Get it?  Do you get it?  I’m saying everything twice because Julia’s movie, Duplicity, tanked on its opening weekend.  Sigh…I make me laugh.

Here’s the deal:  Duplicity is probably a pretty good movie; it pulled in $14.4M.  But it’s where society is at right now.  We want senseless crap that requires as little processing as possible.  I think Dr. Phil calls the food version of this phenomenon Low Response Cost…vittles that you can mindlessly ingest.  Therefore, Duplicity was trumped by the #2 bromance flick, I Love You, Man which saw $18M in ticket sales.

Knowing was the number one movie of the weekend, pulling in $24.8M.  This film has to do with astrophysics and catastrophe avoidance.  Fuck, there goes that whole mindless fun theory.  Disproved once again.

Regardless of the reasons for Julia’s decline, what I really can never forgive or forget is Huffington Post’s headline regarding this week’s box office receipts:  Cage Creams Bromance And Julia Roberts.

Gross.  Gross.

1. “Knowing,” $24.8 million.

2. “I Love You, Man,” $18 million.

3. “Duplicity,” $14.4 million.

4. “Race to Witch Mountain,” $13 million.

5. “Watchmen,” $6.7 million.

6. “The Last House on the Left,” $5.9 million.

7. “Taken,” $4.1 million.

8. “Slumdog Millionaire,” $2.7 million.

9. “Tyler Perry’s Madea Goes to Jail,” $2.5 million.

10. “Coraline,” $2.1 million.

Roberts on David Letterman, March 17th

Earlier in the week, Evil Beet posted some pics of Julia Roberts with what looked like strands of pinko hair peeking through her blonde layers. Sorry to disappoint those of you who thought it was a midlife crisis or a show of support for Breast Cancer Awareness month– which I could totally see some well-meaning but thoughtless celebrity doing. “Hey! Let’s all dye our hair pink in support of women with breast cancer… because they don’t have any! And pink is pretttttttty!” Instead of doing something really empathetic like getting massive hemhorrids or throwing up when you eat so much as two spoons full of chicken soup. There are celebrities that do that too, but I doubt it’s in support of breast cancer awareness.

Anyway, in her March 17th appearance on Late Night with David Letterman (see gallery), Julia confirmed that the pink strands were neither altruisitic nor a botched dye job; her daughter told her she should do it, so she did.

“Hazel thought I should,” a matter-of-fact Julia replied. “For someone who wants enthusiasm and support but perhaps less attention, I don’t think that having pink hair is the way to go…So I went for just a little bit.” While Hazel was pleased with the end result, her brother was even more enthusiastic! Reveals Julia,“Finn is crazy about it. He’ll stop people in the market. ‘Sir, sir. Look at my mommy’s hair!’”

Is there anything more adorable than a 4 year old boy named Phinnaeus using the word “sir?” I picture him wearing a three piece suit and doffing a hat to the passers by when he says it.

At first I thought it was just some weird lighting, but after looking at all these photos, I’m fairly certain that strands of Julia Roberts’ hair was dyed pink at the NYC premiere of her new film Duplicity. I have no idea why.

And I have to say, she looks amazing. There’s definitely been some work done in the past few months, but whoever her plastic surgeon is, I want his number. She looks fantastic! Except for the mouth. It’s still kind of ridiculous when she smiles. But, ya know what, she was born with that mouth. She chose those shoes. You have a much better eye for plastic surgeons than for footwear, Miz Roberts.

You know it’s a slow news day when I resort to talking about Julia Roberts.  Oh, sure, she’s America’s sweetheart, but I still view her as a homewrecking slut who broke up a marriage and flaunts her loser husband around like he’s a Birkin.  It’s been years, but I’m bitter and I hold grudges.

Anyway, Julia is on the cover of March’s Allure magazine talking all about life with her hot husband, and by “hot” I mean “stolen”, and their three children.

“I will never be bored again,” the Oscar winner, 41, tells Allure for its March issue.

“Danny and I talk about, ‘What did we do with all the time we must have had?’ ” she says. “Because you don’t recognize it as such, until you have all these little … time thieves running around your house.”

Focused on raising her three children – twins Hazel and Phinnaeus, 4, and another son, Henry, 20 months – Roberts has become creative in using home remedies when it comes to removing a splinter.

“We get a lot of splinters in our house,” says Roberts, whose new movie is Duplicity, with Clive Owen.

“A splinter is just a good light, a pair of tweezers and a lot of singing songs and passing the time: La-la-la, now listen, if you eat all of your dinner It’s distraction and extraction.”

Really?  Julia doesn’t find splinter removal boring?  I can’t deal with her sanctimony.  Because I actually find most aspects of parenting to be completely fraught with tedium.  As a matter of fact, I have three peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that I’m supposed to be making right now and the thought of doing so is making me want to fling myself into traffic or drive a railroad spike into my forehead.  I need a nanny.  And I need Julia Roberts to leave the country.

Hmmm, I don’t know how I feel about this. It looks like they’re getting close to making a film version of the totally amazing book Eat, Pray, Love … with Julia Roberts in the lead role.

Columbia Pictures is in negotiations to pick up the movie rights, released by Paramount Pictures, to the best-selling memoir “Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman’s Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia.”

Columbia is also in the process of making deals with the actors and filmmakers already connected to the screen project. They include Julia Roberts, who would star; “Nip/Tuck” creator Ryan Murphy, who would write and direct; and Brad Pitt and Dede Gardner, who would produce via their Plan B production company.

It’s not that I don’t like Julia, but I just totally did not picture her for this role. I picture someone younger and softer. More vulnerable, I guess. But could this role be the reason Julia was recently spotted sight-seeing in India?

I dunno, I guess the book just meant a lot to me, and I really don’t want to see it as a movie. It’ll lose so much in the translation.

I’m actually going to see the author, Elizabeth Gilbert, speak here in Seattle in a couple weeks. If they do Q&A I am definitely going to be asking her for her thoughts about this.

It may or may not be related to her massive paparazzi break-down last weekend, but Julia Roberts was spotted sightseeing at the Taj Mahal today. Her husband Danny Moder was there with her too.

Poor Julia. She’s trying so hard to get away from the photogs, but they’re even willing to follow her to India!

Image via WENN

Video of Julia Roberts taking a nutty on paparazzi in Venice, California.  I don’t blame her; I’d go nuts being stalked too.  Cure:  Don’t be famous.