For the newest helping of bullshit served straight from the Gosselin family, Jon is back from his trip to the restaurant every fame whore goes to when they want to eat mediocre salads and be seen The Ivy and talking to The Insider about his (can’t happen too) soon-to-be-ex’s allegations that he emptied their bank account last week.

Bottom line?  He denies it.  He claims that he withdrew $22,000 last Thursday and has withdrawn $177,000 — his “paycheck” — over the past year which represents less than 10 percent of their earnings over the past four years.  According to Douchon — that’s totally my new name for him — Kate is over-dramatizing their financial straits (they have 11 bank accounts) and he also alleges that she’s hiding money.

Of course, Jon expresses his deep regret at being forced to divulge all these personal details.  Jon and Kate must be so exhausted always having a gun held to their heads.  You know, the gun that prevents them from just shutting the fuck up and not saying one, single, solitary word about the other party.  That would just be too mature simple though, wouldn’t it?

At this point, I’ve just resigned myself to a lifetime of Gosselin stories.  Jon’s new marriage, Kate on a date, the kids as they methodically enter rehab one by one.  Will the photo and story ops never end?

Hours after going on Larry King– where he said he’s “giving up the money,” where his lawyer accused Kate’s lawyer of only caring about money and not her kids, where he claimed that he wanted to be friends with Kate– Jon Gosselin secretly withdrew hundreds of thousands of dollars from an account he jointly held with Kate. He left only about $1,000 in an account Kate routinely uses to pay the family bills.

When Kate discovered what happened she engaged a high-powered lawyer who immediately sent Jon a letter, demanding he return the money to the bank account. And RadarOnline.com has learned that another lawyer for Kate will go to court in Pennsylvania on Monday to file papers demanding the money be returned.

Multiple sources tell RadarOnline.com that Jon’s actions were in violation of the Gosselin divorce arbitrator’s guidelines.

Another bank account, set up for the Gosselin children, was untouched.

It must be expensive to be such a douche bag.

Jon Gosselin was on Larry King Live last night.  I’m sorry guys, I don’t think we’re ever going to be free of these fuckwits.

Now that Jon has been fired from his show, he feels that the show is not good for his kids and he doesn’t want them involved with any filming.  Of course it isn’t good for his kids to be in front of a camera if Daddy Goss isn’t getting paid for it!

Jon explained to Larry that he looked in the mirror one day and didn’t like what he saw.  Thankfully his girlfriend’s father is a plastic surgeon.  Ha!  Seriously though, he’s had a review of his conscience and taking away his family’s sole means of support is his vision of “doing right”.  Though the timing is convenient, this has been a plan he’s been hashing out with his attorneys for weeks.

Let’s review all the other things that Jon Gosselin does that he obviously feels do not damage his kids:

1)  Cheating on their mother.

2)  Dating a 23 year old.

3)  Telling the media that he despises their mother.

4)  Hanging out in St. Tropez while their kids adjust to life without Daddy back in Pennsylvania.

5)  Exposing his children to his Ed Hardy wardrobe.

6)  Misspelling “penalty” and “Jonathan” on the signs posted at the front gate of their house.

Feel free to add to my list.  It’s just so extensive and I’m getting carpal tunnel syndrome writing about this family these days.  I’m done pouring energy into a dude that doesn’t know how to spell his name.

When will it end?  When I heard that Jon essentially got fired from his family, I thought, “Thank God.  I can finally stop writing about him.  He’s now nothing more than a former sperm donor cast member.”  Sadly, I was wrong.  The newly renamed Kate Plus 8 — though I think Matthew Gilbert over at boston.com had the best idea to rename the show K’eight — has run aground all thanks to Jon.

Remember how he decided to stall his divorce so that he could work on building a better relationship with Kate for the sake of their kids?  Well, his idea of rebuilding burned bridges involved having his lawyer file papers to cease production on the show.

“Effective immediately, no production crews are to enter Jon’s family home for any reason,” a letter from his attorney says, according to The Insider. “In the event that anyone enters the marital property, Jon Gosselin will notify the local authorities to effectuate police action against any trespassers.”

Jon Gosselin owns the property jointly with his wife. The letter is dated the same day as the TLC announcement that the reality show about the couple and their eight kids would be renamed Kate Plus 8starting next season.

“Its pretty clear what’s going on: Now that Jon isn’t going to be on the show, he wants the show to end. All these years he’s maintained that the kids aren’t harmed by the show, but the minute he’s removed from the show, suddenly its bad for his family,” a production source tells PEOPLE.

Isn’t it funny how quickly Jon Gosselin has chosen to bit the hand that feeds him — and boy has it fed him — now that he’s no longer a digit on that hand?  Last week the show wasn’t hurting his kids.  This week it’s detrimental to their very development.

Now that he’s been kicked off his own television show — the show which basically never made reference to his own parents — Jon Gosselin needs a little comforting. He spent some quality time shopping in Manhattan with his mother. I have several comments:

1) His mother looks EXACTLY like Hannah, and a lot like Leah, too. Now I see where those girls got their features, because their faces looked nothing like Kate or Jon, IMO. It’s kind of odd that it was never mentioned that Hannah is basically a miniature replication of Jon’s mother.

2) I love how he’s basically chain-smoking right next to his mother. Clearly she tolerates it better than Kate did.

3) Are those men’s Coach logo shoes? Those are horrendous.

Oh wow! This is amazing! This morning TLC announced that Jon Gosselin will no longer be a part of the show Jon and Kate Plus 8 and the show will now just be titled Kate Plus 8. The reasons are clear: Jon’s been acting like a straight fool all summer: picking up smoking, a barely legal girlfriend, gallivanting in the Hamptons with Michael Lohan and calling the cops on Kate for daring to show up at their shared home when Jon hired a babysitter that he was allegedly sleeping with. “Given Jon’s recent antics, there was no way the show could continue to portray him as a doting Dad, not while all this other crap was going on,” said a source close to the chubby bad dad.

On the other hand, things have been looking up for Kate. After three very successful co-hosting stints on The View, Kate won the hearts of a lot of viewers for continuing to be down to earth and taking the high road. She also recently filmed a pilot for a Food Network show that she would be co-hosting with Paula Dean. I know I’d definitely tune in for that!

So what’s going to be Johnny Goss’ next move? I’m thinking that he’ll bum around New York chain smoking menthol lights while wearing a t-shirt adorned with tiger skulls and bedazzled hearts until the paparazzi gives up on him and then maybe, eventually, he’ll get a gig working the register at a Walgreens. Best of luck to ya, Jon!

Jon Gosselin rides his dirt bike around the property in Pennsylvania. While smoking a cigarette. With the wind blowing his shirt tight against his ripped abs. OMG. They’re ALL this funny.