Image removed on request.

Nicole Richie is on this week’s cover of People and it’s a damn good thing that he’s so cute, because with a name like Sparrow, he needs to have good looks on his side.  If you’re wondering how they came up with the name — I was convinced that it was sourced from a train of thought that went something like Twitter>Tweet>bird>Sparrow — basically, Joel Madden wanted his son to have a name that would torture him.

“We have different tastes in names,” Nicole says. “Sparrow was one we both liked. I liked the way it sounded with Harlow, and there’s the Captain Jack Sparrow connection.”

Joel goes on, “It reminded me of the Johnny Cash song ‘A Boy Named Sue.’ My worry raising a son in Hollywood is what will he have to struggle for? I wanted to give him a name that he’s going to have to stand up for. I love it; I think it’s a beautiful name.”

Also, despite the rumors, Nicole and Joel are not married.  Nicole maintains that if her children wanted them to get hitched, they would as long as the kids drew up the prenup.  Okay, she didn’t say that part about the prenup, but I imagine that Harlow would be a fierce negotiator.

Upon hearing that his baby mama Nicole Richie was in a car crash yesterday, Joel Madden rushed to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center to be by her side. The two just had their second baby together, and while there’s no sign that the two will ever get hitched, they are one of the only Hollywood couples that seem free from rumors of infidelity and secretly hating each other.

Congrats to Nicole Richie and her uterus, which is currently growing a small penis. (It has a person attached to it, too, but isn’t that all men really are anyway? Penises with bodies attached? Or is that the kind of thinking that results in me being eternally single?)

“Joel bought water-based paint for the nursery and — surprise, surprise — it’s blue,” says a pal of the couple, who adds that Nicole refers to the baby as “he.” “Plus, she recently ordered some plush animals and infant toys from FAO Schwarz, and everything just happens to be blue.”

Ya know, my mom had a thing about baby colors. She didn’t want me to feel like I had to associate my gender with any limitations, color being one of them. So she tried to use neutrals or mixes of color in my room. In fact, the mobile above my cradle was made of tin foil dolls. There was Mrs. Tin Foil and Mr. Tin Foil and baby Tin Foil. Although they didn’t really have gender identifiers, so I suppose they could just as well have been Mr. and Mr. Tin Foil and the Tin Foil baby they had through a surrogate. Thank you, Mom, for the open-mindedness you instilled in me as a child. It basically worked, except now I have this overpowering need to marry a man made of tin foil.

Let me confess right up front that I am a brunette who dyes her hair blonde. Personally, I think that there is something about hot brunettes that makes them so much hotter than hot blondes. But I just can’t pull that whole “sultry” thing off, so I dye my hair.

Lately, there have been far too many attractive dark- haired celebrities going crazy with the peroxide bottle. The latest casualty? Good Charlotte singer and Nicole Ritchie Baby Bump-maker Joel Madden.

This look gets a big thumbs down from me. I think it looks orange and fake, and really washes out his face. But what do you think?

It’s bad enough that you can’t bring your own bottled water on a flight-unless you’re willing to pay four dollars for the much safer Poland Springs crap that is for sale within the terminal, of course.  But now, apparently you can’t bring your own body art either.

Joel Madden was forced to cover up his tattoos before boarding a British Airways flight this weekend.  He gave in to the man and put on a long sleeve shirt and of course documented the whole thing on Twitter.

Was just told by a british air person I can’t get on the plane till I cover my tatts. Should I fight the power?
7:56 PM Apr 25th from TwitterBerry

I really actually am in shock he won’t let me on the plane till I put long sleeves on and other BA rep is disagreeing
7:57 PM Apr 25th from TwitterBerry

Finally in Lisbon. What a long trip.
about 23 hours ago from TwitterBerry

I still can’t believe Brit Air discriminated me for tatts. Unheard of. the guy was literally disgusted by me. I’m gonna write a letter!!
about 22 hours ago from TwitterBerry

Long ass trip. Finally got to the hotel and geuss what!! No rooms!!! Ahhh!!! Haha gotta laugh sometimes
about 22 hours ago from TwitterBerry

I did end up covering my tats. Its not my style to cause a scene I just had a convo with the BA guy told him how it was discrimination
about 22 hours ago from TwitterBerry

IN Lisbon at the LOST video shoot. Having fun. Long day though!
about 15 hours ago from web

@BritishAirways would i be allowed to bring my tattoos if took advantage of this offer?
about 15 hours ago from web in reply to BritishAirways

yes i covered up to board the BA flight. I didn’t want to miss it. And honestly i was embarrrassed all the people were staring and laughing!
about 14 hours ago from web

its not in the rules that i can find.my tatts arent offensive.looking into it. i havent felt this small since the first time i asked nic out
about 14 hours ago from web

Finally in bed after a good 36 hours of craziness. 3 flights. Tattoo discrimination from BA. and a music video later here i am……..
about 7 hours ago from web

Isn’t it comforting to know that airline security is focusing on real threats such as exposed body art?  I know I’ll sleep better tonight knowing that British Airways is vigilant in their concern with the personal safety of all the passengers who could have been harmed by viewing Joel Madden’s tats.

You don’t want to screw around with pregnancy hormones.  I don’t know why Tila Tequila didn’t know this, but I bet she does now.

The Enquirer reports that Nicole Richie and Joel Madden were at a post-Oscars bash when reality-tv star and skanky dress designer, Tila Tequila arrived.  She was hugging Joel and hanging on him until Nicole dragged her fiance away.  Later in the night, Tila circled around again, trying to reconnect with Madden.  That’s when Nicole went psycho.  She put her face in Tequila’s, but thankfully not in tequila, and screamed for her to back off.  Tila left the party several minutes later.

When I was pregnant with my oldest, I almost threw a full bowl of Lucky Charms at my ex-husband’s head.  I’m sure it was just the hormones.  Yep.

And it begins!

Now that Nicole Richie has announced that she is pregnant (which Wendie totally called back in January), we can start looking at pictures of her and playing Spot the Baby Bump.

Here’s Nicole and Joel heading to the Vanity Fair Oscar party on Sunday.

DEFINITE baby bump. Cuteness!

I know I am in the minority here, but I’m still waiting for the giant Nicole Richie drug relapse. I certainly wish all the best for her and her family, but I know this girl too well. It’s gonna happen, and it’s gonna be messy. You can pop out all the kids you want, Nicole. It’s not going to fix the fact that you’re an addict. They may not all get printed, because you’re really not that relevant anymore, but you better believe I still hear the stories about your drunken antics and tantrums. I know you haven’t really changed.