But just for a little while!

Joe sent the following email to pals:

“Friends,

Today I posted my bond in Reno so that I can immediately return to
Florida to face the charges against me. I will be released from jail in
Reno in the next few hours.

I want to thank you all for your help and support over the past 11
months of hell. I also want you all to know that in the same way you
were there for me in my time of need, I will be there for you.

Thank you again,

Joe Francis”

Yeah, right. Joe Francis has no friends. Only people who want to use that little cocksucker for his money.

Anyway.

Florida’ll send him right back to jail. So just keep your kids indoors for the next 24 hours or so.

Oh, happy day!

Girls Gone Wild founder/rapist Joe Francis has lost his bid to be released from a Nevada jail without fear of being extradited to Florida.

Joe’s in jail in Nevada for tax evasion. He’s wanted in Florida on charges related to filming underage girls on spring break, naked.

On Wednesday, U.S. District Judge Brian Sandoval denied arguments by Francis’ lawyers that would have freed Francis, but kept Florida prosecutors from jailing him.

Oh, Joe. Every day you’re in jail is a happy day for me.

Little Joe-Joe doesn’t like it in the slammer. The people are not nice and the cafeteria always runs out of Squirt before he gets there.

You do the crime, you serve the time, Joey Boy.

Guards at the Grady County Law Enforcement Center denied Joe Francis food and blankets and threatened to strap him naked to a chair for 48 hours, Francis’ attorneys alleged last month in court papers seeking his release on bail in a Florida case, The Oklahoman reported.

Francis, 34, was held at the jail from May 17 to June 4 while being moved from a Florida jail to a federal facility in Reno, Nev., where he is awaiting trial next year on a tax evasion charge.

Grady County officials denied the accusations, telling the newspaper that guards never threatened to strap Francis to a chair, that Francis had an extra blanket he shouldn’t have had confiscated and that his transfer was delayed because his family had somehow found out when he was to have been moved, creating a potential security risk.

“Mr. Francis was treated like every inmate that comes through the Grady County Law Enforcement Center,” jail administrator Shane Wyatt told the newspaper.

Suck it up, you whiny little hooker.

It’s been awhile since we’ve heard from our favorite exploitative rapist around these parts. Joe Francis is still in jail but back in the press, this time speaking out against Hugh Hefner for failing to support him while he’s in a Reno, Nevada jail for using underage girls in a sexual performance.

“Hugh Hefner was arrested in 1963 for a similar offense and pursued by law enforcement for decades. It’s sad how quickly he forgets,” said Francis in an interview from the slammer. “What I am going through now is exactly what Hugh Hefner went though, and what Larry Flynt went through, and I will prevail, because I’ve done nothing wrong.”

In an interview on Larry King Live in May, Hefner was asked what he thought about Francis and his predicament. “I’m not a fan,” he said, “because I think it’s [exploitative], and I don’t think he’s a very nice guy . . . I don’t see any parallels [between Francis' work and Playboy]. . . What sets the magazine apart is it really is a lifestyle publication, you know, with good fiction and good articles . . . It doesn’t have much to do with what he’s doing.”

Francis faces up to 40 years in prison if he’s convicted on four felony charges. While Playboy has been accused of using underage girls in sexual performance, Joe Francis took it a few steps further. First, he was sentenced to contempt of court by a Florida judge after launching into a two-minute profanity-laced diatribe during his mediations with the accusers, and he revoked an agreed-upon settlement (Playboy settled out of court with their accusers). He then attempted to bribe a guard for a bottle of water in jail, and was subsequently found to have smuggled drugs into his cell. So his case is a little different than Hef’s, and I hope he serves all forty of those years.

“My cell is actually nicer than my USC dorm room. Yes, it doesn’t have cable, but it doesn’t have the cockroaches, either.”

- Joe Francis, who’s currently choosing to chill out in a Nevada jail, rather than face the charges awaiting him in Florida.

GO BRUINS!

[source]

Sometimes I don’t think this guy would get half the press he does if TMZ didn’t have so much fun making up words like “pimpresario” and “sexecutive.” I prefer to call him “jackass.” I imagine his cell mates called him “bitch.” Whatever your special pet name for Joe Francis, he was released from a Nevada jail on $1.5M bail on Monday afternoon. However, officials in Florida still want him for sexual performance with a minor and smuggling sleeping pills into jail. So, with any luck, he’ll be back in jail soon, and I can throw my third “Joe Francis Is Safely In Jail!” party of this year. They’re always a lot of fun. We have chips, dip, Lunesta. The usual. Says Joe’s rep:

“We are pleased with today’s decision. The Court conducted a very thorough analysis of the facts and determined that Mr. Francis’ release is appropriate in this case. The Court ruled that the conditions of Mr. Francis’ bail were sufficient to compel Mr. Francis to appear in court and to comply with Court orders. Now this allows us to address the issue of bail in his Florida case.”

Heh. See you back in jail soon, Joey.

Joey Boy pleaded not guilty to yet another charge stemming from his sexual misadventures, this time involving a teenager in L.A. who claims Francis repeatedly fondled her, even after she repeatedly asked him to stop. He’ll be in court June 26 for a pre-trial hearing in the matter. He faces a maximum of six months in jail if convicted.

Francis’s lawyer made the following statement:

The allegations made by the alleged victim claiming she was “touched” are ridiculous. There is absolutely no merit to these charges. Mr. Francis is a successful man in a high profile position, and unfortunately, that makes him a target of people who hope to benefit in some way from attacking him. Mr. Francis isn’t going to sit by and put up with these types of baseless attacks. He will vigorously defend himself and take whatever action necessary to clear his name. We believe that the Court or the City Attorney’s office will ultimately be convinced to dismiss this matter.

Francis is currently being held in Oklahoma, and will soon be moved to Nevada to face federal tax evasion charges. He just wrapped up a stint in a Florida prison after pleading guilty to contempt of court, where he managed to rack up even more charges for himself by trying to bribe a guard for bottled water and smuggling prescription drugs into his cell.

And, it wouldn’t be a Joe Francis article if I didn’t take a moment to remind you all of the L.A. Times piece in August of last year in which the reported accuses Francis of raping a young girl. I’m just saying.

The Smoking Gun got their hands on a letter from a psychologist, hired by Francis’s defense team to meet with Francis and determine his general condition. In general, he’s miserable and he wants to kill himself, and that makes me happy. Also, according to the doctor, he’s a pathological narcissist. AHHHHHHHH ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!!

Loves. It.

“Girls Gone Wild” boss Joe Francis has been having such a rough time in a Florida jail that he recently told a psychiatrist that suicide was a possibility if his imprisonment was prolonged. The porn impresario, who this week finishes a 45-day sentence for criminal contempt, also told Dr. Ronald Markman that he was being housed with “all murderers” in his section of the Bay County lockup. “I started freaking out and screaming, I couldn’t breathe,” said Francis. “I don’t think I can handle this on a long-term thing–I’m not a criminal.” Markman, hired by Francis’s defense team, interviewed the 34-year-old late last month and drafted the below report, which was filed Friday in U.S. District Court in Nevada. Markman concluded that while Francis was “clinically stable,” he demonstrated “significant psychiatric issues” for which he has shunned treatment due to embarrassment. During a two-hour interview, the inmate appeared to minimize his drug and alcohol use, Markman concluded. Francis denied using pot, claimed to have tried cocaine only a few times, and said he had one drink per week. He also copped to trying mushrooms.

All three pages of the letter below.