Last night was the LA premiere of He’s Just Not That Into You.  We already saw what anorex-shrek looked like, but what do you think of Scarlett Johansson’s new look?  I struggle every single time I write her last name.  I have a mental block against the spelling; the mnemonic device of “slutty Scarlett” has helped greatly.

Angie Dickinson Drew Barrymore was seen hugging Justin Long which should prompt a rash of “Drew and Mac Guy Reunited” stories; I was just grateful for the embrace so I didn’t have to look at the stains on his shirt or that frosted Revlon “Pink in the Afternoon” lipstick crap she’s so committed to lately.  Or her dress.  Or tongue ring…sigh.

The best Jennifer Aniston could do was an uncombed ponytail and unknown soap star, Jacqueline MacInnes Wood, accessorized her Long John Silver’s uniform with croc shoe boots and a large patent leather maxi-pad.  Kevin Connolly is still cute, Ben Affleck wishes he was dead and Jimmy Fallon’s wife is getting better looking with time.

I was so happy that we no longer hear this HJNTIY phrase every three minutes and now I fear its resurgence. 

What chance of success do you think this movie has?  It has a huge cast including Scarlett Johansson, Drew Barrymore, Jennifer Aniston, Ben Affleck, Justin Long, Jennifer Connelly and Kevin Connolly.  I just don’t think that the woman that needs to see this movie ever will.  Because she’s never going to think it applies to her.

I remember one specific girl I knew who had a years-long relationship with a guy who wasn’t into her.  He would tell her he didn’t love her and that they had no future and she would reply by asking him what he meant by that.  As if he could have been any clearer.  He would tell her to “fuck off” and she viewed that as him really making an effort to communicate.  He had a one-night stand and she believed that his bad judgement was a result of his fear of the intensity of feelings he had for her.  I tried to explain that sometimes a man is just not going to be interested enough.  And it’s not always for some big meaningful reason like they feel that they don’t deserve happiness.  So if you are trying to determine if a guy is into you or not, he isn’t.  Doesn’t seem like we should need a book and a movie to grasp that concept.

Oh, allow me to save you some time and eye strain; the answer is no.  No matter how many times you slo-mo, rewind, repeat, you cannot see Scarlett Johansson’s boobs at 1:45.

Looks like the 33-year-old actor is really going after the 19-year-old dancer.

The Entourage star, 33, recently stopped by Los Angeles’s Tracy Allen Fine Jewelry and plunked down several thousand dollars on a diamond and18-karat, white-gold ring for Dancing with the Stars beauty Julianne Hough.

A store patron says Connolly “knew exactly what he was going to get her and was clear about who it was for.”

Hough even wore the ring on Monday’s performance show, when she and partner Helio Castroneves did the paso doble and the fox trot.

Julianne had her rep be all like, “We’re just friends,” but I think it’s clear that Kevin wants it to be a little something more.

First he dates a 23-year-old Nicky Hilton, then he was linked to 22-year-old Haylie Duff, and now he’s pursuing a 19-year-old dancer?

Watch your step there, Kevin. A couple more girls and you’ll be into jailbait range.

Thanks Emily!