In the most surprising news I’ve heard in the past 45 seconds, “recovering” addict Jodie Sweetin and her husband of 16 months, Cody Herpin, have split. The couple had a baby in April. This is Jodie’s second marriage.

“I was dumbfounded,” says Herpin, adding that Sweetin left their home and took their 7-month-old girl. “Over this past month something has been different. I’m concerned about our daughter and I just want (Zoie) home.”

Sweetin’s agent, Stella Alex, says the actress is “absolutely clean” and that the couple have “come to this path in their life and she felt like this is the way she had to go. Jodie says it’s unfortunate but it’s just what has to happen right now. No more detail, only because she says she doesn’t want to be disrespectful to him.”

The pair were rumored to be working on a reality TV show in August, at which point I announced that their marriage would end, because that’s what reality TV shows do to marriages.

I am always right.

In all seriousness, though, whatever the hell is going on with Jodie, I certainly hope the baby’s okay and is well looked-after. It’s okay to fuck up your own life, Jodes, but leave the kid out of it.

DAMMIT!!!

WTF!!!

People.com was supposed to have the Brangie Baby photos at 7pm EST. By my count, that is SEVEN MINUTES AGO.

They’re releasing them later to get all the page views that come from people refreshing over and over and over again.

Grrrr.

While we wait, here’s Jodie Sweetin, along with Jodie Sweetin’s fake breasts and Jodie Sweetin’s baby weight that she hasn’t lost yet, posing at one of the dumb little events they do leading up to the Teen Choice Awards. I’m annoyed that she’s famous for following up child stardom with a meth addiction. Since when is that original?

Yes, it’s true.

Her meth addiction destroyed her first marriage.

And her reality TV show will destroy her second.

Jodie and second husband Cody Herpin have decided to move forward on a reality TV show about their lives with their new baby girl.

“We’re going to start shooting in a couple months,” she said. “We are in talks with a couple of networks right now. We have one picked out, but nothing is signed yet.”

As to why she’s doing it?

“I think it’s sort of a fun way to show the other side of celebrity and a sort of semi-normal life,” she says.

Translation: “Maybe now I can be famous for something other than my meth addiction.”

Good luck with this, Stephanie Tanner.

Um … congrats? To recovering meth-head Jodie Sweetin, who gave birth to a little girl named Zoie on Saturday. The father is Cody Herpin, her husband of less than a year.

Specifically, they got married on July 14, 2007. So, um, you do the math.

Yeah.

Jodie “Meth Head” Sweetin and second husband Cody Herpin are expecting a baby on April 6. It’s a girl, and Jodie plans to name her Zoie.

OMG.

The Full House alum parties with her new hubby, Cody Herpin, and her new tits, at Area last night. Maybe if Jodie’d done more of that with her first husband, they’d still be together. Well, more lap dances and less meth.

You know what they say: if the new boobs don’t heal the pain you feel inside, a hasty marriage will.

It’s Jodie Sweetin’s new mantra. The 25-year-old former Full House star got hitched earlier this month to Cody Herpin, a set driver (I’m serious — check his IMDB page — he’s an on-set driver). The best part? She only met him a few weeks ago, and they eloped to Vegas.

National Enquirer quotes a “friend” of Sweetin saying that “She believes she’s finally met her soulmate,” and I can hear the sarcasm and disdain even in black-and-white print. The friend may as well have been like, “Seriously, this bitch made more sense when she was hopped up on crack.”

Jodie’s been married once before, to the genius of a husband who was both a cop and blissfully unaware of his wife’s methamphetamine addiction. I need to run into that kind of cop more often when I’m strung out and driving. The actress reportedly got help and got clean, but National Enquirer ran a story in May saying that she’d relapsed.

How long do we figure this new marriage will last? My money’s on four months. Or until they run out of coke.