Tom and Katie’s rep have now confirmed that their wedding will be November 18th in Italy. I’m glad for Katie since she already got brainwashed and knocked up in the course of a year while waiting in vain for her big wedding. They have been engaged since June 2005, so this wedding has been “in the works” for some time. I wish them well even though I find Tom Cruise super creepy.

I wonder if the guests will dress as aliens? Seriously if anyone knows what a Scientology wedding entails please shoot me an email.

Katie Holmes’ Catholic parents have threatened to boycott her wedding to Tom Cruise if it’s held in the Scientologist tradition. They also object to the Rob Thomas mask he insists she wear throughout the ceremony.

• Katie Holmes may play the role of Victoria Beckham in an upcoming biopic about Posh’s hubby, U.K. soccer star David Beckham.
• A publicity-starved Steve-O urinates on the red carpet at the premiere of Jackass 2. Fair warning: if you click that link, you are going to see his penis.
• Steve-O’s penis is lovely treat, but I know what you all really crave is a peek at Rosie O’Donnell’s tits. Well, then, you should watch Nip/Tuck on October 3. Or, you know, avoid Nip/Tuck at all costs for the entire month of October, just in case.
• Britney’s “manny” leaves her for Jude Law. Maybe he’s planning to reunite with Sienna Miller for the fifty-eighth time. She was not such a big fan of the old nanny.
• Keith Richards showed up to film his part as Johnny Depp’s father in the third installment of the other national mint, Pirates of the Caribbean, and the Rolling Stones rocker was almost too drunk to get through the scene. Where is Courtney Love when you need her?
• If you own an energy drink called Rehab, and you would like people to take pictures of your product and write about it on the Internet, you do whatever it takes to get that can into the sweaty, shaky hands of Lindsay Lohan. But how to do that? It just seems to good to be true. It took me awhile to find much information on the product, since any google search for “lohan rehab” or “rehab beverages” provides a million hits I can’t use, but I finally tracked down their website. They’re a Las Vegas company, and it looks like they’re partnered with Pink Taco, a chain of Mexican restaurants owned by Harry Morton, Lohan’s boyfriend. Mystery solved.

• People in this country seem to think it would be a good thing if Lindsay Lohan moved to London. Such thinking belies a tacit ignorance of the economic underpinnings of our nation. A drastic shift in the supply/demand curve of the blow industry impacts all of us.
• Cameron Diaz filed a police report accusing a photog of assault with a deadly weapon.
• Angelina and Brad continue their tireless quest to buy our forgiveness, donating $1M each to the Global Action for Children and Doctors Without Borders. It’s really pathetic, you know, behaving as though a vast improvement in quality of life for thousands of third-world children in any way makes up for the broken heart of one first-world Jennifer Aniston. You two sicken me.
• Someone went Wild On…Brooke Burke. Check out pics of her preggers. And, for the record, I tried very hard to think of something more current to pun on than an E! series she wrapped four years ago, but that’s really all there is for her.
• No, silly, Chris Klein did not impregnant Katie Holmes. An alien did.

From Moby’s blog. I’ve noted the spelling errors. I post this mostly because I agree, and because it echoes almost eerily the sentiments I expressed when Brad and Angelina stuck their kid on the cover of People. I’ve corrected the spelling mostly because I don’t really like Moby, either, and because nothing’s funnier to me than a moral high ground expressed fearlessly and spelled incorrectly. So without further ado:

are you kidding me?
putting your fucking CHILD on the cover of vanity fair?
are they out of their minds?
using a child as a p.r prop???
argh. question: what is more important, your ability to shepherd a child through life and give it a healthy foundation for the hardships of existence, or usingit to get a vanity fair cover?
using children as p.r props does disgust me, i have to admit.
in the grand scheme of things fame pales in comparison to family and child-rearing.
i don’t know tom cruise and katie holmes, but i really cannot for a second fathom the mindset of parents who would sell pictures of their children and use their children to get better press coverage.
i’m sorry, i try not to be too judgemental judgmental, but it’s gross.
shouldn’t children have to be cogniscent cognizant of what’s actually going on before they’re being used by their parents to be on the cover of magazines?
not to sound too old fashioned, but if parenthood and infancy are not sacred in our culture, what is?
it just seems fucking grotesque to me, to use your newborn to get press coverage.
ugh.
moby

• Orlando Bloom decides he can’t see Kate Bosworth anymore. No, really, he can’t actually see her anymore.
• It’s official: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes found a baby to adopt! Katie Couric kicked off her CBS career with the pics. From the looks of the kid, some 15-year-old prostitute in Cambodia is a real big fan of Scientology these days.
• It’s not that Victoria Beckham is pregnant, it’s just that her husband doesn’t speak Spanish.
• When a lot of rich people have invested a lot of money in you, you don’t have to go to jail for petty things like using heroin and selling cocaine to teenagers in rehab. Isn’t that right, Pete Doherty?
• Jessica Simpson denies she’s dating John Mayer on the View today. So if we could just get a moratorium on all “Is Jessica Simpson’s Body a Wonderland?” headlines for awhile, that’d be great, mmkay?

• If you liked Mean Girls, you’ll love Heathers 2.
• When William H. Macy goes on the record with how much you suck, Lindsay Lohan, you must totally suck.
• Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have been lurking around the Yahoo/HBO complex in Santa Monica. They must have found a sitter for their little Suri. And by “sitter” I of course mean “fake sitter,” and by “Suri” I of course mean “PR stunt.”
• Since he can’t marry Kate Moss just yet, Pete Doherty is passing the time by sneaking cocaine to teenagers in rehab.