Hey, I didn’t call her a “wharf rat.”  I’m just trying to be supportive and agreeable here!

Private Practice star, Kate Walsh appears in the March issue of Redbook and talks about the dissolution of her marriage.  This is it in a nutshell:  When she got married, she didn’t think she would be getting divorced.  She is known for being very persistent and trying, trying, trying.  She got divorced after fifteen months.  She still cares about her ex-husband.  She was sad.  She’s dating.  She’s an insecure and desperate, quivering wharf rat.  She wishes she could call guys and hang up but can’t because of caller ID.  She longs for the days of being able to stalk dudes.

Kate obviously hasn’t heard of Facebook.  Because I stalk my legions of exes on there.  I love when they look really bad and defeated by life.  Oh, I meant to say that I hope they are happy.  Sigh…see why I could never be a celebrity?

Kate Walsh and Balthazar Getty, neither of whom have had much luck with marriage lately, cuddle up at the Oliver Peoples Hollywood luncheon yesterday in LA.

But my favorite thing about this photo?

The little scrunched-up bulges in Balthazar’s pants.

What did Wendie call that again?

Oh, yes. An ass twat.

In the predictable shit-storm that is the end of Kate Walsh’s 15-month marriage, the divorce filings are flying.

Two weeks after her husband filed for divorce, the Private Practice star has submitted her own paperwork asking for a permanent split from 20th Century Fox exec Alex Young.

Both parties cite irreconcilable differences as the reason their 15-month union wound down so soon, but while Young’s filing listed their date of separation as Nov. 22, Walsh’s counterfiling has the break coming five days earlier.

Whatever.

Point is, don’t get married to some dude you’ve only known for a few months when you’re both ridiculously rich and important. You’ll both end up unsatisfied and divorcing each other.

How many times have I said that Kate Walsh and her stupid quickie husband wouldn’t last a year?

Okay, I was wrong. They lasted just over a year. Why must Hollywood be so predictable?

Kate’s husband, Alex Young, petitioned for divorce in November, citing irreconcilable differences.

Thank God.

I know this is horrible to say, but Kate Walsh’s life was seeming a little too fairytale there for my tastes.

But I wonder why it was the hubby filing for divorce. I thought for sure she’d dump his ass. You think she was cheating on him? Or too focused on her career for his tastes? Too much boozing? Secret drug problem? I’ll entertain your wild guesses in the comments section.

By the way, the photo above was taken less than two weeks before the divorce filing. Hm.

Oh, look, it’s Kate Walsh. Perfect, gorgeous, rich, happily married, successful, skinny, kissed-by-every-hot-doctor-on-television Kate Walsh. Looking perfect. Yay.

Kate Walsh and her husband, Alex Young, hit up the party for the premiere of Man Men season two.

I’m happy for them. I truly thought they’d be divorced within a couple of months — which is about how long they were dating before they tied the knot. It’s refreshing to see that they’re still going strong.

Kate Walsh and her new husband, Alex Young, mysteriously aren’t divorced yet. The nauseatingly cute couple spent Thankgiving frolicking on the beach in Hawaii.