Yesterday we had some hot sexy firemen for those of us who get all tingly for men — today we’re doing a little something for the folks who like titties. The soon-to-be-married Kendra Wilkinson (stop snickering) did a sexy under-the-covers photo shoot recently and posted a few of the shots on her blog. She’s even showing off her bling!

I’ve uploaded the full-size photos, so if you click on the thumbnails and then click again on the photo, you can get even more up close and personal with Kendra’s breasts.

You’re welcome.

Little dogs and twins are so passé.  It’s all about the stripper pole, bitches!  And, of course, Kendra Wilkinson has her finger on the pulse of today’s trends:

I’m coming out with my own stripper pole.[sic] Stripper pole, and stripper pole workout,” The Girls Next Door star, 23, told Usmagazine.com at the American Red Cross Red Tie Affair in Santa Monica Saturday.

“It’s like Carmen Electra’s, but mine is better,” she continued. “Mine will connect to the ceiling, and you can spin on it and do all that stuff on it.”

Wait.  Carmen Electra has a stripper pole?  And you can’t spin on it and do all that stuff on it?  How did this get to market?  I am shuddering just thinking about the types of viruses my laptop is about to get as I Google images of Carmen’s stripper pole.  But I’m going to do it.  Now.

Like a buttercup in piss storm - two many shades of yellow

Former girl next door Kendra Wilkinson has posted some pictures of herself on her blog from back in the day when she really was a girl next door, aged 2 to about 12.

Now, who wouldn’t love looking at pics of Kendra when she was a cute little potbellied kid? When her clothes were stained with mysterious liquids dribbled out of sippy cups (and not old man penises) and any nudity was innocent, and didn’t come with a paycheck (or old man penises).

But I’m calling her out on her assertion that these baby pictures are “proof” that she is  “originally a NATURAL blonde”– a claim she feels she needs to make thanks to “all the blogs out there that are always calling [her] a fake blonde.”

First of all, being blonde when you’re age is still young enough to be tabulated in months rather than years does not give you the ability to claim that you are naturally blonde when you’re in your twenties. Kendra knows this, and is pretty much admitting that she’s not a natural blonde now by using the word “originally.”

Secondly… WHO FUCKING CARES?? Honestly, any controversy over whether or not a woman dyes her hair is so antiquated that it’s laughable. Just own up to dying your hair (like we all know you do) and maybe blogs will stop writing about it. (Yes, I realize the irony of the fact that I’m writing about it right now.)

If Kendra needs a controversy (to discuss or to defend) let’s talk about the fact that she played hot potato with a  pair of shriveled old man balls, passing them back and forth between two other women for years until finally the music stopped and she was out of the game

Seriously Kendra. Stop denying your roots. Kunta Kinte would be very disappointed..

Kendra Wilkinson is telling anybody who’ll listen about what an old-fashioned girl she is. Once she ties the knot June she’s taking  on her new hubby’s last name and immediately dropping into prime babymaking position. She and fiance Hank Baskett already have the names picked out.

She claims it’ll be ’Kaleigh’ for a girl and ‘Hank Baskett IV’ for a boy but we all know she’s going to try so slip in some shit like ‘Lycra’ or ‘DEEZ NUTZ’ and hope nobody notices.

Oh, at last, at last!

We can be done with the boring Hugh Hefner and the sycophantic Holly and the rapidly aging Bridget and just FOCUS ON KENDRA AND HOW STUPID SHE IS.

FINALLY.

It’s confirmed that E! will be giving Kendra Wilkinson her own reality show. The show will focus on Kendra fending for herself in this world (doing laundry! paying bills! BREASTS!) and planning her ill-fated marriage to Hank Baskett.

I hope she brings her grill!

Access Hollywood reports that Kendra Wilkinson – she of ‘Girls Next Door’ and Hef bashing/backtracking fame – is filming her own reality show. No word yet on which network will be airing the program, but I’m sure E! is all over that shit. They love giving shows to vaguely annoying people with oversized balloon like body parts. The show will follow Kendra’s moves in the industry post -”Girls”, and will most likely show her preparing for her upcoming wedding. Kendra is engaged to the Eagles’ Hank Baskett. 

Who do they think is actually going to be watching this?

I’m never surprised anymore when celebs do this.  They spill it all in an interview, only to retract everything once the cocaine wears off.  Just days after the Us Weekly article was released in which Kendra Wilkinson told all about life with Hef, she’s backpedaling.

In a new interview Kendra says, “I’m more upset at myself with what I said.  I’m really bad at interviews, and anyone who knows me knew I meant no harm…I’m a goofball. Mostly, I’m very sorry to have hurt Hef…Playboy made me who I am, and Hef has done more for me than anyone else.  In my heart, I will always love Hef and Playboy.”

She even went to the mansion to personally apologize.  “Hef was hurt, but he understands.  He knows me and knows what came out of the article was not me at all.” 

Translation:  Hef caught wind of the Us Weekly article and was so pissed off that he started shitting Centrum Silvers and Polidents.