Katie Holmes was on the 100th episode of So You Think You Can Dance last night.  (I always want to put a question mark at the end of that show title.)  I’ve got the clip for you.  Unless you want to watch Katie scratch herself and look dead in the eyes, fast forward to about the two-minute mark.  There, you can watch Katie lip-sync and look dead in the eyes.  Enjoy!

Edited to add:  The reviews are in!  You know, I just cruised over to Twitter to see if Solange Knowles ever.  stopped.  copying.  me.  and saw that Shanna Moakler just posted this Tweet:  ”I am fckn INSULTED, Katie Holmes how dare you! maybe if I suck Tom Cruise off I can be Ann Miller for a day. Shame Shame Shame.”  Like, she seriously couldn’t have sacrificed a comma or exclamation point in exchange for having enough available characters to be able to spell “fucking”?  (Screen grabbed it for when the coke and martinis wear off and Shanna deletes it.) 

Edited again:  I’ll add any more coke-fueled Tweets valuable Shanna Moakler commentary that she posts.

Don’t forget that Katie Holmes is on So You Think You Can Dance tonight.  She will be singing and dancing a tribute to Judy Garland.  Tonight’s episode is a celebration of the show’s 100th episode.  I’ve never seen it before, but I’ll totally be tuning in to see if her leaseholder Tom Cruise is there.

Katie has joined forces with the show’s producer and judge Nigel Lygothe as well as Adam Shankman and Dancing with the Stars judge Carrie Ann Inaba to form a foundation called Dizzy Feet.  Dizzy Feet’s goal is to provide education and opportunity to underprivileged dancers.

Sadly, the show airs at 9 p.m. EST which is in direct schedule conflict with the re-airing of Lindsay Lohan’s Labor Pains (begins at 8 p.m. EST).  It’s like network executives just sit around thinking of new and creative ways to piss me off.  Thank you, sweet Jaysus for DVR technology.

According to this article in the Daily Mail, Suri Cruise will be off to Scientolotot Elementary after she turns three this week. She’s heading to the Scientologist school founded by (closeted) Scientologist Will Smith.

The school is staffed by trained Scientologists and lists ‘study technology’ as a key curricular focus. The children eat a low-carb, low-sodium and low-sugar organic diet, although something tells me that’s about the only positive thing they’ll be teaching the kids at that school.

Meanwhile, Katie’s reportedly been on a much less nutritious diet, the Purification Rundown that Scientolowives endure before becoming impregnated with their little Xenu babies. The diet –- which consists of herbal drinks and a purification procedure to eliminate toxic substances — is rumored to have left Katie so run-down that she was forced to miss the Oscars. Starvation! Exactly what the medical community recommends prior to pregnancy! Katie’s somehow found the strength to be filming her new movie, The Extra Man, in NYC, but she’ll be heading back to LA soon so that Suri can start school and she can get knocked up. (By some manner of “extra man,” I’d imagine — probably the same one that fathered Suri.)

FREE KATIE!!!

Katie Holmes showed up yesterday in Tokyo at a Valkyrie screening with long hair.  Man, she must have a serious protein diet going…her hair grew, like, overnight!

So…love it or hate it?

Suri, I don’t blame you.  I’m totally over your dad too!  Speaking of “dad”, may I take this opportunity to ask you to Google images of Katie Holmes’ ex, Chris Klein?  Oh, hell…just look in the gallery.

Tom, Suri and Katie wearing an ensemble that is sure to spark baby bump rumors, arriving yesterday in Japan as they continue their Valkyrie promo tour.

Katie Holmes is the cover girl on April’s issue of Glamour.  She shares all the crap about her life that no one is interested in learning about.

Regarding the actresses she idolizes, she inexplicably mentioned Audrey Hepburn in the same sentence as Julia Roberts:

Growing up, I always had my dreams set on being an actor, so I looked up to Julia Roberts, Audrey Hepburn. I also look up to Kate Winslet and Renée [Zellweger] and Cate Blanchett…and Diane Keaton—she’s a genius.

On a day living in an imprisoning compound in her life:

We like to be together, so we use the house for our [business] meetings. [We] play Yahtzee, board games, Scrabble. We grill; have pool parties. We play “The Three Little Pigs” and Suri is the Big Bad Wolf. [Tom] reads story books to Suri and we all laugh. When a good song comes on, he’ll break into dance. We’ll watch movies in bed—recently Madagascar and Cinderella, for Suri. We have a really good time.

On vowing to marry Tom.  Oh, and when she said “fun,” she meant “malleable.”

When Top Gun came out my sisters were like, ‘Oh, my God, Top Gun! Tom Cruise!’ And I very confidently said, ‘I’m going to marry him one day.’ It wasn’t like, How do I get Tom Cruise? It was just: I think I’m going to marry him. Why not? He’ll like me. I’m fun.

JK, you guys! JK!

Katie’s not really sad — she’s just filming a movie. WHY WOULD KATIE HOLMES BE SAD?

Here’s Mrs. Cruise breaking out her very best Joey Potter for a scene in her upcoming movie, The Extra Man, which is currently filming in Manhattan.

Is it possible her face is getting even more angular?