OK, I’m sure it’s a little funny to some of you and that’s fine, but you should know that it makes you a bad person. Look at Kendra Wilkinson! My big-breasted girlfriend was seen crying her pretty little eyes out as she left the Superbowl stadium yesterday after watching her husbo more or less lose the big game for his team. The hysterics seem like a bit much considering, you know, he lost the Superbowl and it’s a pretty big deal that he made it there in the first place, but you gotta love how supportive and loyal Kendra is. Also, it makes my uterus ache thinking about her little baby wrapped up in that blanket, too young to ever remember a day that his hot mom carried him out of a stadium crying after his father blew the biggest game of the year. They have to be the most perfect family ever. This gallery is like some modern-day Norman Rockwell shit minus the father and plus a lot of tears.

My second favorite Girl Next Door (loved Bridget, hated Holly), Kendra Wilkinson has finally given birth after being pregnant for what seemed like forever. From E! (of course):

The E! star and her NFL-player hubby Hank Baskett welcomed their first child together,son Hank Baskett IV, at 12:37 a.m. Friday in Indianapolis.

The wee one was delivered via C-section, weighing a robust 9 pounds, 5 ounces. (He is a football player’s son, after all.)

As if Kendra couldn’t fit a nine pound baby out of her body the old fashioned way. You know what I mean. Because her vagina could probably handle it. Ugh. Gross. Never mind.

The little boy, whose progress we were updated on almost daily via supermarket tabloids and E! News breaks, is doing great and so is the mother. “We’re happy and healthy and enjoying every second with little Hank,” the couple said yesterday in a statement.

I know there are a lot of cynics out there who think that Kendra and Hank are probably going to fail and/or not have enough intelligence to rub together in order to keep this baby alive and normal, but I actually think these two are an exception to the Britney and K-Fed rule. I kind of feel like maybe staying at home, raising kids and being a football player’s wife could be the best thing that Kendra’s done since her last Playboy spread.

Kendra Wilkinson posted a picture of her very pregnant self on her blog.  Why do people insist on torturing their animals by putting them in Santa apparel?  In human terms, I guess it’s similar to those folks who Scotch tape a bow on their bald-skulled babies.

Anyway, according to Kendra, her dogs Rascal and Martini are dressed as Mr. and Mrs. Claws.  Groan.  Wimper.  Seriously.

I wonder if Kendra used to be a hooker.  Some ex-Hollywood madam named Michelle Braun — she jokingly referred to herself as “like Jesus, only prettier” — recently decided to flirt with the completely obvious and announce that many of Hugh Hefner’s girlfriends and Playmates were actually high-paid escorts.  HH is one hot piece of ass and I find it hard to believe that he didn’t land these 20 year olds with his own salty charm.

If Wilkinson was once a call girl however, she should be nervous.  Braun hasn’t officially named names yet, but said of one unattached television personality “If I dropped his name to Page Six, I certainly wouldn’t be his Idol.”  Well, it sure as hell isn’t Ryan Seacrest racking up charges with Dial-A-(female)Whore, so she’s clearly talking about Simon.  This pimpette isn’t exactly subtle.

I don’t know why these sports stories can’t break when Kelly is working, but this one is pretty straightforward — no sports knowledge needed.

Michael Vick, the quarterback who was recently released from prison for illegal dogfighting, has been put on the roster for the Philadelphia Eagles.  He was on their exempt list, but now is allowed to practice with and play for the team.  Hey, he did apologize!  Of course, bringing Vick in meant someone had to go.  Who got the boot?  Kendra Wilkinson’s husband, Hank Baskett!

What will Hank and Kendra do with a baby on the way?  Will Hank get picked up by another team?  How will Kendra handle this stress in the final months of her pregnancy?  Did she do that stupid laugh when she heard the news?  We gotta pray that Kendra stays on the air so we can get all these questions (and more!) answered.

Kendra Wilkinson has a book deal.  Just let that sink in.

Kendra Wilkinson has, in a complete stroke of genius, found yet another way to extend what should have been 22 seconds of fame into another business venture.  ”I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.  I have a husband I adore, a baby on the way, and now my memoir is going to be published!”

She should feel like the luckiest girl in the world.  It just isn’t that easy to land a book deal.  It takes a very specific combination of talent, marketability (and in Kendra’s case silicone and luck) to accomplish this.  Obviously, this project is happening but it’s probably not too late to start a letter-writing campaign to the publisher insisting that she isn’t allowed to laugh on the audio book recording.

No exact word on what this book will cover, except that it’s a ”humorous, relatable, fish-out-of-water tale”.  The yet-to-be-titled memoir — how about “No Bunny Cares What You Have To Say”? — is set to be released next summer.  Get that shit on your Amazon pre-order right away.

Would it be a proper Wilkinson nuptial if Kendra didn’t flub her vows? No, of course not. I’m just a little disappointed she didn’t write her own. That would have been comedy gold: “Hank, baby, you had me at the grill.”

That said, this is a gorgeous wedding, and Kendra looks very happy. I just know this is going to be a beautiful marriage for her for the next year or two.

It’s a funny thing, the news: It happens when you least expect it.

Us Weekly had signed a contract guaranteeing them exclusive photo rights to Kendra Wilkinson’s wedding on Saturday, which may have resulted in solid newsstand sales for them. But then Michael Jackson died, and all of a sudden Kendra’s (first) wedding becomes a non-issue. Us Weekly reportedly wanted to wiggle out of the full price in the contract, but a contract is a contract, and they’ll have to pay up. A rep for them denies the story, saying that the “wedding pictures were purchased after Michael died.”

Ya know, my first thoughts about Kendra’s wedding (because, yes, I think about these things), was that it kind of sucked for her to have her wedding’s media coverage eclipsed by the Jackson death. But then I realized — these things go to print at the start of the week. So what you’re seeing is a bunch of tabloids with Michael Jackson on the cover … and Kendra Wilkinson on the sidebar. (Like this.) This week’s tabloids are going to sell to a mass of people who would never normally buy a tabloid rag, because everyone will want to read (or want to own) the Michael Jackson death coverage. The result? Kendra will be visible to an audience that never would have known about her before. It’s actually fantastic for her. And that is my in-depth media analysis for the day.