Sunday’s Monsters vs Aliens premiere was a veritable who’s who of people you’re not supposed to be attracted to, but probably are.
There were a few who walked the red (or rather, blue) carpet that would be considered mainstream-acceptably hot (Kiefer Sutherland, Paul Rudd, Reese Witherspoon). But there were just as many celebrities about whom many of you have probably had the occasional raunchy dream, but were too embarrassed to tell anyone. I can tell you from my own dreams that Seth Rogen is very gentle and Hugh Laurie’s beard tickles. Rainn Wilson and Jack Black are on a few of your lists, I’m sure. Hell, maybe some of you are even attracted to that big, blue, animated blob.

Personally,  I love Reese’s dress. But I can also see how some people would think it looks like scraps of Christmas wrapping paper sewn together.

“He’s not happy to be here,” says a spokesman for his jail in Glendale, “but you can tell from his demeanor that he’s sorry and takes responsibility for what’s he’s done.”

Either that, or he’s looking to get out early on good behavior.

Sutherland spent his first full day on Thursday folding jail laundry. He also had cornflakes for breakfast, a turkey sandwich for lunch and chicken a la king for dinner.

Hey, at least he didn’t spend his first day making up some bullshit “illness” to get out early, a la Paris Hilton.

Way to suck it up, Jack Bauer.

Dude. I’m sorry, but he looks hot.

Keifer went to jail for 48 days on a DUI bust late last night.

A judge today sentenced him to 48 days in jail for his second drunken-driving arrest in three years.

He surrendered immediately and was sent to jail in Glendale.

How is it that Nicole Richie gets 82 minutes for her second DUI, and Keifer’s doing 48 days?

Isn’t the legal system supposed to make sense?

Ugh.

The show’s star agreed to serve 30 days for driving with a blood-alcohol level above the legal limit of .08 percent, as well as 18 days for violating his probation for a 2004 drunken driving case, according to court records.

The actor was not in the courtroom and his attorney, Blair Berk, entered the plea agreement. A second misdemeanor charge, driving under the influence, was dropped. The charges stemmed from a traffic stop in Los Angeles last month.

As part of the arrangement, Sutherland must also enroll in an 18-month alcohol-education class and attend weekly alcohol-therapy sessions for six months.

Seriously?

He’s doing like 45 days in jail for a fourth DUI?

While early releases have been granted to others, including celebrities, because of jail crowding and other concerns, Sutherland must serve all of his time, according to the plea agreement. The sheriff also was specifically ordered to not release Sutherland to electronic monitoring.

The 40-year-old actor will officially be sentenced Dec. 21, when he must begin serving the 18 days in the county jail. It also is the same day his show begins its winter production break.

Sutherland then will have until July 1, 2008, to serve the remaining 30 days in jail. He will be on probation for five years and faces fines and a driving suspension, according to court documents.

The actor’s plea arrangement ensures that production of “24″ will not be interrupted, Fox officials said in a statement.

“Kiefer made clear to us at the time of his arrest that his first concern was the welfare of those he worked with and that he intended to do whatever was necessary to prevent shutting down the show because of his situation,” the statement said.

“He told us that even if he had to sacrifice more time in custody in order to protect the show and the jobs of those who work with him, he would do so. From what occurred today, it is evident he is a man of his word,” it said.

Okay, it’s nice of him to not want the crew guys on 24 to lose their jobs, but what about the countless lives he puts at risk every time he drives drunk?

QUIT. DRINKING. KEIFER.