So Justin has premiered his new “clothing line,” William Rast, during Los Angeles Fashion Week Tuesday. He is in a long line of celebrities that have really no qualifications to make clothes yet do so anyway. Is this a good idea? Let us look at some past attempts by celebrities.

Jessica Simpson- Has 3 lines of clothing. Now, I had to go to a mall in suburban Illinois to find a Fashion Bug that actually carries her clothes. I bet Jess totes wears jeans shorts from the Fashion Bug.

(Good or Bad Idea: Um, awful idea. Jess was fined $100 million dollars for not endorsing her cheap-ass Princy Jeans.

JLo- Has both a mid-priced and a high-end line which includes a lot of sweatpants. Gotta give her props for making jeans for girls with a booty.

(Good or Bad Idea: Sweetface, her clothing company grossed $130 million in 2004)

Anna Nicole Smith- Evidently she has a line in the works to show off her “Tex-Sex” style.

(Good Or Bad Idea: Unless it comes with a free supply of those diet pills I ain’t buyin it)

Mandy Moore- So I just spent like 20 min attempting to find this phantom “t-shirt” line that I remember hearing about a few years ago. I live for shopping, but I have never even seen them anywhere. I still can’t find where one can buy them but I guess her motivation was that there was a lack of overpriced t-shirts on the market.

(Good or Bad Idea: Whatever, I don’t care anymore)

Sit back, relax, and enjoy the six-minute Gap commercial that is JT’s “My Love” video.

• Ew! When I reported earlier that House of Carter’s Aaron Carter got engaged to Playboy model Kari Ann Peniche, I was completely unaware that Peniche used to date Nick Carter, Aaron’s older brother. That is just so wrong.
• Tom Green (remember him? no?) shatters his tibia while skateboarding. He plans to air film of the surgery on his online talk show, Tom Green Live, which certainly won’t garner anywhere near the attention he received for his televised testicle surgery, or, you know, for his televised show.
• Where is the love? Justin Timberlake lashes out at the X17 cameramen, and, according to them, has since involved the police. Will someone please give that kid some more of the weed he’s cool enough to smoke now?
• Tara Reid’s new horror flick, Incubus, is not quite up to straight-to-video standards. Instead, they’re sending it straight to download. Tara’s not really aware of this news, because she’s still on lots of pain meds from her recent breast reduction. They’re going to break the news to her when she sobers up, like in a year or so.

HELLO SEPTEMBER 12.

I love you.

• I think our nation’s club owners have figured out that turning away Paris Hilton is a surefire way to get their club’s name in all the papers. I’m totally okay with that, Rose Bar at Ian Schrager’s Gramercy Park Hotel.
• I don’t know at what point Tom Cruise stopped being hot, but it totally happened.
• Britney Spears got that baby out, a healthy baby boy born just before 2 am on September 12. After cutting the umbilical cord, the doctors pierced the baby’s ear and tattooed his upper arm.
• I don’t know if the bigger news is that Jude and Sienna are dating again, or that Us Weekly’s blog totally said “f-buddies.”
• Justin Timberlake’s avant-garde masterpiece, FutureSex/LoveSounds, drops today. You know you’ve really pushed the boundaries of contemporary soundscape when the whole album is available on MTV’s The Leak.
• Eva Longoria takes a pre-emptive strike against her imminent irrelevance; it’s not that she won’t have options after Desperate Housewives runs its threadbare course, it’s just that she doesn’t want to do any of them.

• I haven’t posted about Donald Faison and Cacee Cobb in at least two days. So you’ll all be relieved to know that they showed up together to TV Guide’s Post-Emmy bash at Social Hollywood. I think it’s time to stop speculating and start coping. They’re a couple.
• Gwen Stefani is boycotting the VMAs because she tries really hard to sing good and dance sexy but she just really feels like they’re being nicer to Kelly Clarkson and sometimes she feels picked on like they just really don’t care if they hurt her feelings and it’s just not faaaaiiiir.
• Yes, okay, here’s the Beyonce nip slip. Are you happy? Now leave me to wallow in the sad, Beyonce-nip-slip-posting life I’ve created for myself. I wanted to write literary fiction once, you know.

• La Lohan’s pop would like the opportunity to expound on his prison art.
• Recently divorced Hilary Swank is dating her not-quite-yet-divorced agent at CAA. Will she never get involved with someone famous?
• JT and Cameron in splitsville? Perez Hilton thinks mayhaps.
• I am not writing about or linking to anything regarding Suri Cruise’s fecal matter, be it bronzed or otherwise. I’m just not. Sorry to disappoint.

Excuse the brief leave of absence, folks; in the wake of the Kate Hudson/Strange Bearded Man separation, I needed a mental health day. It happens. I’m much better now, thanks for asking.

So let’s catch up, shall we?

For no discernable reason whatsoever, Justin Timberlake went on record with Vanity Fair to announce his unbridled ire for the vocal stylings of American Idol’s Taylor Hicks. From MSN:

“People think he looks so normal, and he’s so sweet and he’s so earnest, but he can’t carry a tune in a bucket,” Timberlake told Fashion Rocks, a supplement of Vanity Fair. Timberlake also thinks that Hicks’ fame is fragile. “If [Hicks] has any skeletons whatsoever, if God forbid, he’s gay, and if all these people in Mississippi who voted for him are like [then he takes on a thick southern accent], ‘Oh my god, I voted for a queer!’ It’s just too much pressure.”

We get it, Justin. You smoke weed, you sport a tat, you’re banging Jordan Catalano’s ex, and you’ve risen to that pined-for pinnacle of your career at which your album titles can eschew the space bar entirely. No more Mr. Nice Guy for you, JT. You are hardcore, and what better way to put the nail in your boy-band image coffin than to go on record questioning both the vocal skills and heterosexuality of last season’s AmIdol winner? You are so. Fucking. Cool. Yo.

Regarding his raven-haired former flame, he says “I dated Britney half my life, but I don’t know that woman anymore.” Okay. Memo to Brit: the win-him-back plan didn’t work. Cut your losses now.