Where have I been and how did I not know this?  Despite it being “the worst-kept secret in Nashville”, I was completely unaware that these two were dating.  And they’ve reportedly been dating for a year! 

Pickler, on a radio interview, referred to being involved in a year-long relationship.  Now other Nashville sources have stated that “the guy” is actually the ex-Mr. Pamela Anderson.  He does like them blond and low on the bell curve, doesn’t he?

What do we think of Rockler?  Cute couple or creepy?  I vote “kinda cute.”

The virtually unrecognizable Kellie Pickler has a new video out for her song Best Days Of Your Life.  The video features Beet’s fave, Taylor Swift, who you just know was thinking about her lost Jonas the whole time they filmed this.

I could totally see this crossing over to Top 40 music which is a good thing.  I’ve been struggling lately because I can’t stand country music, but I find myself liking it and sometimes even seeking it.  This cannot be happening.

Here are more shots of Kellie Pickler at NY Fashion Week.

I am REALLY unhappy with this new face and look of hers. I just adored her before. Now she looks so fake.

I literally let out a little squeak when I saw this photo of Kellie Pickler at the CMAs. My slumbering dog woke up and stared at me, like “Is everything okay, Mom? Do you need me to bark or something?”

But seriously!

Holy fake boobies!

And, like, that adorable fresh-faced Southern gal we all fell in love with on American Idol is officially looking worked. Like she was rode hard and put away wet. I’m just going to start referring to it as Aubrey O’Day syndrome. Kellie Pickler is suffering from Aubrey O’Day syndrome.

It’s been nearly a week since the last celebrity decided to break their silence on the hasn’t-been-taboo-in-twenty-years subject of depression.

So it’s about time another one stepped up to the plate!

Enter Kellie Pickler, who has a new album to sell wants to help others by sharing her own story.

“Everything in my professional life seemed great,” says the former American Idol contestant, 22. “But in my personal life, I was just crumbling.”

Anti-depressants made her “crazy,” she says, and the side effects forced her to quit the pills.

At the same time, she watched her father – a convicted felon who had been released from prison soon after her Idol stint – spiral downward again and return to jail, while her mother, who abandoned her at age 2, unexpectedly reemerged.

“I was an emotional wreck,” she says.

Her friendships with singers Taylor Swift and Carrie Underwood, along with a new love – Nashville songwriter Kyle Jacobs – and writing songs for her new album (her self-titled sophomore effort was released Sept. 30) helped her find balance again.

“He makes me feel so good about being me,” she says of Jacobs.

Can I just say something?

(Of course I can, it’s my blog. But asking first is stylistically effective, don’t you think?)

If I am ever a really famous person, I have like a laundry list of shit I’m going to pull out for these sob-story articles. Seriously name the mental disorder, and I’ve been diagnosed with it by some over-zealous psychologist at some point in my whiny, whiny life. I was applying for new health insurance yesterday, and they have like a 14-page questionnaire filled with diseases and you have to check a box if you’ve been diagnosed with any of them. And on 13 of the 14 pages, I checked nothing. I don’t have fibromyalgia. Never had encephalitis. No endometriosis poking past this uterus. I am a perfect candidate for health insurance. And then we get to the “mental health” page and I’m like, “Oh, shit, here we go,” and I had to check like everything short of “mental retardation,” which, at that point, I kind of thought I should go get checked out for just to be safe. I think I need to just stop going to see shrinks and just accept the fact that I get grumpy sometimes.

But anyway, here’s the point: when I decide to over-share to a major national publication, I’m totally gonna preface it with, “Look, I wouldn’t normally be saying cornball shit like this, but I have a new book out, and I figure this’ll be an effective way to insert myself directly in the spotlight.” At least be honest about it, ya know?

Kellie Pickler released her second album this week — a eponymous, relaxed, and occasionally humorous set of tracks where she got to take her sweet time and call her own shots. And, frankly, it’s amazing.

I’ll be honest: I loved Kellie on AmIdol, but I wasn’t a big fan of her first album. I’ve been listening to her sophomore effort for a couple days now, and I LOVE it. It’s a fantastic country album, and she has a lot to be proud of.

“It was so rushed and, honestly, now that it’s out and I can be honest about it, there are songs on there I would never even cut,” says Kellie of her first album, Small Town Girl. “It’s so good to finally say ‘Here I am! This is the real me, the real deal.”

Kellie co-wrote half the tracks on the album.

“I started songwriting after ‘Idol.’ I tried before but I hadn’t mastered it,” she said. “I think the key is to be real, to be honest. When we started to pull things from my journal — whether it was a bad breakup or a fight with a friend or a personal struggle with my family — that’s when everything started to click. When I tried to make up some fictional story, I wasn’t good at it. The only thing I’m good at is being me.”

She penned the melancholy “Somebody to Love Me” after a particularly painful split.

“Everything in my personal life was crumbling. I’d go out and sing in front of 50,000 people and then get on my tour bus and cry. I was lonely. I just wanted someone to love me,” said Pickler, who had a well-publicized relationship — and breakup — with Jordan Tootoo of the NHL’s Nashville Predators and is now dating one of her co-writers, Kyle Jacobs.

Anyway, I really can’t say enough good things about this album. I’m really digging it, and I think she did a great job. Congrats, Kellie. I always knew you had it in ya.

Oh, wait.

This is Kellie Pickler.

Hm.

It’s hard not to feel bad for Kelly Pickler. She used to be a naive, but lovable, little trailer park gal. Now she’s been handled and rebreasted. Sadly, her daddy hasn’t caught up with the vibe and remains true to his roots:

ALBEMARLE, N.C. (AP) — The father of former American Idol contestant Kellie Pickler has been arrested again, accused this time of stealing older abandoned and disabled vehicles and illegally selling them to scrap yards.

Wow. You have to admit that’s a pretty crappy thing to get arrested for. If Pickler’s poppa had gone down for meth at least there would have been some honor there. But stealing abandoned vehicles, presumably from the neighbors concrete blocks in the front yard, is sad times.

Authorities have charged Clyde Pickler, 42, who finished a three-year prison term in Florida last year for stabbing a man, with three felony counts of larceny of a motor vehicle and one felony count of obtaining property under false pretense, according to court records.

Oh, wait, he stabbed a dude and was in the joint for that? Hmmm… I may have to rethink this one. Okay, here we go, Pickler’s dad is still doing crime (and will do the time) but at least he’s transitioned to non-violent offenses. So it looks like Pickler’s star is on the rise!

They’re kind of lopsided, my darling. And what have you done with your hair? Is that how people do their hair for prom in Albermarle? Because you haven’t lived there in a really long time, sweetheart, and this ain’t prom.

Carrie Underwood looks precious. A newly single Bucky Covington made an appearance, as did Taylor Swift, looking killer in a super-cute dress.

Kate Moss and Pete Doherty are turned away from the London world premiere of Casino Royale, after someone very wise determined that perhaps Queen Elizabeth should not share a red carpet with a world-renowned cokehead. [Agent Bedhead]

Madonna confirms that she plans to adopt a baby girl from Malawi, in order to “redress the balance” in her family. Madonna says things like “redress” because she’s British. Oh wait. [Dirty Laundry]

Donald Trump is going to be a grandpa. Sadly, it’s not because Lance Armstrong knocked up Ivanka. [The Bosh]

Madame Tussaud’s unveils the new Ashlee Simpson wax likeness. What’s that? Oh, I’m told that’s actually Ashlee Simpson. [Celebrity Smack]

Okay, so, in college, some friends and I determined that Sexual Misadventures with Kimmy Gibbler would be, hands-down, the best band name ever. My reasons for mentioning this now are twofold. First, it’s still true, and someone should get on that. Second, Bob Saget actually makes reference to sex with Kimmy Gibbler in this clip of his stand-up, where he sings “Danny Tanner Is Not Gay” to the tune of the Backstreet Boys’ “I Want it That Way.” [BWE]

Are you ready to masturbate to sneakers? Reebok sure hopes so. They’ve hired Scarlett to co-create a line of footwear and apparel and star in the ad campaign. [IDLYITW]

Finally! It’s time for the Reese Witherspoon love interest rumors! Up first: Jake Gyllenhaal. [Hollywood Grind]