Good morning and Happy Monday!  Did you guys enjoy Evil Beet’s new writer Kelly as much as I did?  She had me laughing all weekend and I wished Monday would never come.  As a matter of fact, I looked in the mirror this morning and sighed, “Ah, you again?”  The only thing that can cure me of the Monday blues is to talk about love.

I don’t know if we can really categorize this as love, it could just be great head, but Josh Groban is reportedly hooking up with Katy Perry.  Now, when I say “hooking up” what I really mean is that someone, better known as “an unnamed source close to the couple,” probably saw the two of them simultaneously reach for the same dispenser at Yogurtland.  If they spoke to one another, that could be classified as “making wedding plans.”  I think we just have to stay tuned on this to see if any pictures of the two actually appearing within five hundred feet of each other ever crop up prior to acknowledging that the world’s weirdest union is unfolding right before our eyes.

Unrelated yet related in my scary mind:  Does anyone watch Ugly Betty?  I do, and I think Betty’s boyfriend Matt looks like Josh Groban.  I put him in the gallery just because.

Miz Perry was rocking some VERY tight pants and a Hello Kitty top at the Brit Awards in London today.

Katy won the Best International Female award, then ran off-stage and puked. Apparently she’s been struggling with one of those awful flu bugs helping the international economy by keeping the world home sick. BLERGH.

Props to Katy for showing up anyway. You know Puss ‘N’ Boots wouldn’t have showed.

Katy Perry kissed a boy … and she liked it! (No, seriously, I would never make that joke. But trust me when I say that everyone else will.)

I just wrote about how Paris Hilton was getting it on with the man who invented the word “douchetard,” Doug Reinhardt.

So what’s her ex, Benji, going to do?

Snuggle all over Las Vegas with the worst live performer at this year’s Grammys (and that’s saying something!), Katy Perry.

Following her Valentine’s show at Hard Rock Hotel’s Wasted Space, Perry, 24, and Madden, 29, headed to Lavo – where the two conspicuously cuddled throughout the night, later prompting one observer to sense “some chemistry there.”

Madden, in town to deejay, even danced for Perry during several songs – and at those rare times when their hands weren’t on each other’s legs.

I like basically none of the people involved in any of this, but I have to say Benji comes out on top in this mess. Katy may not be much of a, ya know, singer, but at least she’s not famous for being annoying on reality TV. UPGRADE!

Can we issue a warrant for the arrest of Gwyneth Paltrow’s stylist?  Her Grammy ensemble left me dumb and blind for several minutes.

Also behind the scenes at the Grammy Awards, Nicole Kidman’s facial muscles have left the building, Queen Latifah is still working on her healthy weight, Leann Rimes’ husband struck the “Yes, she’s pregnant!” pose,  and Katy Perry’s performance dress completely cancels out all the positive that had been accomplished by her red carpet look.

Miz Perry ditched her usual lingerie for this pink flowing (vintage?) number with one hell of a bow.

Grammy rehearsals were underway yesterday at The Staples Center and if these wacktastical masks of artistic effort  are any indication of what ’s in store for I might actually tune in. Grammies are happening this Sunday, February 8th, 8pm et/pt on CBS. For a complete list of nominees you can go here.

More unfortunate facial contortions from this year’s Grammy performers..

Katy Perry won the NRJ Music International Best Song of the Year award for I Kissed A Girl.  If you are anything like me, you may be wondering what the NRJ Music Awards even are.  Basically, it is yet another created excuse to have a fancy awards ceremony in an exotic location.  NRJ radio listeners vote online for their favorite artists in different categories and then they have an awards show in France. 

So, Katy won and accepted the award at the Cannes ceremony.  It turns out, she’s not the winner.  A vote miscount; how very Florida of them!  The true winner was Rihanna for her song, Disturbia.

This all feels so Brady Bunch to me.  Remember the episode when Jan was feeling all defeated by Marcia, Marcia, Marcia but then she won the essay contest and realized that she was special too?  Then, right before going onstage to be recognized, she discovered her score was added wrong and she came clean to the teacher.  Poor Jan; still a loser and though being honest was the right thing to do, it didn’t make her any more useful and certainly never put her in Marcia’s league.

Now that I think of it, I’m not really sure how Jan Brady relates to Katy Perry being stripped of her win, but bear with me.  I had a very traumatic hairdressing appointment yesterday involving bangs.  I’m not myself.