“I think that there might be some other explanation or something going on. I’m not quite sure what, but I can’t believe that he’s really going to quit [acting] forever to become a rapper.  It seems odd.”

Gwyneth Paltrow to MTV UK when asked about her Two Lovers co-star Joaquin Phoenix and his decision to leave acting in favor of pursuing his dream of being a rapper.

Also, what career advice does Gwyn have for the clumsy and violent human pogo-stick?  “Hmm … maybe to go live in the projects for a few years to get some authenticity, maybe.”

Well, I take it back.  I thought Joaquin Phoenix was certifiable but now I think he’s just playing a nut on TV.  My reasoning?  Every time Phoenix does insane stuff, his brother-in-law Casey Affleck is there videotaping.

In his newest asshole move, last night Joaquin Phoenix jumped on a heckler while he was performing at the LIV nightclub in Miami.  Shocking, I know-venues are actually booking this idiot.  Joaquin, who was supposed to perform at 10:30, ambled onstage around 2:00 a.m. greeted by an agitated audience.  After a few minutes of, uh…unintelligible entertaininment, Phoenix leapt off the stage and onto a heckler in the crowd.  Security pulled Joaquin off and escorted him away.

This has to be a joke, right?  After the David Letterman interview a few weeks back, Rosie O’Donnell alluded to Phoenix having a drug problem on her blog.  Entirely possible.

A few weekends ago, after this performance, the media and blogs started reporting that Joaquin Phoenix’s transition from acting to music was some sort of Andy Kaufman-like hoax.  I didn’t write about it because I knew it was his PR team doing spin.  You just know there were closed door conversations that sounded like “He’s so bad-we have to tell everyone it was a joke we were doing for a documentary.”

Phoenix now confirms that he’s just really, really bad.  I, for one, am glad he’s talking to People and setting the record straight.

“There’s not a hoax,” Phoenix tells the Associated Press of doubts about his sudden conversation (sic) from movie star to hip-hop artist. “Might I be ridiculous? Might my career in music be laughable? Yeah, that’s possible, but that’s certainly not my intention.”

Questions about his intentions surfaced after the newly bearded Phoenix, 34, took the stage in Las Vegas on Jan. 16 in an ill-fated debut of his new career. A video of his performance shows him falling off the stage, though he says it looks worse than it was.

“I had a lot of dudes come up and say, `We really respect you for doing it, putting yourself out there, and going with it,’” he tells AP. “Because I think true hip-hop heads know that it’s hard, it’s going to be a hard transition, and people are going to be lining up just to make fun of me.”

How the hell does being an unintelligible pogo stick that eventually launches ones self off of a stage “look worse than it was”?  Might he be ridiculous?  Oh, it’s a given.  And the dudes who are telling him to “go with it” are gossip bloggers that need new material.  Isn’t that painfully obvious?

Unless this interview is part of the hoax.  Ugh.

I’m more convinced than ever, that for a celeb to make an album in Hollywood, all they have to do is state that they are making an album.  Do actors even have to audition when they decide to abandon Hollywood to pursue their music career?  Or do they just start singing one day until someone leads them to a recording studio?   Because there is no way in hell Sean Combs actually heard Joaquin Phoenix rap prior to agreeing to produce his album. 

Joaquin Phoenix thinks he can rap.  I mean, this is a joke, right?  Is Punk’d still on the air?  You have to watch at 1:20 when no-talent appears to worn out to even properly spank his own ass. 

Video clip #1 is Joaquin rapping “his story” and video clip #2, at 0:32,  is Joaquin doing an impression of the projected path of record sales for his forthcoming album.

This is total news to me, but apparently Walk the Line star Joaquin Phoenix has retired from acting to pursue a career in rapping, with an album to be produced by Sean Combs. He is scheduled to make his first public performance Friday at a Las Vegas club.

At the same time, Casey Affleck has decided to direct a documentary about Joaquin’s journey into the music business. Not only are Casey and Joaquin friends, but Casey is married to Joaquin’s sister, Summer Phoenix.

And I, for one, am now actually in Phoenix, and it is not summer, and I was just wearing a flimsy spaghetti-strap tank top at 11:30 pm and I was just fine. I don’t even want to think about how awful it’s going to be trying to run a half-marathon in the middle of the day, which is what I am supposed to do on Sunday. It’s a completely insane idea — but still seems more sensible than Joaquin Phoenix as a rapper.

You’ve probably heard that Joaquin Phoenix is “not doing movies anymore.”  Probably an excellent idea since the critical blocking skill of “your left is my right” is lost on him.

Joaquin at the AFI Film Festival Centerpiece Gala screening of Che in Hollywood.

I remember him as the hottest thing ever back in the To Die For days, but I can’t decide if he’s aging like a George Clooney or a Ryder Strong (do not get me started on Ryder Strong — I want my childhood fantasies back, dammit!!!).

These pics are from the premiere of We Own the Night on Tuesday in NYC.

What’s the verdict, kids?