Although I don’t know where she got that ridiculous red … is that a dress? Is it overalls? Is it ugly? Yes. All of the above. I’m glad she’s happy, though. Lord knows she was miserable for long enough.
Halle Berry claims she’s never had plastic surgery. [Bossip]
Gold is the new rehab. [INO]
Solange Knowles tells her husband … eh … Lisa beat me to it. [A Socialite's Life]
Fantastic. As soon as we find a fashion designer who’s not gay, he turns out to be a rapist. [Warship]
Um, who is Julie Bowen and why is she talking about her body hair? [Celebslam]
I hate to admit it, but Donald Trump’s little boy Barron is probably the cutest child on the planet. [Monica Monroe]
Get this: Janice Dickinson is probably a lot older than the appearance of her face would imply. [Yeeeah!]
Eh. Jessica Simpson is not adopting a child anytime soon, I assure you. But since everyone is reporting this, here’s a link. [Mollygood]
Jennifer Hudson uses her MySpace blog to try to convince us that not everything you read in the gossip columns is true. Yeah, right. Like I’m supposed to believe that from a girl who tried to bail last-minute on the Soul Train awards! [SOW]
The Beckhams settle on an L.A. home: Meg Ryan’s. [Rumorficial]
Cameron Diaz will have to battle Lindsay Lohan if she wants to get to Jude Law. [BYLTH]
Ryan Seacrest: His Straightest Moments. [Gawker]
Reese Witherspoon jogs the blues away. [Drunken Stepfather]
Jessica Simpson and John Mayer are totally a couple now and they are starting to look eerily similar. Jess’s hair keeps getting darker and she is sporting a rocker chick look, which is quite a departure for her. This black on black suiting ensemble is not really working for me.
Remember when Jess was a sun-kissed California goddess? I loved that Jess. She was dumb and tan and it worked for me. This dark brooding Jess isn’t really my cup of tea. They both look like they need to lie in the sun and get some serious highlights.
Has John Mayer ever watched her movies or listen to her music? Maybe those famous boobs just got him hooked, or maybe Papa Joe is throwing him some extra cash to make Jess look a little less desperate for a man.
Here are some pics of Jess as she once was.
Britney leaves Promises to attend an AA meeting in Santa Monica. And Perez wins this link by being the only blogger with the sense to clip the other people out of the pic. [Perez Hilton]
The Associated Press has revoked Paris Hilton’s media privileges. [The Blemish]
Hide your crack; Bobby Brown’s out of jail. [Celebrity Smack]
Nicole Richie is not engaged to Joel Madden, people — she’s wearing a ring because we haven’t been writing enough about her lately. Sorry, Nicole. Our bad. We won’t let it happen again. [POTP]
If Rumer Willis wasn’t enough for you, her fifteen-year-old sister, Scout, is now officially drinking age. [dlisted]
Nick Cannon’s not married, just totally pussy-whipped. [Glitterati]
Jessica Simpson on the set of her aptly named film, Blonde Ambition. [A Socialite's Life]
I completely forgot that ANTM premiered this week, so thank goodness someone thought to recap it. [IBBB]
So, what about Jessica? According to Extra, you can’t deny you’re a couple anymore.
I don’t think I’ve ever denied it. When did I deny it? I’m having the best time of my life, so if the names don’t make sense to people, that’s so small to me.
Do you feel like your fans are wondering, What the hell?
Here’s the thing: Most artists at one point or another hit a point where they divorce themselves from their fans.
So there you have it, folks. Following in the footsteps of his new love, John Mayer wants a divorce.
(Jessica Simpson is) allergic to cheese. And wheat. Oh, and tomatoes.
Luckily Pizza Hut’s new non cheese sans tomatoes pizza is set to be unveiled. It’s called the O2 and it’s yours for the low low price of $9.99
Justin Timberlake announces plans to launch his own television network, JT TV. I announce plans to throw up a little in my mouth. [POTP]
Remember Lindsay Lohan? [The Blemish]
Mischa Barton does her very best Crocodile Dundee. [Celebslam]
Anna Nicole was cheating … on TRIMSPA! Leave it to CourtTV to get the hard facts in this case. [TMZ]
T.R. Knight is not getting pushed around by anyone anymore! You hear that, Diddy? [Cele|bitchy]
Jessica Simpson and John Mayer pose for some prom post-Grammy photos. [Tabloid Whore]
Paris Hilton won’t have her true commitment to the ground-breaking creation of novel soundscapes diluted by an extended appearance at such self-congratulatory nonsense as the Grammy awards. But you can take her picture real quick. [Defamer]
See? Sarah Silverman is funny. I told you so. [Gawker]
I am stunned by this quote out of Jess Simpson:
She made that decision (divorce), she says, after watching the 2004 romance The Notebook on a plane ride home to Texas. “I just figured out the statement,” she says of the movie, starring Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams as star-crossed lovers. “It was about that moment of desperation. I needed to breathe.”
She figured out the statement? The Goddamn movie isn’t exactly secretive. Figuring it out is like figuring out the statement to Snakes on a Plane. Guess what? There’s fucking snakes.
I really hated The Notebook but I know there are women out there who love it. So I’ll just say this; how many times have you made a decision based on a movie? Also, now that I really bore down into her quote, the movie isn’t about “that moment of deperation.” It’s about finding and holding on to your true love and other such hackneyed cliches. I don’t think it has much to do with divorce at all. Could she mean she realized she didn’t have what Gosling and McAdams had? Okay, maybe, if you attribute logical thought to Jess. But she also should have figured out that someone wrote their dialogue and they only had to get along for around 40 minutes on screen.
I feel like she should have to wear a shirt that says “I am Stupid.” And it would point to her.
