spousal support. He’s going to need it: his album debuted at #151 this week, and he’s dropped the price of tickets to his upcoming show in Chicago to $0.00 (that’s not a typo) after his recent show in NYC barely filled a sixth of the theater.

The ever-vigilant folks at Extra sent a reporter all the way out to Fresno to interview one of Kevin’s buddies from back in the day. He confirms that Federline didn’t hear about the divorce from his wife, and he is confident that Federline’s “rapping” “career” can survive his split from The Brit.

Don’t give up hope yet, Kevin! Jerry Springer — The Opera, a musical theater hit in England, is coming to the U.S. in Spring 2007, and they’re putting together a cast. They’re going to need dancers, Kev, and you’d be perfect.

I declared it “Britney Spears Day”
She got divorced.
Best News Ever.
:)

Here are some Britney Spears Divorce Links for Your Evening:

Perez has a barrage of great articles of their last final days as a couple including an explosive weekend in NYC that was the nail in the coffin for the relationship [PerezHilton]

Defamer thinks MTV’s plague of bees is god showing displeasure at this holy relationship being over. [Defamer]

A classic “Letter of Fug” from Brit to Kevin. And I quote, “I hope your cornrows all fall out and you trip on your manpris and you break your face and you crash your car.” Actually I hope she takes his stupid car she bought for him away. [GoFugYourself]

America’s Camelot Has Ended, even puppies are sad. [The Gilded Moose]

Oh, it is also election day too. You better vote!!!! God (in all forms) Bless America!

An L.A. judge has dismissed a libel suit brought by Britney Spears which accused Us Weekly of defamation for running a story about a sex tape she allegedly made with K-Fed. The suit was filed last year by Brit and her hubby (who MSN refers to as “dancer Kevin Federline” — ha!), and sought $10M in damages for a story the magazine ran under the headline “Brit & Kev: Secret Sex Tape? New parents have a new worry: racy footage from 2004.”

Judge Lisa Hart Cole concluded the headline was not defamatory, as Brit-Brit “put her modern sexuality squarely, and profitably, before the public eye.” She cited examples from Britney and Kevin’s brief and painful venture into reality television, Chaotic, which included shots of Britney filming Kevin in the shower and interviewing him on a bus, while she was naked, and “otherwise catching plaintiff talking uninhibitedly about her sex life.” Okay: how lucky are Judge Cole’s law clerks? Can you even imagine the talk in the cafeteria?

Judge Cole’s Clerk: Hey, man, what’d you do today?
Less Fortunate Clerk: Oh, you know, reviewed 150 pages of case law, suggested a dismissal on in rem jurisdiction, ordered lunch for the boss. You?
JCC: The usual. Got in early, had a cup of coffee, billed eight hours watching Britney Spears talk about her sex life in low-cut shirts. Rough day.
LFC: I hate you.
JCC: Yeah. Good potato salad today, though.
LFC: I hate you.

I hear it’s some other manner of holiday today, too, but, seriously, who cares if it’s freakin’ Christmas? The Kevin Federline album drops today! You can listen to Playing with Fire (the censored version) for free on AOL music now. You only have to stick around for two minutes to hear the very first usage of “California kush.” God, weed is so cool.

I’ll be honest: it’s not a terrible rap album. It’s not, guys. Sorry to disappoint. It’s pretty unremarkable aside from the fact that it’s Kevin Federline’s, but it’s not that bad. The album is largely centered on his bizarre rise to fame, and there are some great lines. On “America’s Most Hated,” he wonders, “Who told this bastard that he can’t rap / I’ve got fifty mil / I can do whatever I want.” And you know what? He’s right. (I’ll note that I’ve seen the last part of this line taken out of context in a variety of reviews, paired with a line that comes earlier, “All these model chicks wanna do me,” implying that he’s unfaithful to Britney. That’s not what he said, guys, and if you’re looking that hard for a reason to criticize, Federline won.)

Throughout the album, KFed is consistently straight-forward about who he is and why he’s famous, and I give him credit for that. It’s typically peppered with the obligatory references to driving fancy cars and drinking expensive liquor and smoking killer weed, but there are also plenty of references to Britney (who he always refers to only as “my wife”), and they’re all really sweet. He mentions more than once how much he’s in love with her, and I started to understand — just for a minute — how Brit fell for him.

Look, it’s not a stellar album, and if he weren’t married to Britney Spears, you’d never hear anything about it (primarily because it never would have been made). But the thing is, he knows that, and he’s honest about it on his album. He gets points from me for that. It’s totally mediocre, but it’s not so awful as we’d imagined. I mean, have you ever actually listened to the lyrics in anything Gwen Stefani wrote? Playing with Fire is Pulitzer Prize material in comparison. Also, there’s a hidden track. When was the last time an album had a hidden track? Dookie?

The hype surrounding the album hasn’t seemed to help ticket sales for Federline’s shows, as Page Six reports that his Cleveland show was canceled due to lack of interest, and his NYC show is likely to meet the same fate. But today — and just today — you’re okay in my book, Kevin.

Britney baby mystery solved! TMZ got ahold of the kid’s birth certificate, which indicates that Britney birthed a male named Jayden James Federline.

My favorite part of all this? Kevin’s middle name is Earl. And, when asked to sign the document, he printed his name. Oh, well. At least he spelled it right. Small favors, right?