Just in case his political career weren’t completely, totally and utterly obliterated already, The National Enquirer — which has been freakishly accurate in its coverage of this story — says a secret DNA test proves that John Edwards is in fact the father of his mistress’s daughter, Frances Quinn Hunter.

Rielle Hunter is currently believed to be testifying in secret grand jury proceedings regarding whether Edwards used campaign finance money to keep her quiet after she got pregnant. She was spotted last week in Raleigh, N.C., entering a federal courthouse, where she spent nine hours, but the U.S. attorney’s office in Raleigh has declined to confirm or deny an investigation.

I don’t really care what the DNA test results say. It doesn’t matter. Look at this little girl. She’s a dead ringer for John Edwards, and she has been basically from birth. There’s no doubt it’s his kid.

Former North Carolina Senator and presidential hopeful John Edwards needs to hold on tight to his DNA.  Word has it that The Enquirer  has taken hold of a dirty diaper from Rielle Hunter’s baby while on their original stakeout at The Beverly Hilton.  Apparently getting a cup that Edwards drank from, would provide enough of a sample to determine if he’s the daddy.  Which you know he is.

The Enquirer better step on it and get that sample if they want to break the story.  Mistress Rielle Hunter is no longer receiving payouts from now deceased trial lawyer Fred Baron and the threat of poverty often leads to book deals.

“I lived in New York a long time. I love your paper.”

Kip Hunter, the former husband of Rielle Hunter, with whom John Edwards just admitted to having an affair. This was the only quote he would give to the New York Post when they called to chat with him. I think that’s awesome.

Rielle has a long and distinguished history as a party girl. In fact, she dated playboy author Jay McInerney for a few months, and he was so “intrigued and appalled” by the behavior of her and her friends that he actually wrote an entire book about it, called Story of My Life. And seriously if you’ve read anything by Jay McInerney, you know that intriguing and appalling him is actually quite a feat.

Now that Edwards has admitted to this, it’s fair game for the mainstream publications, so expect a lot more details to come forward in the upcoming weeks. I’m so excited!

It’s opening night of the Olympics, and it also happens to be a lovely, summer Friday night that the country can’t wait to get out and enjoy.

What a politician to do?

Why, admit to cheating on his wife, of course.

Former U.S. senator and Democratic presidential hopeful John Edwards admitted to an extramarital affair in an interview with ABC News, the network reported Friday. He denied being the father of the woman’s child, as had been alleged in tabloid reports.

Speaking to the network for a story to be aired Friday night, Edwards acknowledged the affair with 42-year-old Rielle Hunter, which began after she was hired to make documentary videos for his campaign, ABC said.

He said that he has not taken a paternity test but that the timing of the affair rules out the possibility that he could be her baby girl’s father.

A former campaign aide has publicly said he fathered the child.

Edwards also said that, although he was banging Rielle — while, I should mention, his wife was battling cancer — he never loved her.

See, that makes it all okay. It’s the conversation I have with all my boyfriends. I’m like, “See, I totally understand if you need to get some outside pussy, just don’t fall in love, okay?” Right. Why don’t we just have Tucker Max run for President?

If you live in America, you’ve no doubt heard of the recent National Enquirer story alleging that hot-shot politician John Edwards had a secret affair which produced a secret child. They even have pictures! However, thus far, the mainstream media has not muttered a word about the scandal, since the Enquirer story is anonymously sourced with no hard evidence. But with the Democratic National Convention coming up, and Edwards likely to speak at the event, the issue is looming larger, particularly since Edwards has chosen to ignore the story and refuses to answer questions rather than firmly deny it. Political strategists say this isn’t going to work going forward, particularly if Edwards wants a shot at the vice presidency or attorney general’s seat.

“He absolutely does have to [resolve it]. If it’s not true, he has to issue a stronger denial,” said Gary Pearce, the Democratic strategist who ran Edwards’ 1998 Senate race. “It’s a very damaging thing. … The big media has tried to be responsible and handle this with kid gloves, but it’s clearly getting ready to bust out. If it’s not true, he’s got to stand up and say, ‘This is not true. That is not my child and I’m going to take legal action against the people who are spreading these lies.’ It’s not enough to say, ‘That’s tabloid trash.’ ”

Will Edwards issue a statement like that? And will it — one way or another — finally push this story into the mainstream media? And will that impact the Democrats’ chances in the upcoming election?

I don’t know and I don’t care.

I just LOVE secret baby stories!