Anybody watching Flight of the Conchords? No? Alright.

Aaaaanyway, Lady GaGa performed last night. She seems more covered up than usual. I think that’s due to the addition of the fishnet pantyhose that she’s pretending are pants. Those sunglasses/S.W.A.T style facial shields are stupendous. Her costumes are almost enough to make me see the show, but if I see average flabby on the street wearing any of this ish I’ll track her down and make her take responsibility. America is not ready for Latex-wear run amuck in the general population. Trust me.

In attendance was recently rehabbed Kelly Osbourne. She was snapped with a “guest” whom does not really appear to be the sort of person one should associate with after completing a rehab program, but who knows.

Awww, Kelly. The rest of her family is sober, but Kelly keeps relapsing. The 24-year-old is back in rehab.

“Yeah, Kelly’s in rehab,” the matriarch of the Osbourne clan confirmed to RadarOnline.com.

“What else can we say? She knew that it was the right thing to do at this point and we’re proud that she did it. The family is all standing behind her. Kelly knew that she needed help and she’s getting it.”

Sharon didn’t want to reveal the location of the rehab facility where Kelly will be for at at least the next 30 days, except to say that it was outside the L.A. area.

Nor did she want to discuss what she’s getting help for.

“Kelly will tell you herself when she gets out,” Sharon promised. “We just pray that everything’s going to be okay.”

I have to give Kelly a lot of credit for working at this, and continuing to try to get sober. Addiction is such a hard thing to beat, and hopefully Kelly can get a handle on it much earlier than her dad did.

Keep at it, Kel! You’re in my prayers!

Okay, okay, so the actual event happened last summer — what took Scotland Yard so long to investigate?

Kelly Osbourne has been arrested for allegedly slapping a journalist in a London nightclub last summer.

The 24-year-old daughter of Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne was released on bail as inquiries continue. She is scheduled to return to see authorities in March.

The allegations stem from a claim that Osbourne hit gossip columnist Zoe Griffin after Griffin wrote an article mocking Osbourne’s model boyfriend Luke Worrall. In a piece last August in the U.K. newspaper The Mirror, Griffin wrote that she was approached in Punk nightclub by Osbourne, who took issue with a story Griffin had written saying Worrall had to ask how an earthquake was caused.

Griffin quoted her saying, “I have an issue with you. My boyfriend knows what an earthquake is and everyone has been laughing at him and he’s upset.”

As the conversation drew to a close, Griffin wrote, “That’s when I felt a hard slap to my right cheekbone.”

I’m sorry, I’m such a dork, but all I can think while reading this is “Didn’t this guy have to learn about tectonic plates in school?” I was not much of a science kid in school, and, to be honest, the only damn thing I remember from any of my science classes was about how tectonic plate shifts cause earthquakes and volcanoes and mountains. I feel like that’s all they taught us every week. It’s really all I can recall.

That’s not true, I remember one more thing: We had to dissect a grasshopper once, and my friend Rebecca and I, who were lab partners, didn’t really have the heart to cut into our poor grasshopper. This was right after that Heaven’s Gate mass suicide, so instead we covered him in purple construction paper and made little black construction-paper Nikes and taped them to his many feet and told Mr. Anton that we couldn’t dissect him because he had to meet his comet. He was our Heaven’s Gate Grasshopper.

I didn’t excel in my science classes, needless to say. BUT I WAS ALWAYS FUNNY.

What’s the point here? Oh, right, okay. This whole thing is totally dumb because asking what causes an earthquake is not the same as not knowing what an earthquake is. Also everyone should know what causes an earthquake because, as far as I can tell, it’s the only thing they teach in high-school science these days.

Kelly Osbourne interacts with an unnamed individual outside of an LA Rite Aid.

Ah…young love.  Kelly Osbourne has found a mate for lifein Luke Worrall.  The couple began dating six months ago and Luke has announced their engagement…wait for it…on his Facebook status.  Sure, she had been spotted around town wearing a big rock but when you bring it to Facebook it’s official.  His FB pageidentifies him as “the Agyness Deyn of male models.”  Oh Kelly…

But wait…there’s more.  He’s 18 and she’s 24.  Kelly Osbourne is only 24.  Is that even possible?  Doesn’t it seem like she should be 47 or something?  I’m all for young love but why do they have to get married?  Can’t they just share a flat and fornicate as nature intended?  It’s so much cheaper when it goes off into the ditch.  And in this economy, we must be prudent.  Kelly Osbourne marrying an 18 year-old male model does not make sound financial sense.

Mark Ronson’s girlfriend, model Daisy Lowe, brought a dog to sit front row with her at the Matthew Williamson show at New York Fashion Week.

Oh, and she brought an adorable little Havanese puppy, too.

Ba-dum-bum-ching!

I had to, you guys. I had no choice in the matter. You don’t get set up like that every day, ya know. In fact, I can’t believe that Kelly Osbourne didn’t see it coming. If I were her, I would have been like, “Look, Daisy, you can bring that dog in here if you want, but I’m not being photographed anywhere near you. I’m not just going to hand those fuckers the punchlines.” Gotta think a step ahead of us, Kelly!

Seriously, though, this is totally something I’d do with Leo, and I loooooove Daisy for it.

Kelly Osbourne walks around Manhattan with her boyfriend, model Luke Worrell.

Hey, Luke, is that a cell phone in your pocket or … oh, yeah, that’s definitely just a cell phone in your pocket. I’m just jealous because I wish I looked that good in tight jeans.