Last week Kanye West’s new video for his song Paranoia was posted on his blog, but apparently it wasn’t quite ready for human consumption.  This probably explains why Beet and everyone else didn’t understand what the video was all about when it was originally broadcast last week.

West wrote, “It hurts me to see the old and very wrong version of the ‘Paranoid’ video get leaked all over the net while I was on an 11-hour flight and couldn’t do anything about it. It’s just frustrating when this stuff happens because I really care about the product and, since videos never get played anyway, you might as well tweak them and make them as special as possible.”  Now, I’m not sure how a video can be “leaked all over the net” when it was embedded on his own blog, and I can’t help but think that Kanye West needs an assistant to handle his website maintenance, but really I was just relieved that he temporarily STOPPED WRITING EVERYTHING IN CAPS.

Anyway, now it has been released for real.  Rihanna doesn’t sing but gets lots of camera time.

“Kanye West is the person pissing me off right now. I was at Stella McCartney’s Paris fashion show with the vice president of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, Paul McCartney and Kanye West. The entire time Kanye is going, ‘They need more fur in this show’. He just wouldn’t shut up about how he loved fur. I mean, he’s saying this to me, the PETA guy and Paul McCartney! I was just so grossed out by him. I’m like, ‘You’re an idiot!’ There are so many people who I think are a waste of skin and he’s up there. I should wear him. Go on, donate yourself Kanye. People can wear your fur.”

Pink, in an interview with FHM Magazine, sharing her opinion of Kanye West.

Ummmm, what can I say? It’s a song by Kanye West, but it’s four full minutes of Rihanna. She’s not doing anything particularly interesting, either.

I officially don’t get it.

“I am not a fan of books. I would never want a book’s autograph. I am a proud non-reader of books. I like to get information from doing stuff like actually talking to people and living real life.”

These are the words of Kanye West — and I’d like him to know that books don’t actually sign autographs, authors do – who obviously feels that being a non-reader is something to brag about.  I feel like saying, “Dude, ‘doing stuff’ is cool, but you kinda have to also read books to learn about stuff that happened before you were around.”  Of course that would imply that the universe existed before  West was born and I’m not sure I could convince him of that concept.  I’m sure his English professor mother is beaming with pride, watching from heaven as her little anti-bibliophile spreads the (unwritten) word.

In true ironic form, Kanye West has written a book.  Yep.  It’s titled “Thank You And You’re Welcome.”  West’s “collection of thoughts and theories” is 52 pages long if you count the random interspersed blank pages, and offers food for thought such as, “Life is 5% what happens and 95% what you make of it.”   Did I mention that this glorified place mat costs eight dollars?

In closing, I’d like to leave you with this excerpt from the book:

Get used to being used

I feel like to misuse, overuse or abuse someone is negative. To use is necessary and if you can’t be used, then you are useless.

The song “Silly Boy” was released on the internet this week with vocals by Lady Gaga and Rihanna.  It gathered a lot of steam when Kanye West linked the track to his blog.

This new tune would be great and an awesome step forward for Rihanna especially, except for one tiny fly in the ointment:  It’s a fake.  Rihanna’s rep confirms to Us  that Riri didn’t record this song.

I can’t wait for Kanye’s ALL CAPS EXPLANATION OF WHAT EXACTLY IS GOING ON!

There is no way that a girl like me should ever be utilizing the word “doper” but it’s Kanye West’s newest goal:  Doper-ness.

Last night’s South Park was a spoof on Kanye West’s under-developed sense of humor and his over-inflated ego.  I’ve posted three NSFW clips that give you the basic idea of what the episode is about; you can see it in its entirety here.  And now, Kanye has responded with a bit of humility on his blog.  Sadly, still not enough modesty to take the fucking caps lock off, but baby steps.

SOUTH PARK MURDERED ME LAST NIGHT AND IT’S PRETTY FUNNY. IT HURTS MY FEELINGS BUT WHAT CAN YOU EXPECT FROM SOUTH PARK! I ACTUALLY HAVE BEEN WORKING ON MY EGO THOUGH. HAVING THE CRAZY EGO IS PLAYED OUT AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE AND CAREER. I USE TO USE IT TO BUILD UP MY ESTEEM WHEN NOBODY BELIEVED IN ME. NOW THAT PEOPLE DO BELIEVE AND SUPPORT MY MUSIC AND PRODUCTS THE BEST RESPONSE IS THANK YOU INSTEAD OF “I TOLD YOU SO!!!” IT’S COOL TO TALK SHIT WHEN YOU’RE RAPPING BUT NOT IN REAL LIFE. WHEN YOU MEET LITTLE WAYNE IN PERSON HE’S THE NICEST GUY FOR EXAMPLE. I JUST WANNA BE A DOPER PERSON WHICH STARTS WITH ME NOT ALWAYS TELLING PEOPLE HOW DOPE I THINK I AM. I NEED TO JUST GET PAST MYSELF. DROP THE BRAVADO AND JUST MAKE DOPE PRODUCT. EVERYTHING IS NOT THAT SERIOUS. AS LONG AS PEOPLE THINK I ACT LIKE A BITCH THIS TYPE OF SHIT WILL HAPPEN TO ME. I GOT A LONG ROAD AHEAD OF ME TO MAKE PEOPLE BELIEVE I’M NOT ACTUALLY A HUGE DOUCHE BUT I’M UP FOR THE CHALLENGE. I’M SURE THE WRITERS AT SOUTH PARK ARE REALLY NICE PEOPLE IN REAL LIFE. THANKS FOR TAKING THE TIME TO DRAW MY CREW. THAT WAS PRETTY FUNNY ALSO!! I’M SURE THERE’S GRAMMATICAL ERRORS IN THIS… THAT’S HOW YOU KNOW IT’S ME!

Stay tuned.  A kindler, gentler Kanye could be in the works.

Whoops!! Kanye West was charged today with misdemeanor vandalism, battery and grand theft, and his road manager, Don Crawley, has been charged with the same counts, but two of each. This all stems back to a fight they had with paparazzi at LAX on September 11 of last year. Video of the incident showed both men wresting a camera away from a photographer, and both smashing parts of it into the ground. Crawley also allegedly smashed a second photographer’s camera. The incident resulted in minor injuries to one of the photographers, prosecutors say.

If convicted of all charges, Kanye could face up to two years and six months in jail and his road manager could face up to five years in jail, according to the statement.

Wow, I didn’t even realize you could go to jail for a misdemeanor! Whatever, though, he’ll probably get off with a slap on the wrist. Wouldn’t it just be ridiculous if Kanye ends up serving jail time for this shit but Chris Brown gets off? That’s totally what would happen, too.